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Alex was worried.

Not just worried.

Extremely worried.

How he knew he was so anxious was because he found himself nibbling on his claws. And Alex only does this when he is… well… extremely worried.

The dark brown-furred wolf glared at the lowering sun. He thought that the big bright star-thing hated him because he swore it was moving much faster than usual. It was nearly reaching the trees. Which meant that the wolf had less than an hour to find the damsel in distress before he met up with his brothers.

Alex looked around the dense forest. Time was not on his side, and the only thing worse than that was if he was lost. And…

Alex: (Scratches his head) Wait a sec… is dat same rock still followin’ me?

…And things just got much worse.

Alex was still getting used to this tricky forest. Not that he was lost! It was from all these trees adding more trees around him, that’s all! But Alex knew he needed to find his way around soon or he would wind up as not only the last of the Big Bad Wolves to return, but also come back with empty paws... and an empty stomach.

The wolf’s belly growled in protest of still being without a good meal, so in desperation, he was forced to ask some humans for directions. And so he did.

And without much progress.

Alex: Sheesh! And here I thoughts dat folks from upstate were crazy!

The wolf was assuming that the local residents were just as odd. First, he asked a bearded man that had a lump on his head that was nearly the size of his dog for some pointers. But Alex quickly regretted it when he recognized who the man was from his brothers’ descriptions.

And as he covered his eyes in hopes that if he did not see the hunter, the hunter would not see the wolf, Alex removed his paws from his face to see that the middle aged man did not even give him a mere glance… for he was too busy running and shouting ‘scary goat mother’.

Then later, Alex saw a man in a blue blouse, so he tapped his broad shoulder to get his attention. But when the man took one look at the wolf, he began to back away with wide eyes while holding up his large hands sputtering ‘please don’t sic your scary friend on me!’

After the big wailing man ran off, Alex blinked in bewilderment, roughly scratching his yellow cheek ruff

Alex: Geeze, I never saw da guy! I knows I’m a wolf, but everybody here is actin’ so spooked!

However, as Alex began walking again, his puzzlement was replaced with dread, and the normally cheery wolf was becoming very frustrated. The gardenia perfume had long faded by now, and using his ears and eyes was not having any luck with locating the damsel with the goods, either.

Alex: (Thinking) Pretendin’ ta be good is so darn hard! If I wasn’t bein’ a goodie goodie, I coulda gobbled up dat big, blue bloused guy! I never ates peoples, though. I really wanna try some home cookin’ and… (Shudders) …and without almost becomin’ dinner.

The wolf insecurely rubbed his shoulders when he recalled himself trying his chimney idea with the three pigs.

Alex: (Muttering) …Dose darn pigs’ big boilin’ pot almost made me buy the big den.

He shook his head from that failure with clenched fangs.

Alex: …Oh, face it, Wolfy. You’ll never prove ta your brothers dat you ain’t some dodo dat doesn’t knows anythin’.

Alex’s steps became heavier as he shut his eyelids tightly.

Alex: (Thinking) Guess… guess I’ll always be hungry forever…

And as the downtrodden wolf sniffed and wiped the tears from his face that he told himself that he did not have, his self-pity was abruptly-

CLUNK! THUD!

…Interrupted.

Alex & Voice: (Yelling) Hey! Watch where you’re goin’ ya-!

Alex: -klutz!

Voice: -oaf!

Mumbling, the wolf rubbed his sore head.

Alex: Dat was a definite ouch.

Voice: (Groans) Yeah, ya ain’t kiddin’.

Alex opened his eyes to find that not only someone else had yelled nearly the same complaint as he did, but that someone had also stumbled back and was sitting on the ground as he was. And that someone was a woman.

Alex: (Thinking) I wonders if dis is da dame we’re lookin’ for?

The dark brown wolf observed the young woman, who had flipped her large ponytail away from her face and was rubbing her own brow from the head-on impact. Alex’s muzzle spread upwards in excitement and relief.

Alex: (Happily) Dis… dis has ta be ‘er! Is dat baked apple I smell in ‘er backpack? Mmm! I can taste ‘em already!

Alex’s tongue slipped out and licked the side his yellow muzzle. And just when he was thinking on what to say, the woman finished comforting her aching head and opened her eyes; matching the wolf’s own wide-eyed stare.

Now, Alex knew what always happened whenever a damsel first saw a Big Bad Wolf. With a long grimace, he covered his folded ears.

Alex: (Thinking) Welp, here comes the wailin’ and da water woiks…

He closed his eyes… but only to peek seconds later to find the woman quietly observing him.

Woman: Do your ears hurt?

Alex’s response was a single blink as he lowered his paws away from his unfolding ears.

Alex: What?

The woman quickly tapped her forehead with her palm.

Woman: Oopsie, ya had your ears covered, so ya probably didn’t catch that. I asked if you’re ears hurt ya?

Albeit, the wolf did manage to hear her the first time around. He was just stunned that this damsel’s response to him was a question, rather than pleading for her life.

He stood up, while shaking off dirt from his blue pants and its mustard stained- err yellow patch.

Alex: Aren’t… Aren’t ya gonna start screamin’ and runnin’?

The woman shook her head without hesitation, and the dark brown wolf cautiously made his way to her.

Alex: Really? Not even from a Big Bad Wolf?

Woman: Nope… and thank you.

Alex: Huh? What for..?

The confused wolf blinked twice at his right paw holding the woman’s hand… for he had unknowingly helped the tall woman to her feet.

Woman: See..? You ain’t so bad.

Alex hastily let go of her hand and he put his paw behind his head.

Alex: Uh, dat was just a trick! See, I’m really, really bad, y’know!

Tilting her head, the woman folded her hands behind her hips.

Woman: Really… really?

Alex: (Nods) Uh-huh! Really! Really!

Alex was about to give an entire speech of his badness, but suddenly, he felt like that pig’s brick house just fell on top of him. He slapped his muzzle while groaning to himself with gritted fangs.

Alex: (Thinking) Drat! I’m suppose ta be playin’ da good guy, here! I can’t be tellin’ da dame da truth dat I ain’t nice! Ugh… what would my brothers say?!

The young woman scrunched her lips into a pondering little pout, then spread them apart to an open mouth grin from an idea. And after a quick brush off from her fall, she took a step closer to the conflicting wolf.

Alex: (Thinking) C’mon, Wolfy! Thinks of somethin’ or do somethin’ ta show ‘er ya ain’t…

The wolf trailed off his thoughts when he felt a delicate hand placed on his stomach.

Alex: (Thinking) …bad?

His black eyebrows sprung up. He was so focused on what to say, he had not noticed the woman’s movements.

Alex: Uh… hey… Whud’dya dooooin’..?

The wolf started making gruff whimpers when the woman’s hand started rubbing his yellow belly. Lifting his head up, Alex flopped on his back to the grass, kicking his left leg in the air. And when her fingernails started scratching, he could not stop himself from laughing.

For the life of him, Alex could not remember the last time he ever laughed like that.

The young woman was knelt beside the wiggling wolf and she herself, could not help from giggling at his happy antics.

Woman: He-he! I don’t think really, really bad wolves are ticklish, do you?

She took back her hand and let Alex catch his breath so he could answer. Still slumped on the ground, he looked up at the awaiting woman who was giving him a very joyful smile. The wolf grinned proudly. He was such a mastermind that his body became ticklish without him knowing in order to trick this dame into thinking that he was a goodie goodie! Alex knew this because of that smile; only good guys receive those!

Alex: (Thinking) Huh-Hah! I fooled ‘er! I clawed it with the good guy act or what?!

The wolf sat up in front of the woman and nodded.

Alex: Yeah, da dame’s got me! I’m really, really, really good. Huh-Hah…

The woman grinned openly. Not just from this very gruff voiced wolf no longer looking like he was about to cry anymore, but because of what he called her.

Woman: Welp, this dame is glad to hear that.

Then, with another head tilt, she squinted her eye in heavy thought at the dark brown-furred wolf, who in turn, slanted his head back with her; both wondering why the both of them looked so confused.

The woman abruptly shook her head, and felt her brow again.

