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Description
I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be at the Today Clinic. I want to be home, but that’s not allowed. I sigh, sinking farther into the wheelchair I’d been doomed to. Yeah, I’m well enough to be moved, just not well enough to move. This sucks. I don’t understand. Why can’t I go home? They couldn’t help me, these people can’t help me, no one can help me. Why can’t I just go home? I want my mom. I want my dad. I want my bed. I want my room. I want…I want home. I hug my old teddy bear closer to my chest. At least I’ve still got Freddy. I’ve always had him.
+++

I hate this place. There are lots of people, people like me, but I don’t want to talk with them. I don’t even want to get near them. They remind me of what I look now. And, that’s not something I really want to think about. I’ve never met anyone who’d want to. It hurts too much to know that we’ll never be quite well enough. Quite normal.
+++

I burrow, creating a nice little cocoon of blankets around me. I can’t see the door and no one at the door can see me. I hold Freddy on my chest, his worn, brown fur against my light blue hospital gown. I sigh, poor little guy lost one of his eyes.
+++

“How’re you settling?” I gnaw on my bottom lip, staring across the room at the man whose hair was on its own trip to becoming grey. He seems nice, but so do they all. They all seem so, so nice. And, they all were…minus that one.

“As fine as can be expected.” I mumble under my breath. He smiles apologetically.

“Well, I suppose that’s as well as it’s going to get, isn’t it?” I turn towards the window. It always looks so pretty outside, even if I’m not allowed out there anymore. I haven’t been for years.

“Yeah.”

“You know, whether you realize it or not, I’m only here to help.” Sure you are.
+++

“Come on, sweetheart. Eat up!” I turn away, staring out into the pretty outside, like I’ve come to find myself doing often lately. There’s a bird today, yellow against the pretty blue sky.

“I can feed myself.”

“Oh, of course you can, sweetheart. But, we’ve got to wait another week until you can. It’s just until you get your strength back up.” I sigh, opening my mouth out towards her, like an obedient little patient. She feeds me, just like a baby. I hate this. I’m not stupid. I’m not a baby. I can do this myself. Why can’t they understand? I don’t want this. This awful pampering. This unnecessary protection. I hate it. I hate it all.
+++

How are you, baby?

“I’m okay.” I’m lying. I hate lying to mommy. But, I can’t. I can’t tell her how much I hate this place. It’d hurt her too much. I don’t want to make her cry.

“That’s great, baby. I have to go now, but I’ll check in later. Bye, baby.”

“Bye.”

“I love you.

“Love you too.”
+++

Don’t touch me.

“What’s with the death glare?” He laughs nervously.

“I can do this myself.”

“Uh, no, actually, you can’t.” Stupid intern. I can too. I can move. I can speak. I can do this. Hey! Don’t pick me up! Put me down! Put me down! I squirm, screaming at him in my head because my vocal cords can’t make such loud sounds yet. “Stop that.” I don’t. I keep moving, squirming. He throws me up; I cling to his neck, terrified that he’s going to drop me, break me. “Why’d you make me do that?” I didn’t make you do anything, my brain screams, frustrated beyond words.

He walks, carrying me in his arms. The halls are light blue, such a creamy light blue. His feet echo off the walls. It’s so strange. Shouldn’t there be more people here? Yes. No. Maybe? No; I’m glad there aren’t. I would hate for people to see me too weak to even get away from this man. He holds me in one arm, and opens a door. He sets me down. We’re in a bathroom. A blue, yellow, and white bathroom. He lifts the hem of my shirt; I kick him in the shin. He grits his teeth, even though we both know that it hurt me more then it did him. He pulls my shirt off in one big swoosh. My arm cracks; I whimper. It hurts. It hurts so, so much. Why must pain follow me? I cradle my arm as he pulls my pants off. I’m not wearing underwear, none of the patients do. He sighs, lifting up my chin. I push it back down. I don’t wan to look at him, not with tears in my eyes. Not with him able to see me. All of me. He groans, picking me up again and setting me in a tub, a shiny, white tub. I watch as the water rises. It’s warm.

He sighs. “Look, kid-”

“Don’t call me kid.”

