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Breaking the Fourth Wall

'KER-BAM!'

The loud sound of a kick colliding with a face echoed proudly.

'WHAM!'

Followed a strong elbow to the jaw from the opposite end.

The sounds of two men battling continued on and on. One, wearing a black hat, a pair of glasses, as well as a wife beater, a red tie, black jacket, pants and shoes; the other – a pair of glasses as well, while dressed in a long sleeved white shirt, wearing light colored pants.

These two swung their fists, delivered powerful blows towards one another. They were headlocking each other, delivering noogies and kicks that could make Jackie Chan proud; sword fights with lightsabers and an dramatic kick by the man wearing white that sent the other across the room and into a number of boxes.

"Fuck!" the man in black clothing cussed as he tried to stand up. "I knew I shouldn't stack all those boxes in the basement where this dramatic fight was to happen!"

The other grinned, grabbing a pencil from the pocket on his shirt. "Face it Critic, seeing my awesome boxes from last time drove you jealous enough to stack your own boxes in your basement!" the Nerd uttered with a victorious glee in his eye.

The Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd. Two reviewers – one of crappy movies and another of horrible games. Though these two rivals had settled their differences during the massive battle not too long ago, they couldn't help but battle one another once again. They felt like fighting each other was their destiny and birth right, much like a Saiyan's is. Except that they were ordinary humans. Well, ordinary humans with high tolerance for crappy things they review, as well as great special effects, but ordinary humans non the less.

The Critic stood up finally and tossed a box right in the Nerd's face, making the gamer back away, shaking with his head. "Asshole!" the Nerd yelled as he ran towards the Critic. The Critic panicked, noticing the intensity in the Nerd's eyes. He looked around himself with a speed that could make the Flash stare (thanks to the amazing fast forward of the camera) and noticed something he apparently liked. With a smirk he grabbed a conveniently placed boxing glove and put it on his right hand.

As the Nerd leaped at him, the Critic swung his fist at him, chanting out: "I AM A MAN!" The punch missed, though and the Nerd landed on the Critic, thus both guys dropped on the ground, the Nerd sitting on the Critic's stomach.

He pulled on the movie reviewer's tie and hissed at him: "What the fuck were you trying to do, assfshit?!" the Nerd cussed, yet again inventing a new cussword.

The Critic waved it off, rolling his eyes and spoke in a bit of a raspy voice: "Well hell, it worked for Linkara." As he said that his eyes opened wide, though. He had realized something, which apparently had something to do with him taking the glove off. "Now the glove's off, hebitch!" the Nostalgia Critic exclaimed and directed his fist at the Nerd's jaw. "I am a MAN!!!"

The impact of the blow sent the Angry Video Game Nerd flying back a few feet, much like in a video on youtube, landing on carpeted ground. The Critic slowly stood up again, dusting himself off.

With a look of confusion the Nerd sat up and stared at the Critic. "What the flying fuck?!"

The Critic chuckled and shook with his head, hands on his hips. "Ahahahaha, it's a common known fact that the "I AM A MAN!" punch only works when not wearing a glove. Flesh on flesh is the answer, fuckmonkey." The Critic replied, ever so "gentleman"-ish.

The Nerd growled and tossed one of his pencils at the Critic, who quickly ducked to avoid it, rising up after that to point out: "Missed me!" Little did he know that the pencil bounced off of the wall behind him, due to it's rubber end, and flew back at him.

The Nerd nipped to his feet and pulled a Ryu like victory pose the moment the Critic yelped like a little girl, post a spanking, when the pencil hit him behind the head. "Never underestimate my pencils, bitchcakes!" The Angry one said with a tone of confidence. Just as he finished, though…

The Critic jumped him, spearing him to the ground. The two proceeded to trade blows, while rolling around on the floor, changing positions and every now and then stopping the fist fight to choke one another for a few moments, muttering incoherently due to the lack of oxygen.

The action on the floor ended the moment that the Nerd started biting on the Critic's nose. The Nostalgic one screamed like a little girl once more and repeated multiple times the line "Not the face! Not the face!" When the Nerd released his grip on the Critic's nose, he followed up with grabbing him by the jacket and standing up, raising him as well.

"Now I'm gonna end this once and for all, monkeyshitfacedfuckbunnydicktardass!" and with that said the Nerd crouched, then leaped in the air, delivering a powerful Shouryuken to the Critic, forcing him to drop down hard on his back, grasping his jaw.

