HOME | DD

Description
My mind spiralled down its old pathways of jealousy and ownership, which had me back to square ten, questioning the fundamental inclusions of monogamy. A gathering of old thoughts and queries.

Why would a partner choose to spend their time/energy with another when we had been missing each other?
I am not the only important person in the world; I am not, nor cannot be another's "All-Person". In the way we do not only have one friend, one child, one parent, one pet, or gods-above only one among those, we are not naturally restricted to that one relationship.

A friend or child being jealous of another is considered unhealthy, and in our society, children are raised to accept that that level of jealousy is not correct. However, this positive and constructive growth and feedback are entirely left behind when we age into our relationships.

Does the fact we are in a monogamous relationship mean they owe me their body?
A quirky trick of the mind is that because you have agreed to have all your needs met by that one-special-person in your life that they, therefore, must be there to support your needs. ALL OF THEM. We see this with emotional baggage and in many other ways. Sex under this microscope is where this ideal fails for everyone to see.

In a monogamous situation, Partner A wants sex while Partner B just got home from work, or had a long day with the children. Partner B is responsible for meeting the needs of Partner A correct?

Universally the answer is no; no human owes another human their body. A situation of this type is a coercive and power oriented one; therefore, we come to see that the expectation of the person-ownership model that is implicit inside monogamy is at its root, rotted.

Rolling back this understanding therefore, we see that if Person B comes home from a bad day at work and requires Emotional Support in the form of listening to ranting about co-workers or career conditions we can understand that Person A is under no obligation to provide that to them, otherwise we enter the same coercive and power oriented structure. No Human OWES another their time, attention or emotional support.

Should Person B find that Person A is unable to provide that emotional support to them, in our society, it is not wrong to search for another to fulfill that need. This reveals the entire presupposition of your "One-Person" ideal to be hollow. Humans require each other, and therefore, relationships abound, with each participant giving what they can or wish to on certain days under those conditions.

Coming Back to Person A wanting their needs met, how then is it not ideal for them to seek another to meet their needs when Person B is unable or unwilling to meet them. How else should we move forward?

Should Person B be expected to perform as per the expectations of another? Should Person A be expected not to meet their needs as they arise? Neither situation is healthy nor logical.

We are each responsible for our own needs and seeing them met. The Monogamous system has subsumed this understanding, with people signing over fulfilling their obligations as a human to another, and Visca-Versa. While this structure may serve some better than others, it serves no-one adequately, as has been acutely shown above.

Description
My mind spiralled down its old pathways of jealousy and ownership, which had me back to square ten, questioning the fundamental inclusions of monogamy. A gathering of old thoughts and queries.

Why would a partner choose to spend their time/energy with another when we had been missing each other?
I am not the only important person in the world; I am not, nor cannot be another's "All-Person". In the way we do not only have one friend, one child, one parent, one pet, or gods-above only one among those, we are not naturally restricted to that one relationship.

A friend or child being jealous of another is considered unhealthy, and in our society, children are raised to accept that that level of jealousy is not correct. However, this positive and constructive growth and feedback are entirely left behind when we age into our relationships.

Does the fact we are in a monogamous relationship mean they owe me their body?
A quirky trick of the mind is that because you have agreed to have all your needs met by that one-special-person in your life that they, therefore, must be there to support your needs. ALL OF THEM. We see this with emotional baggage and in many other ways. Sex under this microscope is where this ideal fails for everyone to see.

In a monogamous situation, Partner A wants sex while Partner B just got home from work, or had a long day with the children. Partner B is responsible for meeting the needs of Partner A correct?

Universally the answer is no; no human owes another human their body. A situation of this type is a coercive and power oriented one; therefore, we come to see that the expectation of the person-ownership model that is implicit inside monogamy is at its root, rotted.

Rolling back this understanding therefore, we see that if Person B comes home from a bad day at work and requires Emotional Support in the form of listening to ranting about co-workers or career conditions we can understand that Person A is under no obligation to provide that to them, otherwise we enter the same coercive and power oriented structure. No Human OWES another their time, attention or emotional support.

Should Person B find that Person A is unable to provide that emotional support to them, in our society, it is not wrong to search for another to fulfill that need. This reveals the entire presupposition of your "One-Person" ideal to be hollow. Humans require each other, and therefore, relationships abound, with each participant giving what they can or wish to on certain days under those conditions.

Coming Back to Person A wanting their needs met, how then is it not ideal for them to seek another to meet their needs when Person B is unable or unwilling to meet them. How else should we move forward?

Should Person B be expected to perform as per the expectations of another? Should Person A be expected not to meet their needs as they arise? Neither situation is healthy nor logical.

We are each responsible for our own needs and seeing them met. The Monogamous system has subsumed this understanding, with people signing over fulfilling their obligations as a human to another, and Visca-Versa. While this structure may serve some better than others, it serves no-one adequately, as has been acutely shown above.