Woman: Nope! No lump on my noggin’. But maybe that bonk was harder than I thought it was… Didn’t I see you twice, already..? Did’ja change your clothes… or your… fur..?

Alex blinked once and looked himself over. He patted his orange vest, and shrugged.

Alex: Humm… I don’t thinks so. I mean, I’ve always been me and dressed like me for as long as I’ve… been me..?

The woman pouted her lips and shrugged, as well.

Woman: Y’know… That actually makes sense! Yip, you’re right, I didn’t see you… He-he… literally, too. Sorry for not lookin’ where I was walkin and for bein’ too nosey, Wolfy.

Alex: (Nods) Yeah, I ain’t seen ya before, either, ‘cause I’d remember ‘dose freckles.

The woman let out a low sigh as she hastily turned sideways. She held her arms and averted her sights from Alex.

The baffled wolf tilted his head again.

Alex: Whud I say?

The tall woman looked back at the wolf, covering her cheeks.

Woman: (Sighs) Ya didn’t say anythin’ wrong, Wolfy. These wacky dots are always the first thing that people find wrong with me, that’s all.

Alex arched an eyebrow and shook his head freely, holding up two white claws.

Alex: Hey, dame, you’re wrong, twice!

The woman slowly put her hands down raising her own eyebrow.

Woman: I’m wrong… twice..?

The wolf jabbed a claw into his furry yellow chest.

Alex: Welp, I ain’t peoples, so I don’t count. And there’s nothin’ wrong with ya freckles! ‘Dey kinda looks like da stuff dat peoples put on top of their foods. Though, I never had sprinkles before…

Grinning wide, he spread his arms wide apart.

Alex: …But I knows I like yours!

The woman blinked in utter surprise and her open mouth grin slowly resurfaced. She was always teased while growing up by her schoolmates with mocking names like dotty or pepper face. But not ever, other than her family, did someone else compliment on her freckles. Nevertheless, coming from a wolf that sounded so sincere.

She turned her head around to fight off a tear and faced the dark brown wolf again with a small sniff.

Woman: Ya… really think so, Wolfy?

Alex: (Nods eagerly) Uh-huh! I really knows so, Sprinkles.

The woman blinked but quickly giggled from that title and nodded back.

Woman: Well… thank you, Wolfy. I mean it… really.

Alex: (Blinks quickly) Really?

Woman: (Smiles) Really! Really!

The sheepish wolf flushed and rubbed the back of his neck.

Alex: Well… they’re da color of my vest and it’s orange. And I likes orange… So, yeah…

Woman: (Happily) He-he… Yip, me too, Wolfy.

The wolf was beaming. He truly had this goodie goodie stuff down perfectly! He would show his snickering and chuckling brothers that he could be tricky, too!

But, there was a problem… This young woman did not appear to be in any danger. So how the howl was he going to be rewarded for doing a good deed if there was no good deed needed to be done?

Alex: So, Sprinkles… Uh… Are ya a damsel in distress?

The woman blinked once from that random inquiry. She glanced around herself a few times and looked back to the dark brown wolf, shrugging her small shoulders.

Woman: I don’t think so, Wolfy. Bein’ a damsel sounds pretty wacky if ya ask me. But I am a woman- umm… dame, though. But I don’t hear any shriekin’ knights rushin’ to save me from the clutches from some pink-eared dragon that wants to bubble me for a snack… Unless…

She narrowed her eyes and pouted in suspicion.

Woman: Unless you’re gonna try to eat me? I hope not, ‘cause I’d hate to punch your fluffy tail!

The nervous wolf sweated while holding his mentioned (and twitching) tail.

Alex: Oh, no way! I ain’t like my greedy brothers-!

The wolf paused and with a tap on his head, a small grin rose up his yellow muzzle.

Alex: (Thinking) ‘Dose other guys she saw earlier… I bet it was my brothers, alright! Welp, dis Wolfy will show ‘em dat he still has some tricks up ‘is sleeve! (Glances at his arms) If I had sleeves…

He turned to the young woman and tried to look as serious and concerned as possible.

Alex: But I gots two, big bad brothers that’ll gobble ya ups, so we’ve got ta be careful!

Woman: Brothers? Are ya sure they’re… really bad?

Alex acted like he was looking out for his evil siblings to and fro. And the way he was circling his head, the woman thought that perhaps this wolf was part owl.

Alex: Oh, Big Bad Wolves for sure! Ya would knows ‘em ‘cause unlike me, they PRETEND to be nice! But they’re… well… really, really, really bad!

Woman: (Blinks quickly) Um… K’?

The wolf swerved his head and put a paw to one of his ears.

Alex: Hey, did’ja here dat, Sprinkles?!

The woman walked over to him, and copied his stance.

Woman: I… I don’t hear anythin’, Wolfy.

Alex: Dat’s ‘cause ya don’t gots ears like me! (Listens) Uh-hah! I thinks I hears my double trouble brothers behind dat bush over there!

The wolf pointed to the mentioned bush and the woman raised a thin eyebrow.

Woman: Umm… are ya sure, Wolfy? I don’t think two wolves could fit in there.

Alex: Uh-huh! Dat’s what ‘dey wants ya to believe so ‘dey can grabs ya if ya get too close!

The excited wolf put his paws on the woman’s shoulders.

Alex: Don’t worry, Sprinkles, I’ll protect ya from ‘em!

The tall woman peeked over Alex’s own shoulder, which was not very hard since she was nearly his same height. She really did not see or hear anything coming from that big bad bush. However, there were those two others, recently. Were they the same ones? But this wolf seemed pretty certain of the danger. And even if the woman could hold her own, dealing with a pair of really, really, really Big Bad Wolves might have been rather hard for her to beat around the bush… She held in a giggle from that unintended pun.

Woman: K’. But ya sure I can’t help ya? We’d be a better match ‘cause-

Alex: YAHHHHHHH-HAAAAA!

The woman’s eyes gawked as she was cut off from the wolf’s battle cry. He leapt in the motionless shrub, making it shake and thrash while he fought his dangerous brothers.

Alex: Huh-Hah! Ya ain’t foolin’ me! I saw your bushy disguise a mile away! Take dat! And DAT! And some of ‘DIS, too!

As the trembling bush that could magically contain three wolves, shook off leaves from the commotion, the worried woman craned her head left and right, trying to see the mighty battle that was before her.

Voice from the Bush: Oh, no! Our big brave brother’s has caught us, ALRIGHT~!

Voice from the Bush: Yeah… He’s too smart and strong for us, AIN’T THAT THE TRUTH!

The woman took a step closer, but still could not see through the dark shrub.

Woman: (Calling out) Wolfy, are ya sure I can’t pitch in? (Holds up a fist) I’ve got a really good right arm!

Just then, the flailing bush became still once more, and Alex made his way out, proudly wiping his paws against each other.

Alex: Huh-Hah! ‘dey weren’t a match for me!

Relieved, the young woman rushed over to the grinning wolf and looked him over.

Woman: That was a lot of fightin’ goin’ on! Are ya okay, Wolfy?

Alex: Sure am! Just all in a day’s woik for us good guys!

Woman: But… whud about your really, really, really bad brothers?

Alex’s overly confident grin flinched, but it quickly returned as knew how to continue on with his charade

Alex: Uh… ya don’t have ta worry about ‘dose two! I told ‘em dat da cute dame was off da menu and I knocked ‘em out cold! Huh-Hah! After I gots done with ‘em, I bet ‘dose sleepin’ uglies wont wakes up for a hundred years! Huh-Huh~!

Alex flexed his arms and was posing quite overly dramatically. When he opened his eyes, he saw that the woman’s freckles were surrounded in a small blush.

Woman: (Smiles) Well, thanks for savin’ me, Wolfy.

With a dainty finger, she plucked a tiny twig from his head.

Woman: And for sayin’ I was… …cute.

The wide-eyed wolf dropped the heroic posture and his flushed cheek ruffs were matching the woman’s own shade.

Alex: (Flustered) Uh… Oh… Welp… I… just said dat… ‘cause..!

While turning his head, his avoiding eyes caught something unusual within the branches of a Douglas fir tree.

Alex: Hey, Sprinkles (Points) do ya see dat in dat tree, over there?