"Ow! That hurts!" the Critic whined, while trying to stand up. The Nerd would have none of that, though, as he put a foot on the Critic's stomach, keeping him from trying to rise up again. The two stared at one another, having one long and intense stare. Then, out of nowhere, the Nerd pulled out his trusty katana sword and raised it up in the air, while still glaring at the Critic, who got pale in the face. "Wait, is that-"

The Nerd cut him off, nodding slowly three times. "Yes. It's the very same sword of Legend, Critic. The same sword with which I cut to pieces that ABOMINATION, known as "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III"." The Nerd spoke with great intensity shown on his face. Veins were showing on the sides of his neck, his face bloody red out of rage. The very thought of that horrible movie made him this angry.

"But-" the Critic tried to speak, though the Nerd's foot was keeping him from really speaking what he wanted to say. "You wouldn't kill your own-"

The Nerd cut him off again. "Not gonna fall for it a second time, dickcheese." He replied and clenched his sword tight, ready to have his way with the Critic's head.

Shivering of fear, the Critic put his hands together and (much in an Loony Toons character fashion), quickly began speaking a prayer, while looking to the ceiling. He prayed and prayed, hoping for someone to save him from this peril.

As if on cue, just as the Nerd was about to stab the Critic in the head, a hand clasped the Nerd's wrist, re-directing the katana a bit higher up and thus what was stabbed was the Critic's hat. The Critic screamed again, while the Nerd stared at the one that stopped him from vanquishing his greatest foe.

Both reviewers were flabbergasted as they recognized the man. Wearing his signature stylish hat, dressed in a long sleeved gray shirt and wearing green camo pants and white sneakers, the cheery figure waved with his free hand at the Nerd. "Hi AVGN!" he exclaimed joyfully, then turned to the Nostalgia Critic. "Hi ya NC. Looks like I got here on time."

"SAGE?!" The two men said out loud at the same time. Honestly this was a surprise. The man behind "Fanfic Theatre" had appeared out of nowhere and just rescued the Critic. The question was "Why?" and another question too…

"What the hell are you doing in my house?!" the Critic asked, raising a brow. "Granted, I do appreciate you coming to my rescue, but," he paused and nodded towards the Nerd. "I only recall sending a Critic note only to the cummongler over here." He said in a demeaning voice.

The Nerd stomped on his chest and the Critic grunted, then put a hand on his mouth.

Sage let go of the Nerd's hand and then answered: "Well, it's simple. My Bad Fanfiction senses tingled and, like the Friendly Neighborhood Sage that I am, I felt it was my duty to come here and save you two from killing each other." Was his answer. At that moment the three could swear that they heard the classic Spiderman theme play loudly over their heads.

After a second or two the Critic shook with his head. "Wait, what?"

The Nerd stared. "You sensed a bad fanfic?! But we're fighting here! This isn't no fanfic!" he yelled and turned back to the Critic. He prepared to again try and stab him. That idea was stopped, though, the moment the Sage again grabbed the Nerd to restrain him.

"Easy, easy. I have an explanation." He took a deep breath, sighed and of course – explained: "You two are in a bad fanfic."

Both men stared, once again, flabbergasted. "What?!"

Sage nodded. "Why yes. In fact, the person is preparing to write your demise in a matter of moments."

The Critic flailed with his arms, still restrained to the ground. "But how?! Why?! Who?! When?!"

The Nerd nodded and added: "I think what my esteemed dumbfounded asshat of a colleague is trying to say is: "Who and why is doing this?!"

The Sage nodded. "I thought you two would ask me such a thing, so I came prepared." He put his hand in one of his pockets and rummaged about, while the two other reviewers were repeating the word "prepared", confused as to what he could have with him that could help them out. The answer came as the Sage pulled the contents of his pocket out.

He held a small device, which resembled a pager. "This is my first, state of the art "Writer Teleporter"!" He exclaimed, raising the device over his head and laughed maniacally, resembling for a moment Doctor Insano, lightning cracking behind him.

The Critic and the Nerd both gave him skeptic looks, not that impressed with his performance. "Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiight." The Critic said dismissively, while the Nerd rolled his eyes and shook with his head.

"What? I'm serious!" the Sage replied and pointed at the red button in the center of the device. "With this button here I can teleport the writer of the fic here, where we can question him and stuff!" he added and pressed the button. "I'll show you."

When the button was pressed a bright light came to be, right between the Nerd and the Critic by the way. The Nerd covered his eyes and backed away, cussing every filthy word he could think of, while the Critic crawled back, exclaiming: "The LIIIIIIGHT! Don't look at the LIIIIIIIGHT!!!"

