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yuumei β Rumination
Published: 2011-06-27 16:23:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 588488; Favourites: 37957; Downloads: 7347
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YOUTUBE Rumination is an experimental work I did for my Interactive Narratives class. The story plays out like a choose your own adventure book, but no matter what you choose, it all leads to the same ending.
The story is not meant to say that we have no choices in life, but that there is no point in ruminating about a past that can't be changed. I use to waste away my days dreaming about what I could have done to save my parents' marriage, only to wake up to the realization that the past is gone, but I still have a future ahead of me.
At the Garden of Forking Paths I made a choice. No regrets. I look ahead.
Related work:
Music: Atlantean Twilight by incompetech.com/m/c/royalty-frβ¦
Related content
Comments: 7953
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wow this is kinda sad and weird....
I LIKE IT!!! great Job on this!
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Wow, playing this narrative and seeing all these comments make me realize something I've already reflected upon regarding my personal case. You see, my parents were separated ever since I was born. My only close family is my mom, and despite me being on good terms with my dad recently, I had a lot of problems with him ever since I was child. But, the thing is, even tough I missed a dad figure when younger, I always had and have my mom, she always was a mother and a father to me, because I've never seen my parents together. So I can't even imagine how a child can feel when suddenly a happy united family they always had is torn apart. It feels so painful... I hope everyone that has been through this can heal themselves from the past and manage a good relationship with both their parents... All of the best wishes to all of you
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This is a nice message. But the fact that it lead to the same ending is, in my opinions, because the parents decide everything. So the child, since he isn't very intelligent and can't make choices on his own, had only two options: left or right, mother or father, 1 or 2. It's hard for a child to make the choice of going left or right. Everything else is decided by the parents, they "own" the child. When you grow, you learn. Maybe there could have been more options if the child was older.
Still, when you only have two options, you have to make a choice, no matter what.
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I often wish my mom had left my stepdad far sooner. He may not have hit me, but he was cruel... To give a rather mild example, when he overheard me say I wished I was dead, he said it would be doing everyone a favor. I've written a few stories about my experiences with the various men in my mom's life, a fraction of what I experienced, but ones that stood out it my memory (she had terrible taste in men, and I got the brunt of it), and I wrote a poem called 'A Mother's Duty'.
Divorce can be harsh, but it's not the only depressing situation kids may face.
The stories and poems I mention are in a collection in my gallery: linked here
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This is a very beautiful message... <3 I love your art!Β
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I hate it when parents divorce! My mom tells me that when parents fight it's like this saying, "when two elephants fight the grass suffers". If parents are trying to divorce I think they should some how try to work out the problem because when they separate, it's the child(ren) that suffer the most. I even thought that there should be a law that prevents parents from divorcing until the youngest child is an adult, that way any issue(s) the parents had may have been solved by then or so the child(ren) isn't badly affect by the issues their parents have.
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I disagree.
My own parents have gotten a divorce when I was a child, but compared to when they were together, it was like a breath of fresh air. No more hiding in my room while they fight, no more being cornered into picking which of my parents I prefered better. No more abuse from my mother.
As the years went by, my relationship has greatly improved with both of my parents, I was able to focus on school more and I was able to better develop relationships with my peers. My mother even eventually realized the error of her ways in how she treated me as a child, and we have since made up and become closer than before.
Sure, divorce does sound like a negative thing. I was scared of the concept myself when I was a child. But, sometimes, its the best solution for two people to just get away from each other in order to stop clashing. I'm sure it doesn't work for everyone, but it did wonders for me. They did try to work out a solution before they decided on a divorce, but they could find one. I'm sure if they stayed together, I would be more messed up, and I might have ended up hating them.
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The music and the art tie together to make such a sad feeling
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this reminds me when i was taken away from my father. i fell into a deep depression that i am still feeling to this day. the voice in your head saying its your fault... and you believe it...... but... but you have no other choice but to believe it...