The young woman followed the wolf’s directing paw and her big eyes became wide as ever.

Woman: (Happily) My new hat! I’ve been lookin’ for it in this wacky woods forever!

The dark brown wolf stared at the out of reach hat which looked to be made to be for fancy attire. It was beige with a silky white ribbon tied around it and ended in a long bow. Its rim was well wide and rounded; which was the most likely reason it had become so airborne and was so high up in the tree to begin with.

The two moved a little closer to the tree. The woman sighed sadly at the trunk, for it was very long and narrow.

Woman: Oh, fiddle sticks! The branches are too high up to start climbin’.

Alex scratched the bottom of his muzzle.

Alex: Humm… Whud about if ya sat on my shoulders, Sprinkles?

Woman: Oh! That’s a great idea, Wolfy!

Alex’s bushy tail wiggled. He just could not help it. No one even told him that he had great ideas!

With a boost of a paw, the woman was up, and sitting on the wolf’s shoulders in no time. And as Alex walked over to the tree, he regretted not going up to it first before doing this… great idea. The young woman, however, was quite amused.

Woman: (Thinking) I haven’t had a piggy-back, oopsie, a Wolfy-back ride since I was five! He-he, wheee~!

Alex was very relieved that he made it to the fir tree without tripping on any darn rock or root. The tall woman reached up to try and get a hold onto one of the branches and grinned when her hand had a good grip of one, but when she pulled onto it, the branch quickly snapped in two.

With a sad pout, she lowered it to the wolf, still holding onto her knees.

Alex: Huh… fiddle sticks is right, Sprinkles! ‘Deese tree’s branches are like twigs!

Woman: Yip, I don’t think climbin’ ‘em is such a great idea, Wolfy.

The dark brown wolf let the woman get to her feet and when she faced him, she saw his head and ears were drooped.

Woman: Aw, Wofy! It wasn’t your fault the wacky tree has skimpy branches. (Pats his shoulder) It was still a great idea.

Alex poked his head up and grinned with pride again.

The pair took several paces back, lifting their heads up as they observed the seemingly taunting tree.

Woman: Umm… I don’t suppose you’re super-good at jumpin’. Huh, Wolfy?

Alex: Humm… I don’t thinks my legs are long enough, Sprinkles.

He paused from staring up at the hat to look at the woman who was still staring upwards. Her bottom lip was puffed out as her small nose was scrunched. Alex did not know why, but he thought her pouty expressions were really amusing.

He tapped a white claw to his head a few times, his eyes tightly closed with his fangs clenched. The young woman took a quick glimpse of him and held in a giggle from the wolf’s powerful thinking face.

And before she was going to ask him if his head hurt again, he opened his eyes, snapping his claws.

Alex: (Grins) Huh-Huh! I knows how ta get your hat back, Sprinkles!

Woman: (Grins back) How, Wolfy?

Alex: Welp, I knows I ain’t super-good at jumpin’. But I sure knows dat I’m super-good at puffin’!

Woman: (Blinks) Umm… ‘K?

With his balled up paws at his sides, Alex moved several steps away from the tree. He then motioned a paw behind his back.

Alex: Get behind me, Sprinkles!

Without a word, the shrugging woman did as her companion said. She did not have a single clue to what was going on. But this accent-talking wolf seemed positive of whatever he was going to do, was going to get her pretty bonnet back.

And she REALLY wanted it back!

Folding her hands, she watched hopefully as the wolf took a large inhale of air.

Woman: (Whispering) Please let this work!

Alex: (Mumbling) Please let dis woik!

The dark brown wolf let out a long gust of air, rattling all the fir’s flimsy branches. The woman was amazed at how one wolf could make such a towering tree look like it was engulfed in a hurricane.

After the gust had finally stopped. Alex panted and looked up to see the hat… was still clung in the same place. The tree’s limbs were thin, and some had broken from that the wolf’s powerful lungs, but the hat was so high up and was wedged in over several stubborn branches.

He turned to see the woman. Her hands were still folded to her dress’s bosom. Alex’s muzzle made a small grin at her little pout. It really did just make her look adorably silly.

After sighing and looking upwards at no one in particular, the wolf inhaled a bigger and deeper breath then before, and held it steady for a moment.

Alex: (Thinking) Whud a guy will do for a dame- I mean… ta gets some eats!

He let out all the air he could hold in one long gust. The tree was actually slanted back and the woman wondered if its roots would be lifted out of the ground.

When the powerful breath finally ended, the weary wolf felt himself tumbling over. However, he suddenly stopped moving. That was odd? Should not his face been planted into the grass by now?

When he opened his eyes, he saw the young woman was holding onto his side to help him keep his balance.

Woman: Are ya okay, Wolfy?

With raised eyebrows, Alex stared in curious silence. Since he had met this dame, touching a wolf was not causing her to wince. Now, she was worried about him falling? He guessed he was really good at portraying himself as being nice.

Woman: That musta took a lot of air out of ya.

After he caught up to his panting, the wolf grinned at the woman’s silly pun.

Alex: (Tired) Huh… hah… Yeah, huffin’ and puffin’ always leaves me feelin’ winded…

The woman giggled at his answer and allowed the wolf to steady himself. He wiped his brow and stared up at the tree… and the hat was still hanging. He covered his face harshly.

Alex: Ugh! Dat is one stuck-up hat! After all dat woik..!

Woman: Wolfy, look!

Alex did as the woman’s pointing finger suggested, and he squint his eyes to see the hat HAD move from his puffing. It was dangling by its ribbon and before the two of them could blink, the fancy attire was free.

Stunned, Alex blinked quickly as the hat lightly made its way to the ground.

Alex: …It woiked?

Woman: Yippie!

Alex watched the joyful woman running to collect her elusive bonnet and a huge grin spread up his muzzle and to his cheek ruffs.

Alex: It WOIKED! It woiked! Woiked! Woiked~!

With the hat securely in her brown backpack, the young woman turned around to find the much-recovered wolf, bouncing and singing; his paws way up in the air. What he was doing looked so childish…

And fun!

She trotted over to him, still happy about her new hat being returned.

Woman: (Happily) You did it! You did it! You did it~!

Alex: (Happily) Huh-hah! Huh-hah! Huh-huh~!

And holding paws and hands the pair spun in a circle. Giggling and humming over the wolf’s accomplishment.

Childlike indeed. Now all that is needed for these two to do now, is to start singing ring around the rosy.

After the celebration, the two stopped spinning and both took back their paws and hands.

Woman: (Grins sheepishly) Oopsie. Sorry, Wolfy. Guess I’ve gotten kinda carried away, there.

The dark brown wolf rubbed the back of his head and chuckled in agreement, but then, blinked once.

Alex: I thought your hat was carried away?

Woman: (Grins) He-he! Good one, Wolfy.

The baffled wolf put his claw to his muzzle but thanks to the woman giving him a few seconds without saying how dumb he was…

Alex: Hey, it was pretty darn funny! Huh-hah!

Woman: (Grins) I’m so lucky to have run into ya and- Oh! Wait a minute!

Alex slanted his head as the tall woman hastily dropped to her knees. Before he could ask if her legs had broken from all the hopping, the scent of food wafted his black nose. His tongue lolled out to the side of his yellow muzzle.

Alex: (Thinking) Dat’s right! I gots so darn excited about doin’ somethin’ right, I forgots all about my reward!

The woman pulled out three apple muffins from her leather knapsack. She held them up for the wolf who quickly had them in his mouth before she knew he even took them from her hands.

Woman: I wish I could give ya more for helpin’ me deal with this wacky woods tryin’ to eat my hat. But it’s all I’ve got left with me.

Alex happily hummed and munched on the soft fruited-filled muffins and licked his black whiskers.

Alex: ‘Dey were da best muffins I ever had!

The woman’s thin eyebrows rose up.

Woman: Really?

Alex: Really! ‘Cause ‘dey were the only ones dat-!

Woman: (Interrupts) They were the only muffins you’ll ever eat? Oh, that makes me so proud, Wolfy!

The wolf’s black eyebrows went up, as well, but for a different reason.

Alex: Huh?

