HOME | DD
alapip — swallows
Published: 2012-08-26 11:47:04 +0000 UTC; Views: 750; Favourites: 16; Downloads: 5
Redirect to original
Description
swallowsennui
we see
swallows
a sigh
to the sky
swallows
emotion
sans caution
swallows
cries
by the byes
swallows
alone
or with
swoop and dive
internalize
seem more alive
again
he swallows
his sorrow
but never
his pride
llp - aug2012 - dA - DLD-8/28/12
Related content
Comments: 51
thank you, and
for the faves
and the watch!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I have never been able to slow it down quite this much. well, maybe years ago, but not anymore. too much caffeine in me I guess. I'll have to try now.
very nice blend of 2 complimentary views. I won't critique it (unless you really want me to); 100 words to analyze 38 words when we both know what this is about? people should think for themselves.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
nice to hear from you, Sivvy!
and, thanks for the favs...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Congrats on the DLD! And lovely poem, it's great to read out loud!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
we drink tears through the backs of our eyes -
sad how much saltwater never sees the light
(pride is so dry)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
pride: a natural 'manly' thing
enough for he who would be king
sticks and stones, care not at all
too much of this and he shall fall
your comment, Bunny, says you
understood completely...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Congratulations on the well deserved DLD, good sir!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
on the DLD! I think I already said everything I feel about this poem.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you for suggesting the
honor, Wotcher. it's very
encouraging.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
how many dlds have you
got now? i know you
suggest many yourself.
that's very encouraging
for others, and this time
you wrote something
i couldn't resist.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
somewhere between 4 and 6;
5, i think...
i appreciate your appreciation!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thanks again, Ron, for the inspiration.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here [link]
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
a special thank you to Elizabeth,
[TwilightPoetess], for this honor...
pip
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
this is master-writing, my friend.
i read over and over again, aloud and silent.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
the emote-throat stanza bothers me
a little, Wotcher, but thanks for
an inspiring comment...
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
ps. you want to go with "throat"?
that hard 't' sound?
don't fash yourself, please.
it's as close to perfect
as any poem i've read.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
i don't know what "fash" means,
but "close to perfect" [wow]
means, i guess i'd better not
'fix what ain't broke'?
thank you!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
because of the word "emote"?
have you thought about "emo" instead?
i dunno. i got certainly 'got it.'
are you thinking some will
think only of 'emotes' on dA?
some kids might,
but i sure didn't.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
that's just what we do;
it doesn't seem to be a choice -
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
You got the swoop and the air.
You even somehow got the arc of the wings.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
big edit coming - maybe later today...
thanks for the encouragement!
pip
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
very nice work! you've used the dual meaning of the word in the title well and the little rhymes create a wave-like feeling... reminds me of lying on cliffs by the sea, watching swallows fly overhead and hearing waves softly touching land.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you, Hannele.
i'm making some changes to keep
the dual meaning going in a more
palpable manner throughout, but
am going to wait until i think its
totally done before i post them.
[one big tweak instead of a bunch
of little ones]
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
wow, Ron! gee! thanks!
especially thanks for inspiring it...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0