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| TheLoneInquisitor
TheLoneInquisitor
♀️
[16432191]
[2011-02-02 09:20:21 +0000 UTC]
"married to the Lone Warden"
(Unknown)
# Statistics
Favourites: 2564; Deviations: 240; Watchers: 139
Watching: 142; Pageviews: 49236; Comments Made: 7082; Friends: 142
# Interests
Favorite visual artist: Leonardo Da VinciFavorite movies: LOTR saga, Braveheart
Favorite bands / musical artists: Queen, Mozart
Favorite books: LOTR, 1984
Favorite writers: Tolkien
Favorite games: Dragon Age Origins, Mass Effect saga, Fallout 1-2-3, Baldur's Gate saga, Oblivion...
Favorite gaming platform: PC, x-box
Other Interests: gardening, videogames, wild nature
# About me
Inquisitor: 'What if the world despised me?'Blackwall: 'If that were to happen, I would reject the world for lacking in good taste'
I had two types of ideal man: the brave warrior and the family father making woodworks for me in the spare time. Both are gentlemen and put me on a pedestal. Blackwall is everything, Maker help me.
Allergic to social networks, too many toxic people, too much garbage.
I think this habit of inscribing people into cathegories is the source of all problems and the mother of all wars: men against women (and viceversa), straight vs lgbt (and viceversa), black vs white and so on...
I think the terms like 'feminism' or lgbt themselves cause conflict. What about just one big 'Movement for equality'? Human beings should be judged for thieir talents, heart, soul, brain, and not gender, social status, sexuality or race. Quite and simple. Sadly many people who suffered discrimination and claiming they want equality are now overstepping the bounds, often becoming the oppressor.
Western society keeps putting people one against the other. The concept of being an 'independent' woman is also a bit twisted imho. I don't feel the need to be independent, I see couple life as a collaboration where we both depend on each other and cooperate in everything we do and achieve, both helping each other to grow and become better human beings.
No human being is actually independent, we all need each other to survive, and we are here to love each other, not to be independent.
Currently spending about 14 hours a day working in my garden and vegetable garden, so many things to do and I'm loving it, loving real life, no more need to seek refuge in fantasy worlds.
# Comments
Comments: 1073
Sono viva (credo! 
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ciao tesorino, sto bene e tu? Un bacio :*
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Anch'io Paolina cara, grazie!
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Ciao ^^ ho postato nella mia galleria di DeviantArt alcuni screenshot di Dragon Age Inquisition, che riguardano la mia inquisitrice, dagli uno sguardo e dimmi se ti piace, ti dico solo che è una maga
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Thank you for accepting me and my pics
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Many thanks for adding my image to your favorites!
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My pleasure and happy birthday
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You did what?
OMG!!! Thank you so much, I have no words dear, you're a sweetheart
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You deserve it for tolerating my babbling sometimes..lol
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Aww, I babble a lot too
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Grazie per il fav Dolcezza ^^
Come vanno le cose?
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Piacere mio tesoro, l'Irlanda è l'Irlanda e tu sei tu
Come vanno le cose? Uhm, ce l'hai la domanda di riserva?
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La domanda no, un abbraccione extra per quando ti serve si 
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Oooh mi sento abbracciatissima
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Hiii, this is really awkward but I feel like I'm lying to you if I don't do this: This dA account is not my main one. I created this in order to not reveal a friend of mine to be a troll when they post their obvious crack sue "OC"s, pretending to be serious about them, but then I got more active that I had planned to become. I meant to say this back when we started chatting but since the account I'm most active on is... awkward I didn't dare. I feared your reaction, I feared you'd get angry with me, be displeased to find out I've lied to you about this. I'm still afraid but I don't want to keep this a seacret from you. You are a great person and it would be wrong of me to not let you know. My main account (the very, very awkward one, please try not to judge me) is . I'll add you to that account's watch (you can tell me to stop watching you if it makes you uncomfortable, I understand if this all leaves you angry or... well, uncomfortable with me) but I just wanted to explain this first. I m sorry I didn't tell you this sooner.