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This was amazing. I positively love your art style and the idea of the game. The author's note was inspirational and I'm positive it really brought some people up from the dumps. The music is sweet and continues to ring in my ears. Honestly I've been exploring your art for a while now through yuumeiart.com, which I found by accident. I'm glad I did though because your art is so inspiring and bring tears to my eyes. Your work never fails to remind me that even though we've gone through a lot of things, it doesn't hinder the possibilities in the future unless we let it. It reminds me that even in the pits of despair and suffering, there is hope for better days. There may be pain, but after that there's relief. After the rain comes the rainbow. Where there is dark, there is light, and where there is light we have hope. Hope for a new start and better days. Your artwork helps remind me that I have people who are willing to help, and that I don't have to keep my pain to myself. It reminds me that needing help isn't being a burden; it's just being human. This game and the author's note helped remind me that it wasn't my fault. My parents got divorced when I was only five. Since I'm the youngest, I thought I had done something wrong; that I made my father leave us. Over the years I have gotten past that. Although every once in a while I suffer from depression because of the failed marriage, I have come to realize that it was for the better. That my father and mother love me equally. This reminded me of that, and I would like to thank you for all that you've done for me. Therefore from the bottom of my heart, thank you, Yuumei, for changing my life for the better.
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Great style to express it, it's very well achieved!
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I don't cry easily. I never do, even at the party with my old classmates I didn't cry. They all cried. I thought I had a heart made of stone.
Now why am I crying so much?
Why you do this to me?
Why...
You just made me feel better afterwards, because I know that we should never take our family for granted even if our parents love each other and we are sure never to feel like this.Β
I don't.
I love and appreciate my family. It's dear to me and I do everything I can to make my family feel my love everyday, feel my gratitude for always being with me and lead me through this path that is named life.Β
I always read and hear stories about children who have been in such a great pain, much more than what we could ever expect. Even through these comments, there are stories that make me feel so stupid because sometimes I actually complain about things that aren't even comparable to theirs.
And I'm so wrong.
I am not rich, I can't always have everything I wish, but I'm good tho, I'm happy. I am happy because I have an instruction, a home, and up to everything I have a family full of love, and I'm thankful.
I am gonna go outside my room and go hug my family.
Thanks for reminding me of the luck I have.
Best wishes to you and to everyone who -for a reason o for another- had been in pain but stood up despite everything.
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Never actually looked at this before, and this is how my parents used to be with each other, it was not a fun experience and it's so damaging to the child when the parents act like that. It's sad when this happens, and it strikes true to the heart because I know first hand what it's like.
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My parents are currently going through a divorce, and this was a wonderful creation to happen upon. i don't feel responsible for their problems but for awhile my brother has. It's been hard for us recently and it's so strange to think the family i've had for 18 years will soon be broken apart.... I really appreciate your work and every aspect of it. from the visuals to the meanings.Β
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Well said. I myself have had my parents divorced. Sure! I was young. But none of it was ever my (or my sister's fault.) And I personally never saw it that way. I can never tell with my sister, she is older than me, yes. However she sometimes acts scarily like him, yet when we talk about him, she screams like he had killed somebody. Perhaps the reason we, or at least I, hadn't seen regret in through there is because my father isn't doing his "Job" right. He's too focused on his own work, and sex and now he's ended up married with two more children and 2 jobs; that may seem well, however he's having economical issues, his wife is rude and slaving him, using what money he has. And though he had 2-sometimes 3- jobs, he's not making much in wealth, Or time. He's always tired, and having self pity. He's hardly now acknowledged his family here in England, or there is Cyprus, OR with our theiving stepmother in Greece.
As for my mother, she may be unemployed, but not because of him, Because of cancer. Not some petty divorce. She now has two grown children (Us) and a fiance. My sister is making GREAT money, and my stepfather just got a job, I am in a public school of my choice, and my talent in piano is now being more improved with ACTUAL EDUCATION With TUTORS! I was completely self taught and if I had stayed in Cyprus, I'm almost certain I'd lose that talent. I do miss Cyprus, But not my father. He hasn't even remembered my birthday (or my sister's) 4 times in a row now.
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Looking back on this, I do have regrets on my relationship with my parents but I still lived a happy childhood with them. My mother married at 16 to escape her abusive household and to get money, a year later after she had her son, her husband was cheating on her and she filed for a divorce right away and raised my brother on her own. She met my dad shortly and waited a long time to get the courage to go through with their wedding, due to the less than faithful marriage she had causing her to be scared of another commitment and betrayal. She finally married my father and had me and my sisters. My brother was adopted by my dad and they got along great. Nearly two years ago my dad passed away all of a sudden after nearly 37 years of a happy marriage with my mom. My mom grew up with an alcoholic father and a spoiled mother who abused her brothers. She stood in the way to get her parents to stop beating her brothers, and she wanted away from her horrid situation.
To all who think it is their fault that their parents could not stay together or abuse each other: it is never your fault. There was nothing you could do. The future is bright and strong, and you can get your happy ending. You are loved and will always be loved.