“Okay, then, well…you know this is my job, right?” Of course, I know that. I’m not stupid. “Let’s just finish this, and-”

“I can do this myself.”

“No, you can’t.” I splash him, looking at him straight on. His hazel eyes widen in shock. He didn’t think I’d be able to do anything. He clenches his jaw, splashing me back, stinging my eyes with water. I couldn’t keep the shock off my face. He actually just did that? He actually just hit me back? My outside scowled, but my inner smiled. He hit back. I splash him again, this time with more force, the water pressure stinging my palm. He repeated my movement, a large spray of water droplets hitting my face point blank. I cough, getting back at him with my force doubled, the water beginning to actually hurt my hands. He groans, returning the favor. I breathe in just as the water hits me, accidentally of course. I cough violently, shaking through my very bones. It hurts. my rib cage vibrates as I hug myself, curling into the tightest ball I can manage. My chest creaks in protest to any movement. A whimper escapes my lips, my breath quickening. Hands grab my sides. They pick me up, cradling my in warmth. I’m cold, so cold. Touch me. Hold me. It’s cold. It’s painful. Help me.
+++

“Here you go, sweetie.” Some lady hands me Freddy. I hold him to my chest, tears streaming down my cheeks. Freddy, Freddy, Freddy, please make this go away. I grit my teeth as the needle pierces my skin, my nails kneading Freddy’s worn fur. Why won’t this just end? Just stop? Everything. I want mommy. I want daddy. I want home.
+++

“How are things, baby?”

“I wanna go home.” I sniffle, mumbling into the pillow, the phone cradled to my ear.

“Now, now, baby. Everything will be okay. Just concentrate on getting better.”

“But, mommy, I-”

“I’ve got to go now. I love you.” The phone clicks. I sigh, holding Freddy out with one hand. I pull him close as the real tears begin to fall.

“I love you too.” I whisper to absolutely no one.
+++

It’s bright. So, so bright as I open my eyes. I yawn. It’s late. Nobody cared enough to wake me up for breakfast, not that I was hungry anyway. I sigh, cradling- wait. Where’s Freddy? I try to sit up, but my arms crumble beneath me. Where’s Freddy? Where’d he go? Did my teddy bear seriously leave me?

“You okay?” I jump, peaking past the covers around me. It’s him again. That stupid intern. “Did you need anything?” I bite my lip as he stands above me. He’s tall. Taller then I’ll ever be. I can’t help but stare. He has long, dark brown hair. It’s pretty like silk. Unconsciously, I reach up and touch it, fingering the strands caught in his ponytail. Startled, I pull away from him. Don’t I hate this guy? Why would I touch somebody that had hurt me? That had looked at me?

“Sorry.” He smiles down at me, lightly ruffling my hair.

“It’s fine. Happens all the time.” I meet his gaze. His eyes are hazel with dark green specks. They’re pretty in their own weird way. “Did you need anything?”

“Umm…have you seen Freddy?”

“Freddy…?”

I turn away, my cheeks burning lightly. “Freddy’s my teddy bear.”

“Oh.” I listen to his steps as he backs away. The rustling of fabric as his knees hit the ground. I should’ve just kept looking for him on my own. After all, what fifteen year old boy carries around a teddy bear? Then again, what fifteen year old boy spends his life going in between hospitals and therapists? “Found him.” I watch as the intern places Freddy in the crook of my elbow, an easy smile planted on his face. “Need anything else?”

“My eye hurts.” He sighs.

“Sorry, but you’re not allowed any more painkillers. You’re already maxed out on them.” I scowl, closing my eyes and snuggling back under the covers. Well, it was worth a shot. “I’ll bring you something to eat, okay?”

“I’m not hungry.” I mumble.

“You’ll eat it anyway.”

“Who says?”

“I do.” I groan. I nearly had an attack in the bath and now he’s going to force feed me? Just great.

“Why?” I squint up at him, that obnoxious light burning my eyes.

“I’m in charge of you now, and nobody’s starving themselves under my charge. Understand?” I sigh, rolling over so I don’t have to face him. “Name’s Ethan Madgett.” I can’t see him, but I can hear the smile in his voice. “See ya in a bit, Matty.” I listen to his footsteps as he leaves, a small smile on my lips. Matty; I like that.