Woman: My family always said that I put too much cinnamon in my muffins. (Scoffs) But cinnamon tastes great! Don’t’cha agree, Wolfy? (Smiles)

And at this moment, Alex wondered if this is how his brothers felt when he himself, did not fully understand what they said to him.

The wolf was going to explain that he meant those muffins were not the only ones he would eat, but they were the only muffins he had ever eaten. However, when he saw the smiling dame’s big eyes shimmering hopefully, Alex sighed, and so for her… he nodded.

Alex: Huh-hah… Yeah… I agree with’cha, Sprinkles.

Still wanting to thank her new friend for his help, the grateful woman peered her head into her backpack to see if there was anything else she could offer him. It had to be food, of course. After all, there was no better way to say thanks than the munchies.

Woman: Oh! I forgot there’s an apple in here!

Alex licked his muzzle in anticipation as she lifted her pack upside down and the fruit came dropping and rolling out. But when the young woman picked it up, she frowned from the sight of it.

Woman: Oh, applesauce! It musta got all bruised up when I tripped earlier!

Alex: Ya mean when ya bumped inta me?

With a small pout, the woman glanced sideways.

Woman: Umm… yeah, includin’ that time, too.

Alex: (Shrugs) Welp, a little soft fruit won’t hurt me! ‘Cause I’ve been told my head is pretty darn solid!

The dark brown wolf knocked on the top of his head, and a few thud sounds followed by a little echo was heard, making him blink widely.

The young woman giggled as she stood back up. And after squeezing the apple in her hand, she shook her head curtly.

Woman: It’s still firm, but the skin broke on it and… (Blinks) …I think a worm got into it, too! Ew!

With disgust, she stretched her arm ahead of her, making sure the wormy apple was far away from her face as possible.

Woman: Yuck! Would it be okay if I baked ya somethin’ else to eat, Wolfy?

The wolf panted with a large grin. This would be way better than a bad apple, any day! And he could bring a little something back for his brothers to prove his badness with getting away this heroic scheme thing, too!

Alex nodded readily.

Alex: (Happily) I’d feel pretty good about dat!

The woman nodded, then her open-mouth grin took up most of her face.

Woman: Hey, Wolfy, lem’me show ya my good right arm!

Alex: (Tilts his head) Your whu-? Whoa!

The tall woman had reared back and threw the soiled apple overhead. The flung fruit looked like a red blur when it streaked through the air. Surprisingly, this did not surprise Alex; since this dame was able to hold up his weight when he was catching his breath.

Alex: (Thinkin) What a throw! Humm… Maybe dis whole damsel in distress deal, ain’t really so real?

The pair craned their heads upwards even more as they watched the red dot get smaller and smaller, until a little white star shimmered in its place.

Alex: (Faces the woman) Wow! I’d say dat’s more likes a big bad right arm ya gots there, Sprinkles!

The grinning woman proudly puffed out her dress’s bosom at the wolf’s observation.

Alex returned staring in the direction of the throw. He waited to hear a VERY distinct impact of the apple’s landing…

Nothing.

Alex: So… Uh… is dis da farthest ya threw anythin’?

The woman also resumed looking up.

Woman: (Shrugs) I dunno. I’ve never found the stuff that I’ve chucked.

In unison, they put their hand and paw above their squinting eyes.

Alex: Humm… I wonders if it’ll reach da next county..?

***

In upstate New York, a pig in suspenders was lying face up on the ground. His eyes were swirling, and he was sporting a large lump where his red cap once was.

The young pig was beside his groaning brother, whose straw hat fell off after he also had fallen. Their floppy eared brother rushed over to his dropped siblings.

Moe: Hey, what in the world happened to you, guys?!

Manny: Something hit Jack square in the snout and then, he rammed right into me! Ugh… my head!

Moe: Oh, that’s too bad. You guys oughtta watch where you’re going! Jack..? Are you okay?

Jack: (Eyes still spinning) Uhh… did any-pig get the name of that speeding brick..? Uugghh…

Moe: Brick? Ya mean this..? (Picks it up) Yum, it’s an apple! Boy! (Takes a bite) And look, it’s got a prize in the center… Eww! That’s… that’s NOT a prize!

Grossed out by the wiggling prize, Moe toppled back… right on top of his groaning brothers.

***

After concluding the apple’s flight would forever remain a mystery, the woman secured her knapsack to her back once again, and fiddled her dainty thumbs.

Woman: Wolfy? Are you… Umm… lost?

Looking shocked, the wolf put a paw over his furry yellow chest and scoffed.

Alex: Me? Lost? Huh-hah! I ain’t lost! I never gets lost! I…

His unsure sights went everywhere at everything.

…I just don’t knows where anythin’ is, dat’s all…

The young woman nodded while her eyes unknowingly scanned around herself.

Woman: Yip, me neither. It ain’t my fault things don’t stop bein’ different!

Alex: Humm, can’t disagree with dat, Sprinkles.

Woman: (Sighs) But I really do need to get back home. I know it’s north eastwards, for sure, and I swear I recognized this darn trail. But, for Perrault’s sake, this trail keeps changin’ its directions on me!

Both annoyed at this huge hoodwinking forest, the two folded their arms, frowning and pouting.

Alex: Don’t’cha hates it when everythin’ doesn’t knows where it’s supposed ta go?

Woman: I know! It’s so-!

Wolfy & Sprinkles: Frustratin’!

Both blinked at the combined sentence and their grumpy scoffs became grins and giggles.

Alex: (Snaps his claws) Hey, Sprinkles, whud if we walk together… y’know, ‘til we knows when everythin’ knows where it’s supposed ta go?

The woman raised her eyebrows and scrunched her lips to the side at that suggestion.

Woman: (Firmly) Wolfy… that’s a…

The dark brown wolf folded his ears and sagged his shoulders expectedly.

Alex: (Interjects) I know… It’s a stup-

Woman: (Interjects) …stupendous idea! (Grins)

Alex’s head and ears perked up while a grin reached his muzzle. His dark brown, busy tail wagged excitedly. He was so proud to come up with another great- …Stupendous idea!

The two companions cautiously moved along the forest trail, side by side. The soaring trees seemed to be closing in, and then…

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Wolfy & Sprinkles: AHH!

…an owl had suddenly swooshed right by the startled pair, causing them to quickly go back to back.

Alex: Uh… just lettin’ ya know, Sprinkles, I wasn’t afraid. Dat darn bird just distracted me!

Woman: ME! Ahem… me neither, Wolfy. That wacky owl didn’t scare me! He just wants us to turn back and make these wacky woods more confusin’ on itself!

Alex: Hmph! We’ll show ‘im! Let’s stick together, Sprinkles. So dis darn forest don’t makes us lost, too!

Woman: Hmph! That wacky owl ain’t as assured as us!

Clasping paw and hand, the two ventured forth, deeper along the thin trail. With a serious look about him, Alex scanned the forest’s horizon with a paw above his narrowed eyes, while the young woman firmly tapped her pouting chin, looking absolutely everywhere.

Woman: Umm… Didn’t we just go pass this tree with the knot in it? Oh, don’t bump into it, Wolfy!

Alex: Whew! Thanks for da warnin’! Humm, ya sure-? Hey, watch out, Sprinkles. Da root almost grabbed your boot!

Woman: Oh, good call… and rhyme, Wolfy! Umm… (Stares at the tree) No… I’m not sure…

Meanwhile, the ‘wacky’ owl, perched on the mentioned maple tree, was observing the proud but uncertain pair making their way onwards into the dense woods.

Alex: Hey, we’re goin’ da right ways. See! (Points to the trees) Da moss is growin’ Northside!

Woman: K’! Northside it is! …Umm… our north side or the trees’?

Alex: …There’s more than one side?

The pitying owl clicked his beak several times.

Owl: My… Those two are confused.

Woman: Well, everythin’ has two sides, right?

Alex: Ya wanna turn right, twice?

Woman: That’s sounds… right… Since two rights don’t make a wrong. Right?

Alex: Right! Uh… my right or yours?

After watching the wandering duo… wander off, the brown-dusted bird closed his large yellow eyes, slowly shaking his head.

Owl: So confused. Cute, but so confused, indeed.