The Sage just put on a pair of sunglasses and folded his arms, watching patiently as the light spread and shone brighter for a while, until it began to return back and shape into the form of a human. As it faded, someone new stood before the three men. Sage smirked and petted his device. "Hell yeah, baby. Hell yeah." after which he put it in his pocket.

The Critic and Nerd looked in disbelief at the one that stood before them.

"Oh My GOD IT's… it's…" the Critic stuttered, then had a look of lack of knowledge appear. Neither he, nor the nerd had seen the man, nor could they recognize him by any of his features. "I don't know who this guy is."

The Nerd shook with his head. "Never seen the fucker in my life."

The man managed to form a slight grin and scratched the back of his head. He wore a dark purple shirt with a coffee insignia on the front, black sweatpants, black sneakers and a black beanie hat on his head with a red logo on the front. "Uhm… hi?" he managed to say as he laughed a bit awkwardly.

The Sage gestured at him and with a easy going tone in his voice spoke up: "Gentlemen, I give you -," dramatic pause, "the culprit behind the attempted M.B.F. (Murder by fanfic)."

The new face gulped lightly as he felt the Nerd grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him in for a deadly glare. "Who the fuck are you and why do you want me and the Critic dead, assspice?!" he growled.

"Yeah!" the Critic added from behind the two.

"Tell me now or I'm going to pull your heart out of your ass and stuff it down your throat!" the Nerd added, pretty much quoting from the movie "Barbwire", obviously having seen the NC's review on it.

The NC again added: "Yeah!"

Sage just watched with an amused look on his face.

"I have many names. Emil! Burori1! Bielzibob!!!" the guy spoke, exclaiming in the end, obviously. "But you can call me Kaiju-Z." the culprit introduced himself matter of factly.

"Why did you want to kill us, I said!" the Nerd repeated himself, shaking the man, glaring into his dark brown eyes.

The writer laughed awkwardly again.

The Critic repeated once more: "Yea-" but was cut off when the Nerd threw his katana at him, the sound of a slice following up. "Oh god it hurts! Get it out of me!!!" the Critic yelled, to which the Sage proceeded to help him.

"We-well…" Kaiju-Z started out. "I wasn't really trying to kill you guys off as much…" he paused and turned to Sage, who was resting the katana on his shoulder like an anime sword master. "… as much as I wanted to appear on the Sage's show." he admitted with a guilty smile.

The Critic, who magically had bandages wrapped around his head now, stared in disbelief. "What?! You did this for fame on Sage's show?!" he spoke with an insulted tone in his voice. "But I am the main star on ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com!!! That's not fair!"

The Sage chuckled lightly, while the Nerd rolled his eyes.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeah…" Kaiju-Z nodded to that statement. "But the thing is, I'll sooner have a fanfic reviewed on the site than a movie, because I don't have the skills for the latter."

The Critic blinked. "Oh." He looked bout, not really knowing what to say. The Sage just smiled happily, knowing that he was very important at this very moment. The Nerd just continued to stare, breathing heavily.

"Fuck! I don't know what to reply to that!" The Nerd shouted, furrowing his brow.

Kaiju-Z raised a hand. "I was frozen today?"

The Nerd and the Critic shrugged. "Eh, that works." they said at the same time, after which the Critic joined the Nerd by grabbing Kaiju-Z by the collar and each then raised a fist, ready to deliver a strong blow.

"WAIT!" Kaiju-Z exclaimed with eyes opened wide.

"What?!" The two reviewers asked, annoyed.

Sage blinked as he noticed Kaiju-Z giving him a pleading look. He just shook with his head.

Kaiju-Z turned to the two again and added: "You wouldn't hurt your second cousin on your mothers' sides, twice removed, would you?!"

The NC and the AVGN looked at one another, then back at the guy they held and sadistically grinned.

'Fuck me…' Kaiju-Z thought to himself as two fists flew towards his face simultaneously.

And what happened then?

They all lived happily ever after of course!

The Sage returned to his show and reviewed this fanfic, which gained him international fame and he came to be known as a hero to the masses;
The Nerd went back to his shitty game bashing and released his own album with great songs such as "Assmonkey fucked my neighbor";
The Critic bought his own state and became the Grand Pooba!

And what of the man that could make this all happen?
Well, some say he died a horrible cancer death. Others, on the other hand, say he got sentenced to a life long stay on deviantart, having to post stories and pictures on a daily basis. May his soul rest in peace…

The End

:D (Big Grin) — Description
Breaking the Fourth Wall

'KER-BAM!'