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LOL I just forgave someone else for the same thing, a certain Rainier aka Blackwall, so no prob
Do you want me to change the icon in the art I made for you? I put the link to your ... uh... troll account
Why should I feel uncomfortable with your true account? I admit the 'sneeze' thing let me a bit "wtf? Is that even possibile?" 
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I'm glad to hear that. I never ment to lie to you.
It's fine as it is unless you wish to change it. I do use this account now for keeping a track on awesome dragon age fan art so this has developed past the original point.
xD
I've told few people and few people have found out some other way but that "Is that even possible/how does that work" reaction has definitely been themost common one. Even so you always nervously think to yourself that oh gods, anyone who finds out will definitely think you are disgusting possibly not even want to talk with you again. I suppose it's kind of silly.
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Oh, these words are strangely familiar to me right now ... "I never meant to lie to you, but once I did I couldn't take it back'
If it's fine to you I'll leave it as it is ;D
Why? It's a weird thing, I admit it, but it's so harmless and innocent! You worry too much 
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Because some people don't like weird things..? I don't really even know xD
Thank you, you really know what to say to make people feel better about their insecurities (:
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Well, happy to make you feel better then
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Oh my gods what happens in that emoticon..? xD
Is that glitter?
Glitter rub-hug?
Who comes up with these :'D
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glitter-rub hug yep
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Tag a quality deviant, You’re it! Quality doesn’t mean that you have a lot of followers, or a lot of messages. It means that you’re nice to other people, and you deserve to be happy. If you get this message, someone is telling you that they love you as you are, and they don’t care how much followers you have. Send this to 10 deviants who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing will happen. But it’s just good to let someone know that you love them!
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Aww thank you dear I'm happy you think I'm nice because I know I haven't been nice to you, I let you down and you deserved much better
I've just gone through a period in which my 'niceness' has been so heavily mortified so many times that I just felt stupid and close my heart, fell into a deep apathy and stopped feeling any gratitude towards anyone, deserving or not.
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It's ok. We all go through those times and I hold nothing against you. I'm happy you're in a better place.
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welcome back I'm happy you're still alive and, I hope, well
Merry Christmas
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Back now for real! 
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Hi, glad you're ok. Me, I'm done with art, this site and people in general. I'm playing Fallout 4 now, growing a kitchen garden and developing autism. A hug.
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I'm very sorry to hear that and very sorry for my part in it! I genuinely enjoyed your story and talking with you and I never meant to disappear and abandon you with the group and for all that, I am truly sorry. I went into a very severe depression consequent of stuff I won't go into here. I stopped doing all the things I had enjoyed, nearly quit school, and fell out of contact with everyone and... at my lowest point, I ODed... I am not telling you all this because I want you to feel bad for me, not at all, only to know that I was not intentionally being a thoughtless ass... rather unintentionally being one I suppose.
I am glad that you are gardening -- growing things is very therapeutic. 
I would like to make things up to you, as best as I can, if late is better than never.
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LOL, why are you blaming yourself for this? You have no part at all, you were one of the very few spots of light I found during my journey here on deviantart.
It's not your fault if all the primadonnas stopped submitting their art as soon as I started managing your group, nor if another VIP complained about the fact I didn't use his xnalara model of Maric -that frankly resembles Alistair with Barbie's wig- to make my comic (I dared to make my own model you know? How rude of me!) and it's not your fault if in the Bioware fandom being hetero automatically means being homophobic and if social politics are the real core of art. And it's not your fault if my dearest 'friend' sucked all my energies because she wanted to become a good artist and kept asking me to help her with every small detail of her damn artworks -and I had to be very careful to speak my mind because she asked for sincerity but wasn't able to bear it, so I was constantly on the razor's edge, and often had to lie because I didn't want her to lose her enthusiasm and fall back into depression and alcohol- and in the meanwhile she talked behind my back with my other friends, God knows what she told them but she had to lie and invent a lot.