Description
I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be at the Today Clinic. I want to be home, but that’s not allowed. I sigh, sinking farther into the wheelchair I’d been doomed to. Yeah, I’m well enough to be moved, just not well enough to move. This sucks. I don’t understand. Why can’t I go home? They couldn’t help me, these people can’t help me, no one can help me. Why can’t I just go home? I want my mom. I want my dad. I want my bed. I want my room. I want…I want home. I hug my old teddy bear closer to my chest. At least I’ve still got Freddy. I’ve always had him.
+++

I hate this place. There are lots of people, people like me, but I don’t want to talk with them. I don’t even want to get near them. They remind me of what I look now. And, that’s not something I really want to think about. I’ve never met anyone who’d want to. It hurts too much to know that we’ll never be quite well enough. Quite normal.
+++

I burrow, creating a nice little cocoon of blankets around me. I can’t see the door and no one at the door can see me. I hold Freddy on my chest, his worn, brown fur against my light blue hospital gown. I sigh, poor little guy lost one of his eyes.
+++

“How’re you settling?” I gnaw on my bottom lip, staring across the room at the man whose hair was on its own trip to becoming grey. He seems nice, but so do they all. They all seem so, so nice. And, they all were…minus that one.

“As fine as can be expected.” I mumble under my breath. He smiles apologetically.

“Well, I suppose that’s as well as it’s going to get, isn’t it?” I turn towards the window. It always looks so pretty outside, even if I’m not allowed out there anymore. I haven’t been for years.

“Yeah.”

“You know, whether you realize it or not, I’m only here to help.” Sure you are.
+++

“Come on, sweetheart. Eat up!” I turn away, staring out into the pretty outside, like I’ve come to find myself doing often lately. There’s a bird today, yellow against the pretty blue sky.

“I can feed myself.”

“Oh, of course you can, sweetheart. But, we’ve got to wait another week until you can. It’s just until you get your strength back up.” I sigh, opening my mouth out towards her, like an obedient little patient. She feeds me, just like a baby. I hate this. I’m not stupid. I’m not a baby. I can do this myself. Why can’t they understand? I don’t want this. This awful pampering. This unnecessary protection. I hate it. I hate it all.
+++

How are you, baby?

“I’m okay.” I’m lying. I hate lying to mommy. But, I can’t. I can’t tell her how much I hate this place. It’d hurt her too much. I don’t want to make her cry.

“That’s great, baby. I have to go now, but I’ll check in later. Bye, baby.”

“Bye.”

“I love you.

“Love you too.”
+++

Don’t touch me.

“What’s with the death glare?” He laughs nervously.

“I can do this myself.”

“Uh, no, actually, you can’t.” Stupid intern. I can too. I can move. I can speak. I can do this. Hey! Don’t pick me up! Put me down! Put me down! I squirm, screaming at him in my head because my vocal cords can’t make such loud sounds yet. “Stop that.” I don’t. I keep moving, squirming. He throws me up; I cling to his neck, terrified that he’s going to drop me, break me. “Why’d you make me do that?” I didn’t make you do anything, my brain screams, frustrated beyond words.

He walks, carrying me in his arms. The halls are light blue, such a creamy light blue. His feet echo off the walls. It’s so strange. Shouldn’t there be more people here? Yes. No. Maybe? No; I’m glad there aren’t. I would hate for people to see me too weak to even get away from this man. He holds me in one arm, and opens a door. He sets me down. We’re in a bathroom. A blue, yellow, and white bathroom. He lifts the hem of my shirt; I kick him in the shin. He grits his teeth, even though we both know that it hurt me more then it did him. He pulls my shirt off in one big swoosh. My arm cracks; I whimper. It hurts. It hurts so, so much. Why must pain follow me? I cradle my arm as he pulls my pants off. I’m not wearing underwear, none of the patients do. He sighs, lifting up my chin. I push it back down. I don’t wan to look at him, not with tears in my eyes. Not with him able to see me. All of me. He groans, picking me up again and setting me in a tub, a shiny, white tub. I watch as the water rises. It’s warm.

He sighs. “Look, kid-”

“Don’t call me kid.”