The loud sound of a kick colliding with a face echoed proudly.

'WHAM!'

Followed a strong elbow to the jaw from the opposite end.

The sounds of two men battling continued on and on. One, wearing a black hat, a pair of glasses, as well as a wife beater, a red tie, black jacket, pants and shoes; the other – a pair of glasses as well, while dressed in a long sleeved white shirt, wearing light colored pants.

These two swung their fists, delivered powerful blows towards one another. They were headlocking each other, delivering noogies and kicks that could make Jackie Chan proud; sword fights with lightsabers and an dramatic kick by the man wearing white that sent the other across the room and into a number of boxes.

"Fuck!" the man in black clothing cussed as he tried to stand up. "I knew I shouldn't stack all those boxes in the basement where this dramatic fight was to happen!"

The other grinned, grabbing a pencil from the pocket on his shirt. "Face it Critic, seeing my awesome boxes from last time drove you jealous enough to stack your own boxes in your basement!" the Nerd uttered with a victorious glee in his eye.

The Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd. Two reviewers – one of crappy movies and another of horrible games. Though these two rivals had settled their differences during the massive battle not too long ago, they couldn't help but battle one another once again. They felt like fighting each other was their destiny and birth right, much like a Saiyan's is. Except that they were ordinary humans. Well, ordinary humans with high tolerance for crappy things they review, as well as great special effects, but ordinary humans non the less.

The Critic stood up finally and tossed a box right in the Nerd's face, making the gamer back away, shaking with his head. "Asshole!" the Nerd yelled as he ran towards the Critic. The Critic panicked, noticing the intensity in the Nerd's eyes. He looked around himself with a speed that could make the Flash stare (thanks to the amazing fast forward of the camera) and noticed something he apparently liked. With a smirk he grabbed a conveniently placed boxing glove and put it on his right hand.

As the Nerd leaped at him, the Critic swung his fist at him, chanting out: "I AM A MAN!" The punch missed, though and the Nerd landed on the Critic, thus both guys dropped on the ground, the Nerd sitting on the Critic's stomach.

He pulled on the movie reviewer's tie and hissed at him: "What the fuck were you trying to do, assfshit?!" the Nerd cussed, yet again inventing a new cussword.

The Critic waved it off, rolling his eyes and spoke in a bit of a raspy voice: "Well hell, it worked for Linkara." As he said that his eyes opened wide, though. He had realized something, which apparently had something to do with him taking the glove off. "Now the glove's off, hebitch!" the Nostalgia Critic exclaimed and directed his fist at the Nerd's jaw. "I am a MAN!!!"

The impact of the blow sent the Angry Video Game Nerd flying back a few feet, much like in a video on youtube, landing on carpeted ground. The Critic slowly stood up again, dusting himself off.

With a look of confusion the Nerd sat up and stared at the Critic. "What the flying fuck?!"

The Critic chuckled and shook with his head, hands on his hips. "Ahahahaha, it's a common known fact that the "I AM A MAN!" punch only works when not wearing a glove. Flesh on flesh is the answer, fuckmonkey." The Critic replied, ever so "gentleman"-ish.

The Nerd growled and tossed one of his pencils at the Critic, who quickly ducked to avoid it, rising up after that to point out: "Missed me!" Little did he know that the pencil bounced off of the wall behind him, due to it's rubber end, and flew back at him.

The Nerd nipped to his feet and pulled a Ryu like victory pose the moment the Critic yelped like a little girl, post a spanking, when the pencil hit him behind the head. "Never underestimate my pencils, bitchcakes!" The Angry one said with a tone of confidence. Just as he finished, though…

The Critic jumped him, spearing him to the ground. The two proceeded to trade blows, while rolling around on the floor, changing positions and every now and then stopping the fist fight to choke one another for a few moments, muttering incoherently due to the lack of oxygen.

The action on the floor ended the moment that the Nerd started biting on the Critic's nose. The Nostalgic one screamed like a little girl once more and repeated multiple times the line "Not the face! Not the face!" When the Nerd released his grip on the Critic's nose, he followed up with grabbing him by the jacket and standing up, raising him as well.

"Now I'm gonna end this once and for all, monkeyshitfacedfuckbunnydicktardass!" and with that said the Nerd crouched, then leaped in the air, delivering a powerful Shouryuken to the Critic, forcing him to drop down hard on his back, grasping his jaw.

