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olivebates ♀️ [9166544] [2008-12-24 10:30:11 +0000 UTC] "Hello, I am here!" (Denmark)

# Statistics

Favourites: 66; Deviations: 95; Watchers: 54

Watching: 87; Pageviews: 12346; Comments Made: 716; Friends: 87

# Interests

Favorite visual artist: Tom TwoKinds
Favorite movies: Cube
Favorite TV shows: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Favorite bands / musical artists: Owl City, Savant
Favorite books: A Series of Unfortunate Events
Favorite writers: Zamia Lillium
Favorite games: An Untitled Story, Awesomenauts
Favorite gaming platform: Windows 7 64-bit
Tools of the Trade: Hands, brains, and patience
Other Interests: Making games, making music, Making art, Learning new stuff, Ponies, Being an internet troll, Hot chicks, anime porn, and Internet memes

# About me

How to end suffering:

After years of suffering - depression, anxiety, betrayal, abandonment - And after people kept on telling me "this is just how life is, you gotta find a balance in it". I refused to believe that "this is just how life is". After years of searching for a solution, I found that loving-kindness meditation is the only thing that actually gave some sort of result towards this. After searching the shallow butcherdization of the western's view on meditation, someone suggested I listen to The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. From there, I became obsessed with realizing my true nature. I'd listen to every talk I could get my hands on, and for years I was barely interested in anything else. I'd ly in bed and listen to these talks for hours on end, often neglecting school and work in the process. As a result, here I am, writing this.

> The pain is unbearable.

As I emptied my well of mental scars and blockages, the gaps between my heart closing up gradually became shorter and shorter. Every time I noticed it closed, I opened up again - relax your shoulders, open your chest, open your heart. (When I say open your heart, I mean literally relax the muscles in the center of your chest. This should bring you into a meditative state of mental clarity.... ) Even when it felt like my entire world would crash and burn, and I'd lose my sanity and my life if I did - relax your shoulders, open your chest, open your heart. Let it all flow through you. Even the things that feel like it will end your life. At some point I didn't even know what was causing it to close, as I just opened up immediately without questioning it, resulting just a cascade of releasing of 'bad' energy. This happened more often as I got closer and closer to reality. At one point, while I was playing a game with my friend, and something came up that made me close. I opened by relaxing my shoulders, opening my chest, opening my heart. And suddenly something just flipped. I was no longer just relaxing the muscles, I relaxed the space around it. The entire field around my chest and head area became indistinguishable from myself experientially. Suddenly I realized "Oh" "Is that how it is".

> Opening my heart is difficult.

While it's in reality just muscle contractions, it can help to think of it as a river of energy that flows from the crown of your head and out between your legs. The sensation you are feeling is the built up energy trying to burst through all at once. The longer you allow the energy to build up, the more painful it'll be when you finally let it open up. To allow it through, simply **relax your shoulders, open your chest, open your heart**.

When something touches the thorn in your heart called "my friend abandoned me" or, "my lover betrayed my trust" or "I lost my parents when I was 6", relax your shoulders, open your chest, open your heart. Watch that feeling flow through you. Even if it feels like your world will end, watch that feeling flow through you, and see what happens. If your thoughts argue, watch those thoughts too. Watch and allow it, the same way you would, if you were watching a cloud pass by.

By allowing something to flow through you, you allow your body-mind to process it. It is no longer something that wants to be processed but can't. It is no longer something in your system, that you must protect from being disturbed. You are free to live your life without worrying about it.

This is acceptance.