“Okay, then, well…you know this is my job, right?” Of course, I know that. I’m not stupid. “Let’s just finish this, and-”

“I can do this myself.”

“No, you can’t.” I splash him, looking at him straight on. His hazel eyes widen in shock. He didn’t think I’d be able to do anything. He clenches his jaw, splashing me back, stinging my eyes with water. I couldn’t keep the shock off my face. He actually just did that? He actually just hit me back? My outside scowled, but my inner smiled. He hit back. I splash him again, this time with more force, the water pressure stinging my palm. He repeated my movement, a large spray of water droplets hitting my face point blank. I cough, getting back at him with my force doubled, the water beginning to actually hurt my hands. He groans, returning the favor. I breathe in just as the water hits me, accidentally of course. I cough violently, shaking through my very bones. It hurts. my rib cage vibrates as I hug myself, curling into the tightest ball I can manage. My chest creaks in protest to any movement. A whimper escapes my lips, my breath quickening. Hands grab my sides. They pick me up, cradling my in warmth. I’m cold, so cold. Touch me. Hold me. It’s cold. It’s painful. Help me.
+++

“Here you go, sweetie.” Some lady hands me Freddy. I hold him to my chest, tears streaming down my cheeks. Freddy, Freddy, Freddy, please make this go away. I grit my teeth as the needle pierces my skin, my nails kneading Freddy’s worn fur. Why won’t this just end? Just stop? Everything. I want mommy. I want daddy. I want home.
+++

“How are things, baby?”

“I wanna go home.” I sniffle, mumbling into the pillow, the phone cradled to my ear.

“Now, now, baby. Everything will be okay. Just concentrate on getting better.”

“But, mommy, I-”

“I’ve got to go now. I love you.” The phone clicks. I sigh, holding Freddy out with one hand. I pull him close as the real tears begin to fall.

“I love you too.” I whisper to absolutely no one.
+++

It’s bright. So, so bright as I open my eyes. I yawn. It’s late. Nobody cared enough to wake me up for breakfast, not that I was hungry anyway. I sigh, cradling- wait. Where’s Freddy? I try to sit up, but my arms crumble beneath me. Where’s Freddy? Where’d he go? Did my teddy bear seriously leave me?

“You okay?” I jump, peaking past the covers around me. It’s him again. That stupid intern. “Did you need anything?” I bite my lip as he stands above me. He’s tall. Taller then I’ll ever be. I can’t help but stare. He has long, dark brown hair. It’s pretty like silk. Unconsciously, I reach up and touch it, fingering the strands caught in his ponytail. Startled, I pull away from him. Don’t I hate this guy? Why would I touch somebody that had hurt me? That had looked at me?

“Sorry.” He smiles down at me, lightly ruffling my hair.

“It’s fine. Happens all the time.” I meet his gaze. His eyes are hazel with dark green specks. They’re pretty in their own weird way. “Did you need anything?”

“Umm…have you seen Freddy?”

“Freddy…?”

I turn away, my cheeks burning lightly. “Freddy’s my teddy bear.”

“Oh.” I listen to his steps as he backs away. The rustling of fabric as his knees hit the ground. I should’ve just kept looking for him on my own. After all, what fifteen year old boy carries around a teddy bear? Then again, what fifteen year old boy spends his life going in between hospitals and therapists? “Found him.” I watch as the intern places Freddy in the crook of my elbow, an easy smile planted on his face. “Need anything else?”

“My eye hurts.” He sighs.

“Sorry, but you’re not allowed any more painkillers. You’re already maxed out on them.” I scowl, closing my eyes and snuggling back under the covers. Well, it was worth a shot. “I’ll bring you something to eat, okay?”

“I’m not hungry.” I mumble.

“You’ll eat it anyway.”

“Who says?”

“I do.” I groan. I nearly had an attack in the bath and now he’s going to force feed me? Just great.

“Why?” I squint up at him, that obnoxious light burning my eyes.

“I’m in charge of you now, and nobody’s starving themselves under my charge. Understand?” I sigh, rolling over so I don’t have to face him. “Name’s Ethan Madgett.” I can’t see him, but I can hear the smile in his voice. “See ya in a bit, Matty.” I listen to his footsteps as he leaves, a small smile on my lips. Matty; I like that.