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

Alex was worried.

Not just worried.

Extremely worried.

How he knew he was so anxious was because he found himself nibbling on his claws. And Alex only does this when he is… well… extremely worried.

The dark brown-furred wolf glared at the lowering sun. He thought that the big bright star-thing hated him because he swore it was moving much faster than usual. It was nearly reaching the trees. Which meant that the wolf had less than an hour to find the damsel in distress before he met up with his brothers.

Alex looked around the dense forest. Time was not on his side, and the only thing worse than that was if he was lost. And…

Alex: (Scratches his head) Wait a sec… is dat same rock still followin’ me?

…And things just got much worse.

Alex was still getting used to this tricky forest. Not that he was lost! It was from all these trees adding more trees around him, that’s all! But Alex knew he needed to find his way around soon or he would wind up as not only the last of the Big Bad Wolves to return, but also come back with empty paws... and an empty stomach.

The wolf’s belly growled in protest of still being without a good meal, so in desperation, he was forced to ask some humans for directions. And so he did.

And without much progress.

Alex: Sheesh! And here I thoughts dat folks from upstate were crazy!

The wolf was assuming that the local residents were just as odd. First, he asked a bearded man that had a lump on his head that was nearly the size of his dog for some pointers. But Alex quickly regretted it when he recognized who the man was from his brothers’ descriptions.

And as he covered his eyes in hopes that if he did not see the hunter, the hunter would not see the wolf, Alex removed his paws from his face to see that the middle aged man did not even give him a mere glance… for he was too busy running and shouting ‘scary goat mother’.

Then later, Alex saw a man in a blue blouse, so he tapped his broad shoulder to get his attention. But when the man took one look at the wolf, he began to back away with wide eyes while holding up his large hands sputtering ‘please don’t sic your scary friend on me!’

After the big wailing man ran off, Alex blinked in bewilderment, roughly scratching his yellow cheek ruff

Alex: Geeze, I never saw da guy! I knows I’m a wolf, but everybody here is actin’ so spooked!

However, as Alex began walking again, his puzzlement was replaced with dread, and the normally cheery wolf was becoming very frustrated. The gardenia perfume had long faded by now, and using his ears and eyes was not having any luck with locating the damsel with the goods, either.

Alex: (Thinking) Pretendin’ ta be good is so darn hard! If I wasn’t bein’ a goodie goodie, I coulda gobbled up dat big, blue bloused guy! I never ates peoples, though. I really wanna try some home cookin’ and… (Shudders) …and without almost becomin’ dinner.

The wolf insecurely rubbed his shoulders when he recalled himself trying his chimney idea with the three pigs.

Alex: (Muttering) …Dose darn pigs’ big boilin’ pot almost made me buy the big den.

He shook his head from that failure with clenched fangs.

Alex: …Oh, face it, Wolfy. You’ll never prove ta your brothers dat you ain’t some dodo dat doesn’t knows anythin’.

Alex’s steps became heavier as he shut his eyelids tightly.

Alex: (Thinking) Guess… guess I’ll always be hungry forever…

And as the downtrodden wolf sniffed and wiped the tears from his face that he told himself that he did not have, his self-pity was abruptly-

CLUNK! THUD!

…Interrupted.

Alex & Voice: (Yelling) Hey! Watch where you’re goin’ ya-!

Alex: -klutz!

Voice: -oaf!

Mumbling, the wolf rubbed his sore head.

Alex: Dat was a definite ouch.

Voice: (Groans) Yeah, ya ain’t kiddin’.

Alex opened his eyes to find that not only someone else had yelled nearly the same complaint as he did, but that someone had also stumbled back and was sitting on the ground as he was. And that someone was a woman.

Alex: (Thinking) I wonders if dis is da dame we’re lookin’ for?

The dark brown wolf observed the young woman, who had flipped her large ponytail away from her face and was rubbing her own brow from the head-on impact. Alex’s muzzle spread upwards in excitement and relief.

Alex: (Happily) Dis… dis has ta be ‘er! Is dat baked apple I smell in ‘er backpack? Mmm! I can taste ‘em already!

Alex’s tongue slipped out and licked the side his yellow muzzle. And just when he was thinking on what to say, the woman finished comforting her aching head and opened her eyes; matching the wolf’s own wide-eyed stare.

Now, Alex knew what always happened whenever a damsel first saw a Big Bad Wolf. With a long grimace, he covered his folded ears.

Alex: (Thinking) Welp, here comes the wailin’ and da water woiks…

He closed his eyes… but only to peek seconds later to find the woman quietly observing him.

Woman: Do your ears hurt?

Alex’s response was a single blink as he lowered his paws away from his unfolding ears.

Alex: What?

The woman quickly tapped her forehead with her palm.

Woman: Oopsie, ya had your ears covered, so ya probably didn’t catch that. I asked if you’re ears hurt ya?

Albeit, the wolf did manage to hear her the first time around. He was just stunned that this damsel’s response to him was a question, rather than pleading for her life.

He stood up, while shaking off dirt from his blue pants and its mustard stained- err yellow patch.

Alex: Aren’t… Aren’t ya gonna start screamin’ and runnin’?

The woman shook her head without hesitation, and the dark brown wolf cautiously made his way to her.

Alex: Really? Not even from a Big Bad Wolf?

Woman: Nope… and thank you.

Alex: Huh? What for..?

The confused wolf blinked twice at his right paw holding the woman’s hand… for he had unknowingly helped the tall woman to her feet.

Woman: See..? You ain’t so bad.

Alex hastily let go of her hand and he put his paw behind his head.

Alex: Uh, dat was just a trick! See, I’m really, really bad, y’know!

Tilting her head, the woman folded her hands behind her hips.

Woman: Really… really?

Alex: (Nods) Uh-huh! Really! Really!

Alex was about to give an entire speech of his badness, but suddenly, he felt like that pig’s brick house just fell on top of him. He slapped his muzzle while groaning to himself with gritted fangs.

Alex: (Thinking) Drat! I’m suppose ta be playin’ da good guy, here! I can’t be tellin’ da dame da truth dat I ain’t nice! Ugh… what would my brothers say?!

The young woman scrunched her lips into a pondering little pout, then spread them apart to an open mouth grin from an idea. And after a quick brush off from her fall, she took a step closer to the conflicting wolf.

Alex: (Thinking) C’mon, Wolfy! Thinks of somethin’ or do somethin’ ta show ‘er ya ain’t…

The wolf trailed off his thoughts when he felt a delicate hand placed on his stomach.

Alex: (Thinking) …bad?

His black eyebrows sprung up. He was so focused on what to say, he had not noticed the woman’s movements.

Alex: Uh… hey… Whud’dya dooooin’..?

The wolf started making gruff whimpers when the woman’s hand started rubbing his yellow belly. Lifting his head up, Alex flopped on his back to the grass, kicking his left leg in the air. And when her fingernails started scratching, he could not stop himself from laughing.

For the life of him, Alex could not remember the last time he ever laughed like that.

The young woman was knelt beside the wiggling wolf and she herself, could not help from giggling at his happy antics.

Woman: He-he! I don’t think really, really bad wolves are ticklish, do you?

She took back her hand and let Alex catch his breath so he could answer. Still slumped on the ground, he looked up at the awaiting woman who was giving him a very joyful smile. The wolf grinned proudly. He was such a mastermind that his body became ticklish without him knowing in order to trick this dame into thinking that he was a goodie goodie! Alex knew this because of that smile; only good guys receive those!

Alex: (Thinking) Huh-Hah! I fooled ‘er! I clawed it with the good guy act or what?!

The wolf sat up in front of the woman and nodded.

Alex: Yeah, da dame’s got me! I’m really, really, really good. Huh-Hah…

The woman grinned openly. Not just from this very gruff voiced wolf no longer looking like he was about to cry anymore, but because of what he called her.

Woman: Welp, this dame is glad to hear that.

Then, with another head tilt, she squinted her eye in heavy thought at the dark brown-furred wolf, who in turn, slanted his head back with her; both wondering why the both of them looked so confused.

The woman abruptly shook her head, and felt her brow again.