"Ow! That hurts!" the Critic whined, while trying to stand up. The Nerd would have none of that, though, as he put a foot on the Critic's stomach, keeping him from trying to rise up again. The two stared at one another, having one long and intense stare. Then, out of nowhere, the Nerd pulled out his trusty katana sword and raised it up in the air, while still glaring at the Critic, who got pale in the face. "Wait, is that-"

The Nerd cut him off, nodding slowly three times. "Yes. It's the very same sword of Legend, Critic. The same sword with which I cut to pieces that ABOMINATION, known as "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III"." The Nerd spoke with great intensity shown on his face. Veins were showing on the sides of his neck, his face bloody red out of rage. The very thought of that horrible movie made him this angry.

"But-" the Critic tried to speak, though the Nerd's foot was keeping him from really speaking what he wanted to say. "You wouldn't kill your own-"

The Nerd cut him off again. "Not gonna fall for it a second time, dickcheese." He replied and clenched his sword tight, ready to have his way with the Critic's head.

Shivering of fear, the Critic put his hands together and (much in an Loony Toons character fashion), quickly began speaking a prayer, while looking to the ceiling. He prayed and prayed, hoping for someone to save him from this peril.

As if on cue, just as the Nerd was about to stab the Critic in the head, a hand clasped the Nerd's wrist, re-directing the katana a bit higher up and thus what was stabbed was the Critic's hat. The Critic screamed again, while the Nerd stared at the one that stopped him from vanquishing his greatest foe.

Both reviewers were flabbergasted as they recognized the man. Wearing his signature stylish hat, dressed in a long sleeved gray shirt and wearing green camo pants and white sneakers, the cheery figure waved with his free hand at the Nerd. "Hi AVGN!" he exclaimed joyfully, then turned to the Nostalgia Critic. "Hi ya NC. Looks like I got here on time."

"SAGE?!" The two men said out loud at the same time. Honestly this was a surprise. The man behind "Fanfic Theatre" had appeared out of nowhere and just rescued the Critic. The question was "Why?" and another question too…

"What the hell are you doing in my house?!" the Critic asked, raising a brow. "Granted, I do appreciate you coming to my rescue, but," he paused and nodded towards the Nerd. "I only recall sending a Critic note only to the cummongler over here." He said in a demeaning voice.

The Nerd stomped on his chest and the Critic grunted, then put a hand on his mouth.

Sage let go of the Nerd's hand and then answered: "Well, it's simple. My Bad Fanfiction senses tingled and, like the Friendly Neighborhood Sage that I am, I felt it was my duty to come here and save you two from killing each other." Was his answer. At that moment the three could swear that they heard the classic Spiderman theme play loudly over their heads.

After a second or two the Critic shook with his head. "Wait, what?"

The Nerd stared. "You sensed a bad fanfic?! But we're fighting here! This isn't no fanfic!" he yelled and turned back to the Critic. He prepared to again try and stab him. That idea was stopped, though, the moment the Sage again grabbed the Nerd to restrain him.

"Easy, easy. I have an explanation." He took a deep breath, sighed and of course – explained: "You two are in a bad fanfic."

Both men stared, once again, flabbergasted. "What?!"

Sage nodded. "Why yes. In fact, the person is preparing to write your demise in a matter of moments."

The Critic flailed with his arms, still restrained to the ground. "But how?! Why?! Who?! When?!"

The Nerd nodded and added: "I think what my esteemed dumbfounded asshat of a colleague is trying to say is: "Who and why is doing this?!"

The Sage nodded. "I thought you two would ask me such a thing, so I came prepared." He put his hand in one of his pockets and rummaged about, while the two other reviewers were repeating the word "prepared", confused as to what he could have with him that could help them out. The answer came as the Sage pulled the contents of his pocket out.

He held a small device, which resembled a pager. "This is my first, state of the art "Writer Teleporter"!" He exclaimed, raising the device over his head and laughed maniacally, resembling for a moment Doctor Insano, lightning cracking behind him.

The Critic and the Nerd both gave him skeptic looks, not that impressed with his performance. "Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiight." The Critic said dismissively, while the Nerd rolled his eyes and shook with his head.

"What? I'm serious!" the Sage replied and pointed at the red button in the center of the device. "With this button here I can teleport the writer of the fic here, where we can question him and stuff!" he added and pressed the button. "I'll show you."

When the button was pressed a bright light came to be, right between the Nerd and the Critic by the way. The Nerd covered his eyes and backed away, cussing every filthy word he could think of, while the Critic crawled back, exclaiming: "The LIIIIIIGHT! Don't look at the LIIIIIIIGHT!!!"

