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Description
The forces of evil have swept across my planet, I’ve been exiled and fired across the universe in my inter galactic escape pod. There were other planets I was told, close in substance to my home where I might establish a new life, and so that’s how it is. I’m on Earth now, having been guided by its gravity and my pod’s on board computer to a crash landing in a car park somewhere. At least I think that’s what it is.

Before I open my pod I need to know what I’m dealing with here. I need an appearance which won’t frighten the living daylights out of the humans who apparently live on Earth and for that I’ve intercepted their mobile phone signals to find out what they want me to look like.

My computer detected a high volume of communication traffic in several areas of intense electromagnetic density focused on a portal called Eclipse. From this I understand how to adjust my appearance for my desired effect. Later I’ll use my super evolved space intelligence and my special USB fingernail to download anything I need to know in detail from their internet. However for now, my molecular hypermorph belt will generate the me they’ll have to make do with at first.

The initial calculations suggest long slender legs, generous but pert breasts and a cascade of chestnut coloured curls is the body shape and colouring likely to make human males more receptive to negotiation. The shape of my hips is particularly important and it’s best to accentuate rather than hide this in clothing. Eclipse would indicate human males are more of a threat than females in provoking confrontation and so to disable their defensive mechanisms, a tight fitting vest top and small panties will distract them. These will be made of high tech space fabric and be both revealing and robust at the same time. Thigh length boots should accentuate the shape of my legs, an important factor in our discussions. Oh, and I’ll wear my hypermorph belt of course!

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I think “OK, let’s do it.” and release the pod’s security catches. The top slides away and I stand to face my hosts. I’ve caused quite a disturbance! The crashing pod has left a trail of destruction and I can see I’ve broken several cars, the humans are clearly disappointed by this and what looks like military paranoia is surrounding me.

Obviously I can’t speak human, not until I’ve accessed their internet but I realise from their gestures they want me out of the pod. I put my hands on my head, they seem to want that too, and step down the pod’s steps so they can see my new human body. I notice some of the soldiers, I'm sure they are, look over the top of their weapons to take a better look at it. My point exactly!

I expect to be arrested and taken away for interrogation and hope the limitations of our initial communication won’t impair my need to tell them I come in peace, I am not a threat.

In the mean time, some psychotic maniac in an underground laboratory somewhere has gene spliced a monster arachnid with human intelligence, amongst other things, and let it loose to terrorise the city at night. It rapes, pillages and wreaks destruction on the peaceful citizens of the city and nothing so far has been able to stop it.

Once I’ve charmed my interrogators, by playing the helpless and beautiful space damsel in distress, and they’ve allowed me to plug myself in to the internet, they'll realise I can soak up knowledge like a sponge. Soon it'll become apparent that I might hold the key to defeating the monster spider and so the hapless city police will enlist my help in facing it.

We'll figure out that its lair is under an abandoned warehouse complex, an area fallen into decay and ruin in the last economic catastrophe. It will be a perfect setting to trap and abuse a cocky, over confident superheroine!

When I plug myself into the internet, will the spider too be plugged in? Will it know I’m coming, will it be waiting for me?