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Astralseed — Anxiety
Published: 2015-08-12 04:34:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 1130; Favourites: 127; Downloads: 0
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I had a really anxiety inducing day yesterday and since I knew it was coming I'd been having a lot of anxiety for the past week or so leading up to it.. I ended up not being able to go to sleep even though my body was overly exhausted and I was mentally completely drained. Felt like shit from the aftermath of what was essentially a week long panic attack that ended with me spending the majority of the day shaking and crying so... I thought maybe if I worked on some art to help process some of the feelings that were overwhelming me it might help. And it did help.Generally I'd channel something like that into a poem, so drawings like this from me are completely unusual. It's highly personal since it's a reflection of the mental and physical state I was in when I began working on the piece. No references used so I'm certain that on a technical level this piece is completely lacking, but for the purpose of allowing me to feel better it did its job well.
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Comments: 41
Beautiful and I like complementary colors of the horse. It's amazing how you can channel your negative energy into something positive such as this drawing ^^
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Thanks, this was a tricky piece because I really wanted to capture what I was feeling and finding the right colors was a big part of that for me.
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You're welcome! ^^ Well, you definitely did
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This is amazing! And I'm sorry you had such a hard week...
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Thanks, I appreciate it. I'm feeling better now
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This is absolutely beautiful. Even more so after reading the inspiration for it...
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I'm sorry you were having such a hard time. I'm always here if you need to vent 
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I absolutely love this, Astral. I can definitely relate to this on a personal level; it's lovely
I'm so sorry to hear that you've been struggling, love. I'm always here for you if you need an anxiety/depression buddy to vent to! Sending good vibes your way and hope things continue to remain afloat for you
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I'm sorry to hear you've been having such a hard time. But I'm also glad you were able to let it out in a productive way for you. I sincerely hope you're feeling better now <3
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Thanks, I'm feeling much better so it's all good
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I'm sorry you've been feeling so stressed Astral, I'm glad doing this helped you out <3
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It's okay, life can't always be easy, that would be way too boring
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I've recently discovered I do have signs of social anxiety which kinda makes everything I feel justified. Yeah I agree with that xD
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anxiety is such an awful thing, I hope you are able to overcome yours!
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I agree, and I've really never had with anything but some social things, it's more depression. Thank you darling, I really appreciate it 
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I think depression and anxiety tend to just feed into one another.
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I've heard a lot of people say that, and both my mom and sister have anxiety and depression, so it's funny to find that anxiety found me after all just in a different way
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I've always had anxiety, or at least for as long as I can remember I've had it. When I was younger I didn't know that I had it though and people around me just thought I was an over dramatic kid that freaked out about nothing. When I hit my mid 20's my anxiety started spiraling completely out of control though and it's been a downhill battle since then.
I remember reading somewhere at some point that for women anxiety usually peaks in early to mid 20's. I don't know if it has something to do with transitioning into adulthood and all the extra responsibilities that brings, or if it's more of a chemical thing as our hormones should calm down more etc.. but it definitely rang true for me.
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I'm sorry sweetie, there is always something to deal with and always something to be happy about <3 You just have to fight your way through it. It's funny how some people don't understand and try to push it off as either you are just weird or it's how your parents raised you etc. Do you take or do anything that can help you cope?
I'm 21 so I think it's doing the same for me, though mine more deals with crowds and being a big introvert which I always have been. I've had depression since I was 14 so I'm used to that now, and I know it'll never go away, but I'm ok with that.
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I have a prescription for anti anxiety meds, but I use them to help me sleep at night instead (as my doctor recommended when we found out it helped me with that at least). While my meds will take the edge off of a panic attack, they do nothing to prevent anxiety or panic and I need high dosages in order for them to keep me mellow enough not to have anxiety at which point I am so drugged up that I can not even stay awake.
Generally I just do what I can do avoid things that I know cause me anxiety and during the times I can't avoid them I do a lot of mental preperation and thought rerouting etc.. sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't.
I can't do crowds at all. A few years back we took the kids to a museum and since I'd been there before and was fine I thought it would be alright. We got there and the first floor wasn't overly busy and it was calm and mostly quiet so I felt fine. Then we went to the second floor and it was just crazy busy with kids running and screaming and laughing and just having fun... It overwhelmed me to no end even though I was not in a crowded space, it was just the noise and motion of so many people that sent me back downstairs. Once downstairs I went off where I thought people would stay away from me, I'd have space etc.. anyway someone came up to me and asked me something (for some reason people are drawn to me and always always always mistake me for an employee) and I nearly broke down in tears. Needless to say we had to cut our visit short because I was just not okay.
It's funny because I am a total social butterfly and people themselves do not bother me/make me nervous etc.. but crowds just make my body fall apart (even when my mind is still stable). I believe I am just too sensitive to all the energies and there are too many for me to shield them out or ground them out. I start picking up on other peoples thoughts feelings etc.. and in my head it becomes really loud and my body just shakes because it's like feeling a rainbow of emotions all at once while the voices are so abundant in my head that I can't filter them anymore.
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I'm sorry to hear that they don't help you during the day, but I'm glad they help you in some other ways, side effects can be pretty interesting. My anti depressant med causes me to have insomnia if I take it after 10 AM.
What kind of things do you think about to reroute your thoughts? Like in what ways? I'm pretty interested in that, as I normally just try to take myself out of the situation or stop interacting completely. Aw honey I'm so sorry that happened to you
I'm the exact same way, crowds just bother me to NO end, for the same reasons too. I'm innately aware of how many people there are around me, what conversations there are, how people are feeling, and it makes my head spin which definitely makes me uncomfortable. It feels like you're being swallowed and you can't do anything about it.
Something that I recommend you never do it go to a panel of any kind, especially at conventions. I don't know if you watch Youtubers (specifically gamers or really anyone) but they do panels that can be recorded and post on Youtube, and that is soooo uncomfortable it's no even funny. I managed to watch a somewhat calm one, and I turned on the next one and I couldn't handle it.
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This is beautiful, and I understand it on so many levels right now 
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Thanks hon, and yeah it helped a lot. I'll need to use art as my go to more often I think.
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This is so awesome! I have been thinking of doing something similar, as I suffer from anxiety attacks and depression too. I wasn't sure if it would really help, but this proves it. 
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You totally should! It definitely helped a lot for me.
Rage art is cool too, but I never felt like that is all that necessary.. if I rage and pour it into art, it will be gone before I finish the sketch and then I just have an angry sketch and the rest will be calm and mellow.
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That's how I feel about rage art! I just can never seem to try it. XD And I will give drawing to relax a try!
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This is so sweet. It embodies anxiety, but not in a terrifying way. You captured the more subtle side of anxiety with this. Hope you feel better soon.
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I'm feeling much better today after getting it out of my system. I'm still incredibly tired though, but I think that's to be expected with as little as I've slept this past week. I think within a few more days I'll be back to normal again
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That's good! I know what it's like, sleep well!
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