HOME | DD
denlm — The Wishy Washy Writer
Published: 2019-03-28 16:19:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 280; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
body div#devskin13807586 .journalbox { background-color:#000000; background-image:url(https://fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/o/2011/225/e/1/252646579_293660_244385777_286785_fopheader-1.jpg); background-repeat:no-repeat; background-position:top center; border-width:2px; border-color:#976fae; border-radius:10px; -moz-border-radius:10px; -webkit-border-radius:10px; } body div#devskin13807586 .journaltop img { display:none; } body div#devskin13807586 .journaltop { font-family:verdana, arial; font-size:12px; color:#976fae; padding-top:200px; padding-left:15px; padding-right:15px; padding-bottom:15px; text-align:center; background-color:transparent; } body div#devskin13807586 h2 { font-family:arial; font-size:24px; color:#7b38a2; padding-top:15px; } body div#devskin13807586 a:link { text-decoration:underline; color:#7b38a2; } body div#devskin13807586 a:hover { text-decoration:none; color:#7b38a2; } body div#devskin13807586 a:visited { text-decoration:underline; color:#7b38a2; } body div#devskin13807586 .journaltext { font-family:verdana, arial; font-size:12px; color:#000000; text-align:left; background:#976fae; padding-top:5px; padding-left:30px; padding-right:30px; padding-bottom:15px; margin-top:0px; margin-left:30px; margin-right:30px; margin-bottom:15px; border-width:0px; border-color:#6895a4; border-radius:10px; -moz-border-radius:10px; -webkit-border-radius:10px; } body div#devskin13807586 .journaltext a:link { text-decoration:underline; color:#32004f; } body div#devskin13807586 .journaltext a:hover { text-decoration:none; color:#32004f; } body div#devskin13807586 .journaltext a:visited { text-decoration:underline; color:#32004f; } body div#devskin13807586 .list { background:transparent; font-size:12px; font-family:arial; color:#976fae; text-align:left; padding-left:30px; padding-right:30px; padding-bottom:15px; } body div#devskin13807586 .list .a { background:transparent; color:#976fae; } body div#devskin13807586 .journalbottom { background-color:transparent; font-family:arial; font-size:11px; color:#976fae; padding-bottom:15px; }
Don’t you hate passive people? They never say what they really mean. They beat around the bush. Dodge the issue. Pussyfoot their way to the point. (Or fill in the blank with your own choice of cliche.) They seem to think we have all the time in the world to wait while they spit it out already.
Yet, we do the same thing to our readers every time we use passive voice in our writing instead of active. Consider the following:
“A novel that brims with suspense and intrigue has been crafted by the author.”
“The author has crafted a novel brimming with suspense and intrigue.”
What’s the diff?
Version one is longer.
Version one doesn’t get to the point as quickly as it could.
Version one tries to sound intelligent, formal, sophisticated—but comes off vague and pompous.
Version one puts the doer of the action after the act itself.
Version one is written in passive voice, and according to most grammarians today, is demonic and should be burned at the stake along with its Satanic brothers and sisters.
Active voice is always preferred. All Ways. Editors want the subject to be the doer of the action: Denlm wrote a brilliant blog about the evils of passive voice. In passive voice the subject is acted upon: A blog about the evils of passive voice was written brilliantly by Denlm. In either case, the blog is pretty damn spiffy, but as the author of said blog? Don’t be namby-pamby about it. Put me front and center.
Not sure if you’re being wishy washy? When in doubt, ask yourself the following.
1. Is the subject of the sentence the doer? (Denlm wrote…) If not, it’s passive.
2. Does any form of the verb be (am, is, are, was, were) appear with a past participle? (A blog was written…) If yes, it’s passive.
3. Does the phrase “by [someone or something]” appear in the sentence, or can it be added? (…by Denlm.) Again, if yes, passive, passive, passive.
Spot a wishy washy sentence in your writing? Don’t panic. It’s an easy fix. Simply move the doer to the front of the line; shift the focus from the object of the action to the actor—from the brilliant blog to the brilliant writer.