Woman: Nope! No lump on my noggin’. But maybe that bonk was harder than I thought it was… Didn’t I see you twice, already..? Did’ja change your clothes… or your… fur..?

Alex blinked once and looked himself over. He patted his orange vest, and shrugged.

Alex: Humm… I don’t thinks so. I mean, I’ve always been me and dressed like me for as long as I’ve… been me..?

The woman pouted her lips and shrugged, as well.

Woman: Y’know… That actually makes sense! Yip, you’re right, I didn’t see you… He-he… literally, too. Sorry for not lookin’ where I was walkin and for bein’ too nosey, Wolfy.

Alex: (Nods) Yeah, I ain’t seen ya before, either, ‘cause I’d remember ‘dose freckles.

The woman let out a low sigh as she hastily turned sideways. She held her arms and averted her sights from Alex.

The baffled wolf tilted his head again.

Alex: Whud I say?

The tall woman looked back at the wolf, covering her cheeks.

Woman: (Sighs) Ya didn’t say anythin’ wrong, Wolfy. These wacky dots are always the first thing that people find wrong with me, that’s all.

Alex arched an eyebrow and shook his head freely, holding up two white claws.

Alex: Hey, dame, you’re wrong, twice!

The woman slowly put her hands down raising her own eyebrow.

Woman: I’m wrong… twice..?

The wolf jabbed a claw into his furry yellow chest.

Alex: Welp, I ain’t peoples, so I don’t count. And there’s nothin’ wrong with ya freckles! ‘Dey kinda looks like da stuff dat peoples put on top of their foods. Though, I never had sprinkles before…

Grinning wide, he spread his arms wide apart.

Alex: …But I knows I like yours!

The woman blinked in utter surprise and her open mouth grin slowly resurfaced. She was always teased while growing up by her schoolmates with mocking names like dotty or pepper face. But not ever, other than her family, did someone else compliment on her freckles. Nevertheless, coming from a wolf that sounded so sincere.

She turned her head around to fight off a tear and faced the dark brown wolf again with a small sniff.

Woman: Ya… really think so, Wolfy?

Alex: (Nods eagerly) Uh-huh! I really knows so, Sprinkles.

The woman blinked but quickly giggled from that title and nodded back.

Woman: Well… thank you, Wolfy. I mean it… really.

Alex: (Blinks quickly) Really?

Woman: (Smiles) Really! Really!

The sheepish wolf flushed and rubbed the back of his neck.

Alex: Well… they’re da color of my vest and it’s orange. And I likes orange… So, yeah…

Woman: (Happily) He-he… Yip, me too, Wolfy.

The wolf was beaming. He truly had this goodie goodie stuff down perfectly! He would show his snickering and chuckling brothers that he could be tricky, too!

But, there was a problem… This young woman did not appear to be in any danger. So how the howl was he going to be rewarded for doing a good deed if there was no good deed needed to be done?

Alex: So, Sprinkles… Uh… Are ya a damsel in distress?

The woman blinked once from that random inquiry. She glanced around herself a few times and looked back to the dark brown wolf, shrugging her small shoulders.

Woman: I don’t think so, Wolfy. Bein’ a damsel sounds pretty wacky if ya ask me. But I am a woman- umm… dame, though. But I don’t hear any shriekin’ knights rushin’ to save me from the clutches from some pink-eared dragon that wants to bubble me for a snack… Unless…

She narrowed her eyes and pouted in suspicion.

Woman: Unless you’re gonna try to eat me? I hope not, ‘cause I’d hate to punch your fluffy tail!

The nervous wolf sweated while holding his mentioned (and twitching) tail.

Alex: Oh, no way! I ain’t like my greedy brothers-!

The wolf paused and with a tap on his head, a small grin rose up his yellow muzzle.

Alex: (Thinking) ‘Dose other guys she saw earlier… I bet it was my brothers, alright! Welp, dis Wolfy will show ‘em dat he still has some tricks up ‘is sleeve! (Glances at his arms) If I had sleeves…

He turned to the young woman and tried to look as serious and concerned as possible.

Alex: But I gots two, big bad brothers that’ll gobble ya ups, so we’ve got ta be careful!

Woman: Brothers? Are ya sure they’re… really bad?

Alex acted like he was looking out for his evil siblings to and fro. And the way he was circling his head, the woman thought that perhaps this wolf was part owl.

Alex: Oh, Big Bad Wolves for sure! Ya would knows ‘em ‘cause unlike me, they PRETEND to be nice! But they’re… well… really, really, really bad!

Woman: (Blinks quickly) Um… K’?

The wolf swerved his head and put a paw to one of his ears.

Alex: Hey, did’ja here dat, Sprinkles?!

The woman walked over to him, and copied his stance.

Woman: I… I don’t hear anythin’, Wolfy.

Alex: Dat’s ‘cause ya don’t gots ears like me! (Listens) Uh-hah! I thinks I hears my double trouble brothers behind dat bush over there!

The wolf pointed to the mentioned bush and the woman raised a thin eyebrow.

Woman: Umm… are ya sure, Wolfy? I don’t think two wolves could fit in there.

Alex: Uh-huh! Dat’s what ‘dey wants ya to believe so ‘dey can grabs ya if ya get too close!

The excited wolf put his paws on the woman’s shoulders.

Alex: Don’t worry, Sprinkles, I’ll protect ya from ‘em!

The tall woman peeked over Alex’s own shoulder, which was not very hard since she was nearly his same height. She really did not see or hear anything coming from that big bad bush. However, there were those two others, recently. Were they the same ones? But this wolf seemed pretty certain of the danger. And even if the woman could hold her own, dealing with a pair of really, really, really Big Bad Wolves might have been rather hard for her to beat around the bush… She held in a giggle from that unintended pun.

Woman: K’. But ya sure I can’t help ya? We’d be a better match ‘cause-

Alex: YAHHHHHHH-HAAAAA!

The woman’s eyes gawked as she was cut off from the wolf’s battle cry. He leapt in the motionless shrub, making it shake and thrash while he fought his dangerous brothers.

Alex: Huh-Hah! Ya ain’t foolin’ me! I saw your bushy disguise a mile away! Take dat! And DAT! And some of ‘DIS, too!

As the trembling bush that could magically contain three wolves, shook off leaves from the commotion, the worried woman craned her head left and right, trying to see the mighty battle that was before her.

Voice from the Bush: Oh, no! Our big brave brother’s has caught us, ALRIGHT~!

Voice from the Bush: Yeah… He’s too smart and strong for us, AIN’T THAT THE TRUTH!

The woman took a step closer, but still could not see through the dark shrub.

Woman: (Calling out) Wolfy, are ya sure I can’t pitch in? (Holds up a fist) I’ve got a really good right arm!

Just then, the flailing bush became still once more, and Alex made his way out, proudly wiping his paws against each other.

Alex: Huh-Hah! ‘dey weren’t a match for me!

Relieved, the young woman rushed over to the grinning wolf and looked him over.

Woman: That was a lot of fightin’ goin’ on! Are ya okay, Wolfy?

Alex: Sure am! Just all in a day’s woik for us good guys!

Woman: But… whud about your really, really, really bad brothers?

Alex’s overly confident grin flinched, but it quickly returned as knew how to continue on with his charade

Alex: Uh… ya don’t have ta worry about ‘dose two! I told ‘em dat da cute dame was off da menu and I knocked ‘em out cold! Huh-Hah! After I gots done with ‘em, I bet ‘dose sleepin’ uglies wont wakes up for a hundred years! Huh-Huh~!

Alex flexed his arms and was posing quite overly dramatically. When he opened his eyes, he saw that the woman’s freckles were surrounded in a small blush.

Woman: (Smiles) Well, thanks for savin’ me, Wolfy.

With a dainty finger, she plucked a tiny twig from his head.

Woman: And for sayin’ I was… …cute.

The wide-eyed wolf dropped the heroic posture and his flushed cheek ruffs were matching the woman’s own shade.

Alex: (Flustered) Uh… Oh… Welp… I… just said dat… ‘cause..!

While turning his head, his avoiding eyes caught something unusual within the branches of a Douglas fir tree.

Alex: Hey, Sprinkles (Points) do ya see dat in dat tree, over there?