My story, I'm happy you enjoyed it, I don't love it anymore, too many bad memories tied to it - then I foolishly mingled it with Narrow Path, because I was naive enough to believe it was so cute to support one another among Duncan's fans, but things are always more complicated than what my simple mind can imagine.
I frankly don't remember what draing you promised me, so don't worry. About the jewelry, I'm broke so I can't send you nothing in return, since I can't afford the shipping fees.
Now I'm playing Fallout 4, actually I'm totally lost in it, it's the best game I ever played (with mods, I use green and building mods because making junk villages in a dead world didn't appeal to me, I'm an elf, I need nature and beauty). And with the unlimited materials mod I'm giving vent to all my frustrations transforming ugly, devastated, polluted areas full of junk, radioactive material and broken structures into small corners of paradise. It's something I've always desired to do in real life but could not do because of econimic hardship and materials shortage. And covering concrete highway overpasses with vines and trees is something I've always wanted to do but it was not within my power.
Also in Fallout 4 romances are available to both sexes, a bit like in DA2 or like Kaidan in ME3, but Bethesda didn't trumpet it from the rooftops nor made it a political issue, they just did it an nobody complained, nor did the lgbt community take possession of the game and the whole fanart thing bullying het people. Now you can tell me it's not like that, but I assure you it is, I had to aknowledge it, and it shocked me deeply.
Anyway, if you really enjoyed my story you can keep reading it and, if you like, also help me with it, it could be a strong incentive to love it again after 2 years, and maybe finish it (after deleting all cross-references to Path of course).
You're a very sweet bright clean soul, and deserve the best in life. I'm so happy you're ok now, this is enough for me to feel good <3
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It is partly how I am, to blame myself for more than I should, not that I thought I was entirely to blame for your bad experience, but I still felt bad for the ways in which I did let you and others down.
Not that it is important, but you should know that I always had to do a lot of requests for art -- most was not by submission. I did not mind as I enjoy finding and requesting artwork for the group when I have time but now dA has made that much more difficult by putting limiting EVERYONE'S submissions regardless of whether it's your own work or not and regardless of whether you're the founder of the group and paid $60 of your own money to make it a supergroup! 
I'm so sorry you've had to deal with false "friends" and other such parasites of the soul. :iconcomformtplz:
So many people think nothing of using others to whatever extent they can get away with or putting others down to make themselves feel better. 
As for bullying het people, was that perhaps uncalled for reactions to comments? If I remember correctly, you had commented about like "The Narrow Path" or another story even though reading M/M romance wasn't normally your thing. That is, of course, wrong and unfortunate and the last thing a thinking person should do is criticize someone saying they liked something they didn't expect to, but I fear people are overly sensitive because there really are still a lot of ignorant bigots. I saw a post from just a few months ago with some idiot pontificating on how homosexuality is a sin.
I will definitely be reading your story again and would be glad to help you with it. 
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This is what makes you a great human being, even too much for this world. I am like you, or better was, because, like you, I've become much more 'selfish'... I'm not a giver anymore, and not out of choice, something was killed inside of me. I once believed that if I made something that made others happy, and they did the same, the general happiness was not the sum of all them, but increased exponentially (I hope these are the correct words). This concept is well explained in the movie 'the celestine prophecy' if you ever saw it. Now I'm more 'I do what I like and share it with myself and I, this gives me life'.
Sadly there are people out there who give themselves life taking it away from you, they can't produce happiness, so they steal what little already exists. And there are others who think they have to cast a shadow over you to shine, finally there are predators, who simply identify you as their prey and have fun tormenting you, only because you are a sensitive soul.
I also don't like how deviantArt works now, too much money involved, as you confirmed. And I don't like how people work around art. This site started as an opportunity to share passions freely with the whole world, support each other among amateurs, without taking it too seriously from an artistic point of view.
As usual, this was spoiled very soon. Now there are superstars with their worshipers, money, politics... all thing I abhor.