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This was amazing and actually made me cry. I am going through what happened in this and i feel like it gave me that boost that i am not the only one that went through this. Thank you.
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My father was always mean and rude to me. My mother was as well, but not as much. Also, everytime she lost control and was screaming at me and beating me up, she apologied. My father nerver did.My mother always spoke of seperating, but she never did. My father was gettig too much money, my mother was addicted to coke, ciggarets, buying clothes and other stuff. I'm still thirteen, but my father doesn't beat me up so much. In the last months you could say it's just 'growing up a child' and 'teaching them how to do things'. Even tho I know it's not like it. I wish my parents would seperate and I could live with my mother. But again, my father get paid well ...I dunno, I think I might just live here til I'm old enough to live alone or with my friends or something, so everything will be good anyway ^^
EDIT after reading some commets:Even tho my paretns are still married I cried playing this, I cried reading the commets, I feel like I never had parents. I'm the shiny kid.The perfect one. I have to be perfect. For my mother I'm perfect like this, because I'm pretty good. That's why she dosn't beat me up a lot or something. My father says I'm not perfect. My grades are the best in my class , but not in my whole school. I help cleaning and cooking, but I don't do it alone. I help wherever I can, but I often trip and fall over. Then I got yelled at. Then I got punched. Then my father talks to me.Like, what went wrong with me, that I'm so stupid. I have no brain. I'm worthless. Nobody likes me. Rude stuff like this....I never felt like having parents. Sometimes my father told my mother she never archieved something in her life or similar, then they fight for weeks. This happens every year once or twice. In this weeks, I have to cook, and have to avoid my parents, and I'm not allowed to flee to friends (hang out at their's).Sometimes I don't eat for days when this happens. No one knows, ecxept you, who is reading this. Sorry for spelling and sorry this is sooooo long....but it feels good to tell ^-^
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Please, tell somebody you know in real life about this.Β Tell a school counselor, a teacher, a friend...Β Something needs to be done about this.
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I'm. .I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I hope you have friends / other family members to support you.
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My father is not perfect. But still, I'm glad I have him by my side.. Beautiful work.Β
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When my parents got divorced I was 7 and my sister was 9 and we had blamed ourselves. Thinking we were too needy or just being over a baby.....They always fought over us and whenever they fought we would hold onto each other and just pray.....pray to have wings so we could fly far away and wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. Heh we never did get our wings. And as the years went on the fights got worse and more frequent, and i got between them telling them to stop but instead i got pushed so hard i fell onto our glass table breaking it and punctured a lung........they didn't notice until my sister cried for me. that was when they realized the effects of what their fighting had done. Later that month they got divorced and mom got custody on my sister and dad got me.......but they couldn't separate us so we both stayed with mom with occasional visits from dad. They still fight..... but i can tell mom is tired though. I'm not 16 my sister now 18......we don't see our dad anymore. And mom is always working Β killing herself just to provide for us
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I guess its hard, when your parents are together.. even if they don't want to be, it feels right, like everything is in its right place? Like the walls are where they are meant to be, and somehow because of this suddenly you can do anything, feel anything, make a difference. When they are apart it feels like the world can't cheer me up, and I feel hollow. Time spent with friends doesn't mean anything. And it feels like you are torn in half, that you'll never be whole again. It makes you re-evaluate wanting to be in a relationship, makes you think.. "Do I want my child to feel this way? Could I do it better? What went wrong? Did I do anything?" SO on that note I understand this narrative.
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I was thinking something to say, but all the comments of the people posting their own experiences left me without worlds. My parents didn't get divorced, so I don't really know how it feels to feel guilty about that. But reading the comments below I've seen that the message that you wanted to express was understood so well for them. Congratulations :3
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I miss my father....*sigh*..π: 0 β©: 0
The first time I read this and " play " this story was a long ago. My parents were still together and I and my sister were happy.
It touched me a little, but I couldn't feel what the real feels were.
Until today.
My parents divorced a year ago, it was heartbreaking. I've never really thought it could happen to me. To my eyes, everything was... correct, happy, satisfying. And then, everything felt appart.
Now, I understand it better. I understand the hard choices. I understand how it is, to feel guilty.Β
I maybe don't have the worst family situation ( I can see both my parents and they don't harm me ), but I'm feeling alone. Terribly alone. And this separation has changed me. I know it, my parent know it too, but they pretend not.