The young woman followed the wolf’s directing paw and her big eyes became wide as ever.

Woman: (Happily) My new hat! I’ve been lookin’ for it in this wacky woods forever!

The dark brown wolf stared at the out of reach hat which looked to be made to be for fancy attire. It was beige with a silky white ribbon tied around it and ended in a long bow. Its rim was well wide and rounded; which was the most likely reason it had become so airborne and was so high up in the tree to begin with.

The two moved a little closer to the tree. The woman sighed sadly at the trunk, for it was very long and narrow.

Woman: Oh, fiddle sticks! The branches are too high up to start climbin’.

Alex scratched the bottom of his muzzle.

Alex: Humm… Whud about if ya sat on my shoulders, Sprinkles?

Woman: Oh! That’s a great idea, Wolfy!

Alex’s bushy tail wiggled. He just could not help it. No one even told him that he had great ideas!

With a boost of a paw, the woman was up, and sitting on the wolf’s shoulders in no time. And as Alex walked over to the tree, he regretted not going up to it first before doing this… great idea. The young woman, however, was quite amused.

Woman: (Thinking) I haven’t had a piggy-back, oopsie, a Wolfy-back ride since I was five! He-he, wheee~!

Alex was very relieved that he made it to the fir tree without tripping on any darn rock or root. The tall woman reached up to try and get a hold onto one of the branches and grinned when her hand had a good grip of one, but when she pulled onto it, the branch quickly snapped in two.

With a sad pout, she lowered it to the wolf, still holding onto her knees.

Alex: Huh… fiddle sticks is right, Sprinkles! ‘Deese tree’s branches are like twigs!

Woman: Yip, I don’t think climbin’ ‘em is such a great idea, Wolfy.

The dark brown wolf let the woman get to her feet and when she faced him, she saw his head and ears were drooped.

Woman: Aw, Wofy! It wasn’t your fault the wacky tree has skimpy branches. (Pats his shoulder) It was still a great idea.

Alex poked his head up and grinned with pride again.

The pair took several paces back, lifting their heads up as they observed the seemingly taunting tree.

Woman: Umm… I don’t suppose you’re super-good at jumpin’. Huh, Wolfy?

Alex: Humm… I don’t thinks my legs are long enough, Sprinkles.

He paused from staring up at the hat to look at the woman who was still staring upwards. Her bottom lip was puffed out as her small nose was scrunched. Alex did not know why, but he thought her pouty expressions were really amusing.

He tapped a white claw to his head a few times, his eyes tightly closed with his fangs clenched. The young woman took a quick glimpse of him and held in a giggle from the wolf’s powerful thinking face.

And before she was going to ask him if his head hurt again, he opened his eyes, snapping his claws.

Alex: (Grins) Huh-Huh! I knows how ta get your hat back, Sprinkles!

Woman: (Grins back) How, Wolfy?

Alex: Welp, I knows I ain’t super-good at jumpin’. But I sure knows dat I’m super-good at puffin’!

Woman: (Blinks) Umm… ‘K?

With his balled up paws at his sides, Alex moved several steps away from the tree. He then motioned a paw behind his back.

Alex: Get behind me, Sprinkles!

Without a word, the shrugging woman did as her companion said. She did not have a single clue to what was going on. But this accent-talking wolf seemed positive of whatever he was going to do, was going to get her pretty bonnet back.

And she REALLY wanted it back!

Folding her hands, she watched hopefully as the wolf took a large inhale of air.

Woman: (Whispering) Please let this work!

Alex: (Mumbling) Please let dis woik!

The dark brown wolf let out a long gust of air, rattling all the fir’s flimsy branches. The woman was amazed at how one wolf could make such a towering tree look like it was engulfed in a hurricane.

After the gust had finally stopped. Alex panted and looked up to see the hat… was still clung in the same place. The tree’s limbs were thin, and some had broken from that the wolf’s powerful lungs, but the hat was so high up and was wedged in over several stubborn branches.

He turned to see the woman. Her hands were still folded to her dress’s bosom. Alex’s muzzle made a small grin at her little pout. It really did just make her look adorably silly.

After sighing and looking upwards at no one in particular, the wolf inhaled a bigger and deeper breath then before, and held it steady for a moment.

Alex: (Thinking) Whud a guy will do for a dame- I mean… ta gets some eats!

He let out all the air he could hold in one long gust. The tree was actually slanted back and the woman wondered if its roots would be lifted out of the ground.

When the powerful breath finally ended, the weary wolf felt himself tumbling over. However, he suddenly stopped moving. That was odd? Should not his face been planted into the grass by now?

When he opened his eyes, he saw the young woman was holding onto his side to help him keep his balance.

Woman: Are ya okay, Wolfy?

With raised eyebrows, Alex stared in curious silence. Since he had met this dame, touching a wolf was not causing her to wince. Now, she was worried about him falling? He guessed he was really good at portraying himself as being nice.

Woman: That musta took a lot of air out of ya.

After he caught up to his panting, the wolf grinned at the woman’s silly pun.

Alex: (Tired) Huh… hah… Yeah, huffin’ and puffin’ always leaves me feelin’ winded…

The woman giggled at his answer and allowed the wolf to steady himself. He wiped his brow and stared up at the tree… and the hat was still hanging. He covered his face harshly.

Alex: Ugh! Dat is one stuck-up hat! After all dat woik..!

Woman: Wolfy, look!

Alex did as the woman’s pointing finger suggested, and he squint his eyes to see the hat HAD move from his puffing. It was dangling by its ribbon and before the two of them could blink, the fancy attire was free.

Stunned, Alex blinked quickly as the hat lightly made its way to the ground.

Alex: …It woiked?

Woman: Yippie!

Alex watched the joyful woman running to collect her elusive bonnet and a huge grin spread up his muzzle and to his cheek ruffs.

Alex: It WOIKED! It woiked! Woiked! Woiked~!

With the hat securely in her brown backpack, the young woman turned around to find the much-recovered wolf, bouncing and singing; his paws way up in the air. What he was doing looked so childish…

And fun!

She trotted over to him, still happy about her new hat being returned.

Woman: (Happily) You did it! You did it! You did it~!

Alex: (Happily) Huh-hah! Huh-hah! Huh-huh~!

And holding paws and hands the pair spun in a circle. Giggling and humming over the wolf’s accomplishment.

Childlike indeed. Now all that is needed for these two to do now, is to start singing ring around the rosy.

After the celebration, the two stopped spinning and both took back their paws and hands.

Woman: (Grins sheepishly) Oopsie. Sorry, Wolfy. Guess I’ve gotten kinda carried away, there.

The dark brown wolf rubbed the back of his head and chuckled in agreement, but then, blinked once.

Alex: I thought your hat was carried away?

Woman: (Grins) He-he! Good one, Wolfy.

The baffled wolf put his claw to his muzzle but thanks to the woman giving him a few seconds without saying how dumb he was…

Alex: Hey, it was pretty darn funny! Huh-hah!

Woman: (Grins) I’m so lucky to have run into ya and- Oh! Wait a minute!

Alex slanted his head as the tall woman hastily dropped to her knees. Before he could ask if her legs had broken from all the hopping, the scent of food wafted his black nose. His tongue lolled out to the side of his yellow muzzle.

Alex: (Thinking) Dat’s right! I gots so darn excited about doin’ somethin’ right, I forgots all about my reward!

The woman pulled out three apple muffins from her leather knapsack. She held them up for the wolf who quickly had them in his mouth before she knew he even took them from her hands.

Woman: I wish I could give ya more for helpin’ me deal with this wacky woods tryin’ to eat my hat. But it’s all I’ve got left with me.

Alex happily hummed and munched on the soft fruited-filled muffins and licked his black whiskers.

Alex: ‘Dey were da best muffins I ever had!

The woman’s thin eyebrows rose up.

Woman: Really?

Alex: Really! ‘Cause ‘dey were the only ones dat-!

Woman: (Interrupts) They were the only muffins you’ll ever eat? Oh, that makes me so proud, Wolfy!

The wolf’s black eyebrows went up, as well, but for a different reason.

Alex: Huh?