Talking specifically about the fact I was called homophobic bigot, it came from a stormtrooper in stilettos which I considered a friend and who actually hated me for who knows what reason. I was reading her story despite the fact the protagonist was Duncan and he was romancing someone I could not identify with (Riordan). In the beginning I was so naive to admit it made me slightly uncomfortable. Actually Duncan romancing a she-dwarf makes me feel uncomfortable too, because I can't identify with that kind of character, especially the one from the slums (not because she's not noble but for her personality). I had never thought about this matter, since I was not bothered at all by the existence of homosexuality, homosexuals and their art, but then I realized homosexuality makes me cringe only when it involves a character I'm in 'love' with and clashes with what's canon, both in my head and in the game. But if the story is written by a friend, who cares? I enjoy to read what comes from the heart of a friend, and I even cheered when the love scene happened, in my head HER Duncan was not mine. But no, it was too late, and the day I tried to defend a girl who was literally destroyed in the bioware forum because she admitted that dating a bisex man would make her feel slightly uncomfortable (she said slightly uncomofortable, not that she despised bisex people, not that she wanted all gay people to die instantly and not even that being gay is a sin). Well, she was attacked in such a bad way that I felt I had to defend her, so I was called homophobic bigot too. In that period I was also disgusted and angry for the continuous rants of a deviantart gay superstar who kept offending straight people and women in particular. His rants were very much the same stuff you hear from homophobes. He said things like 'I'm tired of all this straightness, they make me vomit, the only thought of Cullen fans posting their disgusting Quizzies with their pregnant bellies and the thought it was Cullen's sperm makes me puke' and so on. Just try to reverse this kind of rant imagining it comes from a homophobe talking about gay people... Well... Reactions and comments? 'Oh poor darling' ... Wait, WHAT? Poor darling my ass!
This is what I meant whan I spoke about lgbt taking possession of the game and the fanart. They can insult whomever they want, while straight women have to apology for being straight and support that kind of rants (or be labeled as homophobic). I chose the second because I'm not interested in these ill social dynamics nor am I a bootlicker.
The straw that broke the camel's back was the other 'friend' who played the double game, she acted like a friend with me, used me, sucked all my energies, then reported who knows what to the stormtrooper behind my back. These two snakes also ruined my friendship with Gaspode, I think, but not sure.
Well that's why I deserted deviantart, in short. I've had enough of all this shit, and since my story reminds me of this shit, I have nausea every time I think of it. If I'll ever come back to it, I will erase all references to Path and will not publish on deviantart anymore, only on FF. net, the site I abandoned when I published my first story, a Mass Effect one, because Garrus hardcore fans destroyed me for not respecting their headcanon. At the time deviantart had been my sanctuary, a place where people were nice and collaborative.
Things change, people don't.
Inquisition? A nice game, I loved it, but after Fallout 4 is now... Inquiwhat? Dragonwho? I've always been a Fallout fan, but it never was my fav series for the very scarce interaction, no romance, and flat characters. Awesome characters and interactions have always been the good point of Bioware games. Well, Fallout 4 did better. It's a complete game, addicting in so many ways. It has incredibly well written characters, awesome interaction, romances, incredibly well done fighting system and crafting...
I never romanced Cullen but I know his romance is very satisfying
Sorry for the rant but old demons were just summoned back and they are still strong. Sorry for my poor English too.
Hug.
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"Sadly there are people out there who give themselves life taking it away from you, they can't produce happiness, so they steal what little already exists. And there are others who think they have to cast a shadow over you to shine, finally there are predators, who simply identify you as their prey and have fun tormenting you, only because you are a sensitive soul."
So true, sadly.
Wtf, what you describe happening in the Bioware forum is just... wow, whenever I believe I cannot think less of people, they find new lows. You were totally right to defend that girl, even if it didn't make a difference to stupid people, I'm sure it helped her to not stand alone. What kind of world is it when we cannot even talk about things??? And supporting people in their rights and choices doesn't mean you have to personally want to date all of them! Plus, IF her opinion was based on some untrue assumption, and I am not saying it was, would not having some rational conversation be most likely to give a new perspective rather than insults? Wait, am I expecting people to act in a mature rational manner?