In the spirit of full disclosure I should point out that there are a few occasions when the person or the object being acted upon is more important than the doer. In those cases it is acceptable to use passive voice. Such as: President Reagan was shot. While we do want to know who pulled the trigger, it is not the most important element of the sentence. A President carries more weight than a John Hinckley and should be the primary focus.
But like assassination attempts, this is a rare event. Don’t assume you can use it as a get out of jail free card every time you spot passive voice in your writing. Take no chances. Convert to active voice.
When you pitch your finished novel to an agent or publisher (yes, you will finish it and pitch it), using passive voice will get your masterpiece placed in the e-trash faster than you can say, “A potential New York Times bestseller was deleted without a full reading by the picky editor.”
See what I did there? Prove it. Fix it.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
CSS and fractal by LunaticStar - Eyes by quickreaver - Novel Fellowship of Psys by denlm
Related content
Comments: 22
Aw, thanks. With the right kind of students, I think I was. But I never had the patience for those who only wanted to slide by. I would never be the teacher who could make them all Stand and Deliver. :sigh:
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Passive messes with me so much. It's like my mind can't recognize it half the time. I think I think in passive... ><
But your examples are so helpful! And I am printing those questions to post on the board above my desk.
This makes me realize my writing is mostly a mess.
But once again you're helping me look at it again in a new light.
Bless you, Denlm.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You're welcome. And, for the record, we all think our writing is a mess. LOL. Someone posted another handy tip on this blog that I plan to use myself from now on. If you can add the phrase "by zombies" to the sentence, it's probably passive voice. "The blog was written... by zombies." "The bicycle was stolen off the street... by zombies." "The liver was eaten, accompanied by a nice bottle of Chianti... by zombies."
Have fun!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
The brilliant author is writing tongue in cheek. 
If the picky editor deletes your current project without reading it, they are heartless and a poor judge of potential New York Times bestsellers.
Hmm, you may have to do a blog on run on sentences. The more I write, the longer they get.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Love. Hmmm, before I can write a blog about run-on sentences, I have to learn how to eliminate them in my own work!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I understand some long sentences are necessary and desirable, but I tend to go that little bit too far sometimes. Just so much to say and too lazy to form succinct lines.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I relate. It's always a crap shoot during the rewrite what sentences will remain long and involved, and which get a proper trim.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I don't remember where I heard it (I think Writing Excuses) but 'by the zombies' has saved me more times than I can count. Whenever I edit these days, the zombies are always lurking at the back of my mind, and if at any time they could be the culprits, I know to change it.
"She was bathed in rose petals" - by the zombies (doh).
"He was delayed on the way to his wedding" - by the zombies (doh).
"Her brain was eaten" - by the zombies (d- wait, what...)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I love this idea! Thank you for sharing. I'm going to get some zombies of my own.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
'any form of the verb be (am, is, are, was, were)'
My tired mind keeps wanting to view these as temporal. Passive is.... gah, a form of past tense?
However when God says 'I AM,' That seems pretty definitively Active-Present Tense 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Not any form. It has to be used in conjunction with a past participal: was deleted by..., is decided by..., was written by... etc.
standing alone one is not a problem. Tell God "I am" is perfectly fine.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
'A blog about the evils of passive voice was written brilliantly by Denlm.'
Yoda you are not.
*shudders* That sentence just Feels so wrong.....
In the middle of things I am. Return to read and comment more, I shall.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Hmmm. Maybe I should have titled this The Yoda Writer...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Then my work here is finished it is. Yass. Lol.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hmmm. The third segment of my primary work currently stands at 21000-odd words, of which 'was' occurs 193 times.
I am very much seeing exactly what you mean with this one.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Penfury and I were just saying how passive voice often seems to sneak into fantasy, sci-fi, and supernatural oriented novels more easily than others. It's like we slip into it, feeling there's something mystical or poetic about the structure. There isn't.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
No. Not with me. I'm just doing it WRONG.*
* - I played a small role in A Midsummer Night's Dream in college. That was our director's favorite phrase and manner of speaking it: 'you did it WRONG!'
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Lol. I used to direct theater productions, too. I think that phrase is in the director's handbook.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0