Comments: 99
b-ridge In reply to ??? [2024-07-17 05:33:33 +0000 UTC]
👍: 2 ⏩: 0
Storyfan134 [2018-12-12 10:40:46 +0000 UTC]
Great inflation but also great story!
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
b-ridge In reply to Storyfan134 [2019-01-11 05:16:19 +0000 UTC]
Great comment! Thanks!
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
Linktastic929 [2018-08-10 17:39:59 +0000 UTC]
What this needs is a neat sequel
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
b-ridge In reply to Linktastic929 [2018-08-11 17:33:22 +0000 UTC]
Oh yeah? What would you hope to see happen in a follow-up?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Linktastic929 In reply to b-ridge [2018-08-12 05:00:40 +0000 UTC]
Maybe, and this is just a maybe, but like a slice of life type deal of what it is like being in love with a peach, and the struggle o trying to get her back to normal. Idk, I just really love this story and would love a sequrl.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
b-ridge In reply to Linktastic929 [2018-08-13 19:57:01 +0000 UTC]
Ooh, I could see that being fun.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Linktastic929 In reply to b-ridge [2018-08-14 17:44:39 +0000 UTC]
Also, happy late birthday!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Linktastic929 In reply to b-ridge [2018-08-16 22:54:28 +0000 UTC]
You are welcome! Just keep this idea and mind, please!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Identityhasnotbeen [2017-12-19 04:37:19 +0000 UTC]
Wow, this story was quite a ride. You put in a good mix of both erotica and tension. Great job!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
b-ridge In reply to Identityhasnotbeen [2018-01-08 08:26:18 +0000 UTC]
Thanks so much. I love trying to find that perfect balance!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
cartoonking1 [2016-05-10 07:26:27 +0000 UTC]
I liked how she become more of a Dumb Peach as she changed, she became more Peach than women at the end and her struggle and loss of self was amazing.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
b-ridge In reply to cartoonking1 [2016-05-13 06:50:10 +0000 UTC]
Thanks! Glad that you enjoyed that part (I know I sure did).
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
cartoonking1 In reply to b-ridge [2016-05-13 07:24:18 +0000 UTC]
I Loved how there was only remnets of her humanity left, enough to know pleasure and live only for that.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
b-ridge In reply to cartoonking1 [2016-05-18 03:40:44 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, it was a fun balance to figure out!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
candyman-24 [2016-02-25 03:12:06 +0000 UTC]
Great story
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
b-ridge In reply to candyman-24 [2016-02-25 05:17:57 +0000 UTC]
Thanks, really glad you enjoyed!
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
candyman-24 In reply to b-ridge [2016-02-25 13:58:54 +0000 UTC]
I did every single part
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
loradayton [2015-11-15 07:47:11 +0000 UTC]
Alas, I am bereft of appropriate praise for this - I can just say bravo!
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
b-ridge In reply to loradayton [2015-12-31 18:07:34 +0000 UTC]
Your bravo is more than praise enough. Thanks so much!
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
MaeraFey [2015-09-20 20:01:05 +0000 UTC]
Well, I see there is no much point to criticizing the plot or characters’ development, since it’s pretty obvious that none of above is the main focus of the short story. Unfortunately, when it comes erotica I am no expert (as a matter of fact, I tend to be rather clueless about this subject). I’m afraid I won’t be able to give you any meaningful input. All I can say is that the manner you described the happenings taking place in the story was vivid enough to get me excited and at the same time (thankfully) lacked any too precise details that would gross me out.
However, there was something I didn’t like. This detail would be Jane. She just didn’t feel like a real person, even before she became a gigantic fruit. No matter how much I tried, I just wasn’t able to emphasize with her, to the point that if she had blown up, I simply wouldn’t care. What is more, the way you described her feelings about the transformation seems to me like one big wasted opportunity. The fact that nearly all the time she’s either oblivious or content takes a lot of the depth and drama your work could have had. As it is now, the story feels as if only was about Brandon, with Jane being there only as an object for him to watch (and, eventually, play around). This is a shame, since having both: a victim and an observer in a transformation story gives an opportunity to show the process from two unique perspectives.
Well, that’s about it. I don’t think I have anything more to say about “Peach Keen”. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be more helpful.
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
b-ridge In reply to MaeraFey [2015-09-22 18:12:38 +0000 UTC]
Hey, thanks so much for the in-depth feedback. I'd say that was plenty helpful!
Glad I could hit that balance between excitement and going overboard, detail wise. It can be a tricky line to walk, sometimes!
As for Jane, I did try to inject her with some personality and make her realistic, but I can understand how Brandon's side of the narrative might take over, especially once Jane's thoughts become compromised. The obliviousness at the beginning of the transformation felt necessary to me in order to "coax" her into her transformed state, but I agree that it would have been perhaps more interesting to have gotten both of their very lucid reactions to what's happening to her. Sorry that she never felt like a fully fleshed-out person, even when she was, well, a person. For what it's worth, I always do try to inject personality into my characters (both victims and observers), and you might find that a few other stories I've written achieve that more successfully. Depending on your tastes, you should check them out!
Again, thanks for the great comment.
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
MaeraFey In reply to b-ridge [2015-09-25 11:56:26 +0000 UTC]
You’re most welcome.
