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Description

I did what I did for you I did what I could
I did what I don't know how

You did what you did for you you did what you would

I don't know I don't know now

My life will grow my love will go

My life will go, my love will grow

Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you

Everything moves save for me everything will move

I just don't know how to know

But somebody will make me fall somebody will try
Then I will just go and go

My life will grow my love will go
My life will go, my love will grow

Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you

Go, go, go, just go go go
Go, go, go, just go go go

Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you

-----------------------------------------------------

“Where is she?” I ask firmly.

           “Callie, you need to sit down,” Alex says as he tries to guide me to a chair.

           “Where is she?!” I growl as I pull away from him.

           He lets out a sigh. “Before I could get her under, she already was seizing from how high her temp was. We gave her meds and got the seizures to stop so we could put her under. I started cutting but she just started bleeding out. Her blood pressure was already way low. She arrested on the table. We tried for forty-five minutes to get her back, but we were unsuccessful.” He looks at me with a repentant look as he says, “Arizona is dead.”

           My whole body freezes. My brain bounces those three words around in my head, unable to process them. “She’s…she’s what?” I mutter, my breath quickening.

           “She’s dead, Callie,” Alex repeats. “Arizona died.”

           “No!” I shout at him. “No, no, no!” I shove him out of the way and rush down to the O.R. floor. I peek into each O.R., trying to find Arizona. Finally, I look into one operating room and freeze. On the table is a figure draped with a sheet. I slowly walk in and stop in front of the table. The room is chillingly silent. I reach for the sheet and freeze, gritting my teeth before pulling back the sheet.

    I almost fall to the floor. Arizona’s deathly pale face lays motionless on the table. Her eyes are gently closed and her lips relaxed, as if she were asleep. I put my hand on her cheek and flinch at how cold it is. Tears start trickling down my face as I sit down beside the table and grab her limp hand. I sob uncontrollably, feeling like my chest is being stabbed. “How did this happen?” I cry as I squeeze her hand tighter. “You were stable! You were improving! How did you go from that to crashing?! How did you leave me?!” I drop my head to her shoulder and I continue to sob over the body of Arizona, my wife, the love of my life. And now, she’s gone. How did this happen?

    I glance at the chart on the tray next to the table. Without letting go of Arizona’s hand, I reach for it and read it. Just like Alex said, I think to myself. My brain goes through every piece of information, trying to glean how my wife went from stable to dead in the matter of hours.

    I hear the door opening behind me. I don’t look up; my stomach twists, knowing what it means. “Callie, we have to take her down now,” Alex says gently. I nod my head in response. I stand up and look one more time at Arizona’s face, absorbing every detail. I bend down and kiss her forehead as tears fall from my cheeks to hers. I run my fingers through her hair and finally let go of her still cold hand.

-Excerpt from "At the Bottom of Everything":

Song: "Without You" by Ingrid Michaelson
This piece was done by the amazing

Description

I did what I did for you I did what I could
I did what I don't know how

You did what you did for you you did what you would

I don't know I don't know now

My life will grow my love will go

My life will go, my love will grow

Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you

Everything moves save for me everything will move

I just don't know how to know

But somebody will make me fall somebody will try
Then I will just go and go

My life will grow my love will go
My life will go, my love will grow

Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you

Go, go, go, just go go go
Go, go, go, just go go go

Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you

-----------------------------------------------------

“Where is she?” I ask firmly.

           “Callie, you need to sit down,” Alex says as he tries to guide me to a chair.

           “Where is she?!” I growl as I pull away from him.

           He lets out a sigh. “Before I could get her under, she already was seizing from how high her temp was. We gave her meds and got the seizures to stop so we could put her under. I started cutting but she just started bleeding out. Her blood pressure was already way low. She arrested on the table. We tried for forty-five minutes to get her back, but we were unsuccessful.” He looks at me with a repentant look as he says, “Arizona is dead.”

           My whole body freezes. My brain bounces those three words around in my head, unable to process them. “She’s…she’s what?” I mutter, my breath quickening.

           “She’s dead, Callie,” Alex repeats. “Arizona died.”

           “No!” I shout at him. “No, no, no!” I shove him out of the way and rush down to the O.R. floor. I peek into each O.R., trying to find Arizona. Finally, I look into one operating room and freeze. On the table is a figure draped with a sheet. I slowly walk in and stop in front of the table. The room is chillingly silent. I reach for the sheet and freeze, gritting my teeth before pulling back the sheet.

    I almost fall to the floor. Arizona’s deathly pale face lays motionless on the table. Her eyes are gently closed and her lips relaxed, as if she were asleep. I put my hand on her cheek and flinch at how cold it is. Tears start trickling down my face as I sit down beside the table and grab her limp hand. I sob uncontrollably, feeling like my chest is being stabbed. “How did this happen?” I cry as I squeeze her hand tighter. “You were stable! You were improving! How did you go from that to crashing?! How did you leave me?!” I drop my head to her shoulder and I continue to sob over the body of Arizona, my wife, the love of my life. And now, she’s gone. How did this happen?

    I glance at the chart on the tray next to the table. Without letting go of Arizona’s hand, I reach for it and read it. Just like Alex said, I think to myself. My brain goes through every piece of information, trying to glean how my wife went from stable to dead in the matter of hours.

    I hear the door opening behind me. I don’t look up; my stomach twists, knowing what it means. “Callie, we have to take her down now,” Alex says gently. I nod my head in response. I stand up and look one more time at Arizona’s face, absorbing every detail. I bend down and kiss her forehead as tears fall from my cheeks to hers. I run my fingers through her hair and finally let go of her still cold hand.

-Excerpt from "At the Bottom of Everything":

Song: "Without You" by Ingrid Michaelson
This piece was done by the amazing