The Sage just put on a pair of sunglasses and folded his arms, watching patiently as the light spread and shone brighter for a while, until it began to return back and shape into the form of a human. As it faded, someone new stood before the three men. Sage smirked and petted his device. "Hell yeah, baby. Hell yeah." after which he put it in his pocket.

The Critic and Nerd looked in disbelief at the one that stood before them.

"Oh My GOD IT's… it's…" the Critic stuttered, then had a look of lack of knowledge appear. Neither he, nor the nerd had seen the man, nor could they recognize him by any of his features. "I don't know who this guy is."

The Nerd shook with his head. "Never seen the fucker in my life."

The man managed to form a slight grin and scratched the back of his head. He wore a dark purple shirt with a coffee insignia on the front, black sweatpants, black sneakers and a black beanie hat on his head with a red logo on the front. "Uhm… hi?" he managed to say as he laughed a bit awkwardly.

The Sage gestured at him and with a easy going tone in his voice spoke up: "Gentlemen, I give you -," dramatic pause, "the culprit behind the attempted M.B.F. (Murder by fanfic)."

The new face gulped lightly as he felt the Nerd grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him in for a deadly glare. "Who the fuck are you and why do you want me and the Critic dead, assspice?!" he growled.

"Yeah!" the Critic added from behind the two.

"Tell me now or I'm going to pull your heart out of your ass and stuff it down your throat!" the Nerd added, pretty much quoting from the movie "Barbwire", obviously having seen the NC's review on it.

The NC again added: "Yeah!"

Sage just watched with an amused look on his face.

"I have many names. Emil! Burori1! Bielzibob!!!" the guy spoke, exclaiming in the end, obviously. "But you can call me Kaiju-Z." the culprit introduced himself matter of factly.

"Why did you want to kill us, I said!" the Nerd repeated himself, shaking the man, glaring into his dark brown eyes.

The writer laughed awkwardly again.

The Critic repeated once more: "Yea-" but was cut off when the Nerd threw his katana at him, the sound of a slice following up. "Oh god it hurts! Get it out of me!!!" the Critic yelled, to which the Sage proceeded to help him.

"We-well…" Kaiju-Z started out. "I wasn't really trying to kill you guys off as much…" he paused and turned to Sage, who was resting the katana on his shoulder like an anime sword master. "… as much as I wanted to appear on the Sage's show." he admitted with a guilty smile.

The Critic, who magically had bandages wrapped around his head now, stared in disbelief. "What?! You did this for fame on Sage's show?!" he spoke with an insulted tone in his voice. "But I am the main star on ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com!!! That's not fair!"

The Sage chuckled lightly, while the Nerd rolled his eyes.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeah…" Kaiju-Z nodded to that statement. "But the thing is, I'll sooner have a fanfic reviewed on the site than a movie, because I don't have the skills for the latter."

The Critic blinked. "Oh." He looked bout, not really knowing what to say. The Sage just smiled happily, knowing that he was very important at this very moment. The Nerd just continued to stare, breathing heavily.

"Fuck! I don't know what to reply to that!" The Nerd shouted, furrowing his brow.

Kaiju-Z raised a hand. "I was frozen today?"

The Nerd and the Critic shrugged. "Eh, that works." they said at the same time, after which the Critic joined the Nerd by grabbing Kaiju-Z by the collar and each then raised a fist, ready to deliver a strong blow.

"WAIT!" Kaiju-Z exclaimed with eyes opened wide.

"What?!" The two reviewers asked, annoyed.

Sage blinked as he noticed Kaiju-Z giving him a pleading look. He just shook with his head.

Kaiju-Z turned to the two again and added: "You wouldn't hurt your second cousin on your mothers' sides, twice removed, would you?!"

The NC and the AVGN looked at one another, then back at the guy they held and sadistically grinned.

'Fuck me…' Kaiju-Z thought to himself as two fists flew towards his face simultaneously.

And what happened then?

They all lived happily ever after of course!

The Sage returned to his show and reviewed this fanfic, which gained him international fame and he came to be known as a hero to the masses;
The Nerd went back to his shitty game bashing and released his own album with great songs such as "Assmonkey fucked my neighbor";
The Critic bought his own state and became the Grand Pooba!

And what of the man that could make this all happen?
Well, some say he died a horrible cancer death. Others, on the other hand, say he got sentenced to a life long stay on deviantart, having to post stories and pictures on a daily basis. May his soul rest in peace…

The End