Well, I have to admit that Jane, even that somewhat lacking, was indeed a better character than in the most of non-professional prose I’ve seen. It shows that you tried to do something with her and this counts. Just keep writing and I think you’ll eventually get there.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
MaeraFey In reply to b-ridge [2015-11-23 10:33:25 +0000 UTC]
You're most welcome
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Benji-Blacksky [2015-09-18 23:09:38 +0000 UTC]
Well detailed and good pacing. The end is a tad sad, but I think that was your intent. You did very well.
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
b-ridge In reply to Benji-Blacksky [2015-09-19 20:47:12 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for the kind words. My stories do tend to veer a bit into the darker/sadder side of the genre - I should probably try to attempt a more light-hearted story in the future.
For what it's worth, this may not be the end of Jane and Brandon's story, but it's a bit too early to say...
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Benji-Blacksky In reply to b-ridge [2015-09-19 22:16:19 +0000 UTC]
You're very welcome. You should write stories you want, but never be afraid to try a new angle.
That's good, but you're their maker. Take them wherever they need to go.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Evil-Stan [2015-09-17 03:52:13 +0000 UTC]
What a tragic ending. This is definitely my fetish, but the loss of humanity did a good job of very nearly killing my boner.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
dearatlcntmein [2015-07-20 11:26:04 +0000 UTC]
Lost me when you used "favouritest" that's not a fucking word! Ruined everything!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
b-ridge In reply to dearatlcntmein [2015-07-20 14:20:39 +0000 UTC]
Very true, but it was intentional! That was my attempt to capture some of Jane's loss of intelligence. You'll see a bit more of that as she continues to transform. Hopefully it's not TOO jarring to enjoy the rest of the story!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
dearatlcntmein In reply to b-ridge [2015-07-21 06:49:32 +0000 UTC]
Bullshit excuse. It did ruin the whole thing.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
AtlasAtreides [2015-06-18 21:54:09 +0000 UTC]
Hidden by Commenter
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
b-ridge In reply to AtlasAtreides [2015-06-27 01:33:49 +0000 UTC]
As with all your comments, thanks for sharing your thoughts on Peachy Keen. I agree that this is probably the best reading material for "intro to b-ridge 101". Probably even better than Chapter 4, since that one still requires reading the three chapters and prologue that come before it to truly appreciate it (though I'm sure new readers can get the jist of it).
But yes, this story is definitely unique among my library. I think that most of my stories (especially recently) spend a lot of time with set-up before I move on to the "good stuff". But whereas the setup usually involves introducing all the vital elements that will lead to a character's downfall, the setup in Peachy Keen is very... superfluous I guess. Not in a bad way, mind you - I'm very happy with the way it adds to the flavour of the story. I think by getting a clearer picture of Brandon and Jane and their relationship with each other, it makes the subsequent "juicy bits" all the more enjoyable/tense/suspenseful. Hah, not unlike a certain blueberry story featuring two young high school friends suffering through detention together.
Yeah, I deliberately left some room for interpretation on her final state. I'd say it IS "somewhere in between", as you say, but just where, I leave that up to the audience. The ending's this weird beast that either pleases everyone or no one (as you might see in the comments), since it is kind of this weird mix of darkness and hopefulness, but one that I'm happy with.
Hah good question. I have been toying around with last names for the purposes of the epilogue, but I tend to stay away from them. Primarily, it becomes a hassle of making sure your character's name A) sounds believable, and B) doesn't already belong to someone famous. I mean, that's not TOO much hassle, but in the end does it really make the story any better to know that Jane's name is Jane Thompson? Probably not (and ugh, I just googled it and that's the name of an architect... see?).
Yeah, I get that there's a lot of questions that such a simple premise might pose, and you have the right of it to "just go with it," as it were.
Finally, I think you bring up a very good point. Shoes always seem to get overlooked in my stories. In Jane's case, let's assume that she kicked them off when she got into her apartment. Funnily enough, I was writing a new story when I got your comment, and went back and added some shoes SPECIFICALLY because of it. So there you go - these comments are directly influencing my writing!
Thanks again for the great comment, Atlas! I look forward to reading your epilogue to ASB!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Size-of-Melons [2015-06-11 17:42:23 +0000 UTC]
Fantastic story!
I really enjoyed reading it, you're a brilliant storyteller! ^_^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
b-ridge In reply to Carsist [2015-03-24 23:50:33 +0000 UTC]
Thanks. You're right, but it was so fun to write I didn't mind at all! Thanks for the kind words, as always.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Barrel-o-TF [2015-03-16 23:31:16 +0000 UTC]
Even though this went in a direction I can't entirely keep up with, wanted to let you know I was impressed by the details described and progression of both the change and the story. Nice job!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
b-ridge In reply to Barrel-o-TF [2015-03-16 23:43:06 +0000 UTC]
Thanks so much! I know I have a tendency to leap into the deep end of explicitness, and this story probably did that more than most. I also know that's not your preference, but as always I appreciate the fact that you still take the time to read and comment on them regardless! Out of curiosity, have you read chapter 6 of my Wonka series? It's probably my most "subdued" story, focusing more on the transformation itself and the character's thought process and emotions. I think, at the very least, you'd prefer the direction of that one (and hey, it was fun to write a story that didn't rely on "leaky bits" or "orgasmic bliss" for a change of pace).
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
| Next =>