Like you, I do not generally care for stories that go against cannon, or what has become cannon in my head, but I can still appreciate well-done art and writing with a different perspective. We are allowed to have preferences -- this is not saying that someone else's are less valid, but I know that I am "preaching to the choir" as the saying goes.
And that one person's attacks on heterosexual characters and women is totally wrong! 
If I come across such on dA I will be on the side of right -- whether that's supporting someone or reporting an asshole. I will never apologize for liking what I like nor stand by while someone else is put down and bullied for the same!
No need to apologize for the rant -- it IS quite angering and inspired a rant of my own and I was not even the one to have to experience it.
I am not happy with how it turned out and will have to revisit the theme sometime...
Hmm, I've never played Fallout before. Are there elves in it or is that part of the mods you've installed?
I actually have not yet romanced Cullen, not really, but I cannot help but fall for him even as my Lavellan inquisitor was falling for Solas... I've made a third inquisitor to romance Cullen -- I've yet to make it through the game even once!
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I forgot to mention that, on tumblr, I once said the mod that made Blackwall bisex was as right (or wrong) than the one that made Dorian bisex, I lost about 2/3 of followers. Changing the sexuality of a straight person is ok, but don't dare touch Dorian's sacred homosexuality. Then I realised that many lgbt people are stupid enough to slaughter one another, gay and lesbians trolling the bisex because if they date someone belonging to the opposite sex are no longer worthy to be part of the community. On the other side, bisex people telling gay, lesbians, and straight that they are too 'choosy' and that bisex is the best way. Wait... What about: I can't choose who I am attracted to, so let's respect one another and love our diversity? No? LOL. Sigh.
About the girl in the Bioware forum, she was Russian, and Russia is a country where homosexuality is a crime, how can you expect a full open-mindedness from a person who grew up in such an environment? And as you said, do you believe that treating her like shit helps? Frankly, seeing how people who suffered discriminations are so ready to do the same whenever they are given the power, makes me sick. And seeing how many supporters don't give a shit about gay rights but only do that to gain popularity, makes me feel even worse. I called myself out. Goodbye everybody.
Your peace of art is wonderful, it perfectly describes what happens too many times. My problem is that I trusted life, and once you trust life you believe it will send you the right people. I have no expectations if not that of being loved sincerely. I was given a person who was alone, obese, ex-alcoholist, and who lived very near, so near that we could easily be real-life friends. I gave her all I could and more, but I think she was used by the snakes against me, and she was weak enough to listen to them, turn me down play a double game. Now, I don't trust people and don't trust life anymore.
In Fallout there are no elves, it's a post-apocalyptic world, a strange one in which the past is a sort of another Earthly dimension, where in 2077, the year in which the nuclear bombs fell, technology was very advanced in some aspects while it was like in our 50s for other aspects (radio, tv, music, fashion). There are few humans, mostly raiders, in a desolated world with dead trees, supermutants, ghouls, mutated animals. Have you ever seen Mad-Max? It was inspired by it I think. I played the first 3 having to deal with the ugliness of junk towns and dead forests, but it was so engaging in many other aspects I loved them deeply. In FO4 there's the possibility to play with mods on console, xbox one only, so I downloaded the green stuff (regrowth is the best) and many other juicy things.
I love elves, Tolkien's elves, actually, but never liked the ones in dragon age very much, they are too small, thin, ugly, and the Dalish look more like gypsies than wood-elves (sorry) and, talking about Solas, I think he's the least attractive being in the whole galaxy and all its dimensions. There's something disturbing about him, he reminds me on Nosferatu, and now that I know who he really is, I still can't figure out how many women find him attractive and romanceable, but I guess you can help me with this 
I read you graded at school? ^_^ Congratulations <3
A hug.
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Alas, there are idiots and assholes everywhere and of every background and persuasion. 
I won't comment further on all bigotry and backstabbing... except to say that I agree with you and all this makes me give up just a bit more on the human race. There are yet some people worthy of trust, we just must be more guarded in whom we grant that too and whom we give of ourselves to. I think we have both been naive at times and not protected ourselves enough. Do not give up on life, nor even on people, my friend.