Woman: My family always said that I put too much cinnamon in my muffins. (Scoffs) But cinnamon tastes great! Don’t’cha agree, Wolfy? (Smiles)

And at this moment, Alex wondered if this is how his brothers felt when he himself, did not fully understand what they said to him.

The wolf was going to explain that he meant those muffins were not the only ones he would eat, but they were the only muffins he had ever eaten. However, when he saw the smiling dame’s big eyes shimmering hopefully, Alex sighed, and so for her… he nodded.

Alex: Huh-hah… Yeah… I agree with’cha, Sprinkles.

Still wanting to thank her new friend for his help, the grateful woman peered her head into her backpack to see if there was anything else she could offer him. It had to be food, of course. After all, there was no better way to say thanks than the munchies.

Woman: Oh! I forgot there’s an apple in here!

Alex licked his muzzle in anticipation as she lifted her pack upside down and the fruit came dropping and rolling out. But when the young woman picked it up, she frowned from the sight of it.

Woman: Oh, applesauce! It musta got all bruised up when I tripped earlier!

Alex: Ya mean when ya bumped inta me?

With a small pout, the woman glanced sideways.

Woman: Umm… yeah, includin’ that time, too.

Alex: (Shrugs) Welp, a little soft fruit won’t hurt me! ‘Cause I’ve been told my head is pretty darn solid!

The dark brown wolf knocked on the top of his head, and a few thud sounds followed by a little echo was heard, making him blink widely.

The young woman giggled as she stood back up. And after squeezing the apple in her hand, she shook her head curtly.

Woman: It’s still firm, but the skin broke on it and… (Blinks) …I think a worm got into it, too! Ew!

With disgust, she stretched her arm ahead of her, making sure the wormy apple was far away from her face as possible.

Woman: Yuck! Would it be okay if I baked ya somethin’ else to eat, Wolfy?

The wolf panted with a large grin. This would be way better than a bad apple, any day! And he could bring a little something back for his brothers to prove his badness with getting away this heroic scheme thing, too!

Alex nodded readily.

Alex: (Happily) I’d feel pretty good about dat!

The woman nodded, then her open-mouth grin took up most of her face.

Woman: Hey, Wolfy, lem’me show ya my good right arm!

Alex: (Tilts his head) Your whu-? Whoa!

The tall woman had reared back and threw the soiled apple overhead. The flung fruit looked like a red blur when it streaked through the air. Surprisingly, this did not surprise Alex; since this dame was able to hold up his weight when he was catching his breath.

Alex: (Thinkin) What a throw! Humm… Maybe dis whole damsel in distress deal, ain’t really so real?

The pair craned their heads upwards even more as they watched the red dot get smaller and smaller, until a little white star shimmered in its place.

Alex: (Faces the woman) Wow! I’d say dat’s more likes a big bad right arm ya gots there, Sprinkles!

The grinning woman proudly puffed out her dress’s bosom at the wolf’s observation.

Alex returned staring in the direction of the throw. He waited to hear a VERY distinct impact of the apple’s landing…

Nothing.

Alex: So… Uh… is dis da farthest ya threw anythin’?

The woman also resumed looking up.

Woman: (Shrugs) I dunno. I’ve never found the stuff that I’ve chucked.

In unison, they put their hand and paw above their squinting eyes.

Alex: Humm… I wonders if it’ll reach da next county..?

***

In upstate New York, a pig in suspenders was lying face up on the ground. His eyes were swirling, and he was sporting a large lump where his red cap once was.

The young pig was beside his groaning brother, whose straw hat fell off after he also had fallen. Their floppy eared brother rushed over to his dropped siblings.

Moe: Hey, what in the world happened to you, guys?!

Manny: Something hit Jack square in the snout and then, he rammed right into me! Ugh… my head!

Moe: Oh, that’s too bad. You guys oughtta watch where you’re going! Jack..? Are you okay?

Jack: (Eyes still spinning) Uhh… did any-pig get the name of that speeding brick..? Uugghh…

Moe: Brick? Ya mean this..? (Picks it up) Yum, it’s an apple! Boy! (Takes a bite) And look, it’s got a prize in the center… Eww! That’s… that’s NOT a prize!

Grossed out by the wiggling prize, Moe toppled back… right on top of his groaning brothers.

***

After concluding the apple’s flight would forever remain a mystery, the woman secured her knapsack to her back once again, and fiddled her dainty thumbs.

Woman: Wolfy? Are you… Umm… lost?

Looking shocked, the wolf put a paw over his furry yellow chest and scoffed.

Alex: Me? Lost? Huh-hah! I ain’t lost! I never gets lost! I…

His unsure sights went everywhere at everything.

…I just don’t knows where anythin’ is, dat’s all…

The young woman nodded while her eyes unknowingly scanned around herself.

Woman: Yip, me neither. It ain’t my fault things don’t stop bein’ different!

Alex: Humm, can’t disagree with dat, Sprinkles.

Woman: (Sighs) But I really do need to get back home. I know it’s north eastwards, for sure, and I swear I recognized this darn trail. But, for Perrault’s sake, this trail keeps changin’ its directions on me!

Both annoyed at this huge hoodwinking forest, the two folded their arms, frowning and pouting.

Alex: Don’t’cha hates it when everythin’ doesn’t knows where it’s supposed ta go?

Woman: I know! It’s so-!

Wolfy & Sprinkles: Frustratin’!

Both blinked at the combined sentence and their grumpy scoffs became grins and giggles.

Alex: (Snaps his claws) Hey, Sprinkles, whud if we walk together… y’know, ‘til we knows when everythin’ knows where it’s supposed ta go?

The woman raised her eyebrows and scrunched her lips to the side at that suggestion.

Woman: (Firmly) Wolfy… that’s a…

The dark brown wolf folded his ears and sagged his shoulders expectedly.

Alex: (Interjects) I know… It’s a stup-

Woman: (Interjects) …stupendous idea! (Grins)

Alex’s head and ears perked up while a grin reached his muzzle. His dark brown, busy tail wagged excitedly. He was so proud to come up with another great- …Stupendous idea!

The two companions cautiously moved along the forest trail, side by side. The soaring trees seemed to be closing in, and then…

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Wolfy & Sprinkles: AHH!

…an owl had suddenly swooshed right by the startled pair, causing them to quickly go back to back.

Alex: Uh… just lettin’ ya know, Sprinkles, I wasn’t afraid. Dat darn bird just distracted me!

Woman: ME! Ahem… me neither, Wolfy. That wacky owl didn’t scare me! He just wants us to turn back and make these wacky woods more confusin’ on itself!

Alex: Hmph! We’ll show ‘im! Let’s stick together, Sprinkles. So dis darn forest don’t makes us lost, too!

Woman: Hmph! That wacky owl ain’t as assured as us!

Clasping paw and hand, the two ventured forth, deeper along the thin trail. With a serious look about him, Alex scanned the forest’s horizon with a paw above his narrowed eyes, while the young woman firmly tapped her pouting chin, looking absolutely everywhere.

Woman: Umm… Didn’t we just go pass this tree with the knot in it? Oh, don’t bump into it, Wolfy!

Alex: Whew! Thanks for da warnin’! Humm, ya sure-? Hey, watch out, Sprinkles. Da root almost grabbed your boot!

Woman: Oh, good call… and rhyme, Wolfy! Umm… (Stares at the tree) No… I’m not sure…

Meanwhile, the ‘wacky’ owl, perched on the mentioned maple tree, was observing the proud but uncertain pair making their way onwards into the dense woods.

Alex: Hey, we’re goin’ da right ways. See! (Points to the trees) Da moss is growin’ Northside!

Woman: K’! Northside it is! …Umm… our north side or the trees’?

Alex: …There’s more than one side?

The pitying owl clicked his beak several times.

Owl: My… Those two are confused.

Woman: Well, everythin’ has two sides, right?

Alex: Ya wanna turn right, twice?

Woman: That’s sounds… right… Since two rights don’t make a wrong. Right?

Alex: Right! Uh… my right or yours?

After watching the wandering duo… wander off, the brown-dusted bird closed his large yellow eyes, slowly shaking his head.

Owl: So confused. Cute, but so confused, indeed.