Sorry for my bad english ( feel free to correct me ). But, I want to say, thank you Yuumei, your art is inspiring and it helps a lot.
Thank you.
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I thank you so so much for this work from you, yuumei! IΒ΄m really thankful.
Years ago I had mom, dad and a little sister. But my dad met another woman on his work (she is my stepmother today) and my mom started to prefer my little sister and beat me a lot in her rage and hate she started to felt for my dad. In the end she did suicide and my sister and I stand alone with dad and "the new one". Even today I think a lot about if I had could do something. Felt guilty for the suicide of my mom, even if she beat me every day for anything, felt guilty for my dad having a girlfriend even if he was married and had two little daugthers. I felt guilty for everything.
My grades failed, I started to hate my sister for she were prefered, locked myself away in my art, started to hate my father for having another girlfriend which was looking down to my like a piece of shit and to my sister and I were fleeing to my grandparents.
When I said to my family that IΒ΄m bisexual and was getting worse how my stepmother was acting to me.
Today IΒ΄m married with a wonderful man who is supporting me in my art and have very close relationship to my dad again. My stepmother still donΒ΄t like me and my sister and I donΒ΄t like her too but itΒ΄s ok. I realized that I have my own life and future, my wonderful husband, my friends, my art which helped me so much in the bad days.
A few days ago I had I had a phase again were I was dreaming If I had could do something, what were when I made other decisions.
YouΒ΄re interactive experiment really helped me to getting back in my mind that everything is okay and there is no use in draeming about the past and no child, no woman, no man is guilty for the actions and decisions of their parents. Thank you so much yuumei!
Β
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I don't understand why, but the choice between the mother and the father was so hard for me. Your art inspires me so much.
When I was little, I had a small world. I had a mom, a dad, an older sister and a younger brother. It all changed when I was put into CPS. I found out my mother wasn't my mother. It tore my world apart. If she were my mother, I could have been able to say maybe, somewhere in her heart, she had some love for me. She regretted what she did - But she wasn't my mother. There was no reason to regret.
Eventually she left my father. I came to hate her for that, as my father began to treat me not as a daughter, but as a servant. More like a geisha in training. I'd get beat if my cooking wasn't good. My grades began to fail, and for that I was beat as well.
When I was 12, my father sexually assaulted me.
I couldn't find it in me to tell anyone, so I held it in. For two years I put on a happy facade, pretending everything was fine and that I wasn't spiraling into a pit of self deprecation.
My teacher noticed it however. She noticed that every drawing I created was morbid and depressing. She noticed me putting my soul into something that couldn't be explained.
She left the school. Again I found myself spiraling.
I eventually told. When I was 14 I told and ever since then I've regretted. I put him in jail and my grandmother became depressed because of this. It was my fault.
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I do not know if this is real. Sadly, in thiss world there are people that would write this for attention. And i am sorry if this is a true story.
In the case it is, i want to say this.
I know that you think this is your fault, but it is not. I am not the strongest voice to you, and i am sure you heard it before.
What happened is not your fault. Not what happened to your parrents. Not what happened to your dad, and definetly not what he did to you.
You were a kid. A child that bad things happen to. And that is not fair.
Your dad was an adult. Where he is now, or where he was, was his own fault. He decided to do what he did to you, and that is not our fault-
I hope you have a better life the day today
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Yeah, it's surprisingly true. dA is a big site, you're bound to run into people like me-- sadly enough.
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It's okay, this world is not perfect, and what happened to you happens in this world.
This world is not the best place sometimes, but it's all we have.
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Please don't feel as if it is your fault. It is not your fault. No one ever deserves for something like that to happen to them, especially by a parent. If you ever need someone to talk to, send me a note.
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Feel my tears. I thought although this is sad, you have portrayed this situation beautifully, effectively showing the seriousness and sadness of any of these situations. I love this, IllΒ see what else you have.
A quick question if you don't mind, but how did you manage to do this?Β Its very inspiring and I might wish to try someday,
Thanks
And keep up the Majestic work!Β
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This is absolutely beautiful and I can't begin to imagine what it's like for other people. I have a somewhat similar situation so I feel I can empathize, however.. I never had much of a choice since this somewhat went on at my birth. I had to stay with my mother and I love her with all my heart and I'm glad it's like that, but I wish I could help those who don't have it like me.
Thanks for making this ;n;
The children.. ;n;
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hum.. I cannot imagine ... I'm so lucky...
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