I can't be your oxygenI can't be your oxygen
I came apart, poured into you
I gave you all I am
You took me in
Used me up
Now let me out
Empty air is poison
Worse are those who mess with your head and somehow make you feel like YOU are in the wrong when this is not the case. This is one I wrote regarding that manipulative sociopath when I still thought they were a human being whom I was willing to forgive and help...
my last apologyThis is the last time
That I will ask forgiveness
For you hurting me
Oh, I see that you've seen that one and I'm glad it connected with you although sad because I would not wish you to go through that.
I only link this because I feel like I have managed to distill down some essence of what I am trying to convey in what would otherwise be a ramble...
I am not saying that I have it figured out or have all the answers but any means but... While I try to give caution and perspective to people I see giving too much of themselves I also hate to see anyone give up... Am I a realist idealist? Idk But I have met some wonderful people and I have known monsters and then most difficult are those who hurt not out of malice but their own weakness or insecurities. It is difficult, but drowning alongside them will not save them. Will I remember this? I hope so. Guard your heart.
As for Dragon Age, I had intended to romance Cullen but my first inquisitor is herself fascinated by ancient magic and Elven lore and driven to restore to her people what can be recovered. Hence, it only made since for her to be drawn to Solas... I think she was fascinated by what he represented and was hoping somehow to prove to him that her people -- their people -- were worth saving and sharing this knowledge with. Somehow that evolved into and became confused with other feelings... I can feel for her, my poor inquisitor. 
I have not graduated yet, but hopefully will by the end of this year. Right now I am having some untimely difficulty as my stupid insurance is causing problems with my medication resulting in my anxiety demons dragging me down. 
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Yeah, my big fat problem is that one of the people i like the most on Earth is one of the authors of Path, Gaspode, while the other one is one of the worst snakes I've ever stumbled into. I really like and sincerely love Gaspode, she's a great human being and one of the kindest, fairest, nicest, most honest and collaborative people I ever met, she's got a great heart and lots of patience too. But in the end I kind of lost her, we wrote each other for some time then she stopped replying, perhaps when I'm down I'm simply boring, idk.
She always appreciated that I read her story despite the fact it was against my headcanon, she appreciated the fact that I linked my story to hers, that's why going on with my story deleting all references to Path hurts me in the same way than going on keeping them. I only hope that my obese, spoiled, false ex-friend has nothing to do with it, since she was a fan of Path and I guess she talked to Gaspode in private too, or perhaps the swollen headed snake managed to make her despise me too
Not a big problem since by now I have wery little to give but my bitterness. Lately I also discovered the only friend I had here, in the small village where I live, always feigned friendship because he hoped to bang me at least once, and thus add me to his vast collection. He's always been very helpful, very nice to me, I thought he was my dearest friend a a great human being. LOL. Living in this country, Italy, has become a real nightmare lately, I'm isolated because I'm not racist, I'm pro-gay marriage and I'm not a slutty. Most men here don't take a sexual refusal very stilishly, and now he's doing anything he can to make me even more isolated. I also lost the few jobs I had around here because I never joined the chorus of 'let's kick away Syrian refugees' and such. I'm tired.
As for nature, I could not live without it, nor too far from it, that's why I chose to live at 800 m surrounded by woods. But nature right now has nothing to give me , it's rather silent, no more answers coming from her, she's boring and always the same, I lately perceive it like a very sofisticated and pleasant matrix, some sort of well disguised cage. Perhaps I'm simply going nuts.
Ancient wisdom, I get it, sadly I'm not fascinated by his kind of 'wisdom' and I don't like elven lore in Dragon Age. Solas is very much as I imagine Satan (if one exists) i.e. an ambiguous, bit slimy but very intelligent bastard with a falsely innocuous look and a mellow persuasive voice
Have fun with your Inquisitors then ^^ as for me, I'm currently totally smitten for Paladin Danse in Fallout 4, he's so... I can't even... you understood right?
Hug.
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my pleasure, thanks to you for your art
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