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Description
Speedpainting! ~ www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1Ucv5…

"Dark" art received the most votes on the poll, so dark art it is!

I really enjoyed working on this piece! It was fun to do something colorful again, and I've missed Color Therapy!

I definitely needed it, that's for sure! Working on this really helped me work through some personal issues I was having at the time; it was just one of those extremely stressful, "anything-that-can-go-wrong-will-go-wrong" months, and I was just so angry, all the time! I literally couldn't stop being angry, no matter how much I tried.

I'd spend all day fuming, looking for some sort of distraction in hopes that I would cool down a bit, then something worse would happen and I'd get even angrier.. by the time I got to bed, I'd be so freakin' miserable that all I could do was dread what tomorrow would bring. And in my dreams, my mind found very creative ways to express how truly angry I was, deep down inside, so.. that was a thing.

Anyway, one day I was at such a boiling point that I honestly just didn't know what to do with myself, and I eventually found myself at the computer, working on this.
It was slow-going at first, because, naturally, the more I tried not to think of all the crap I was trying to get away from, the more I couldn't help but focus on it, and.. I just gave up. I was tired of trying not to think about it all - not like it was helping anyway - and I just let myself run through everything as I drew; thaaaaat's when the picture got really colorful!

The more I thought, the brighter the hair got, the deeper the red got.. kinda like my anger, haha. You know the saying, "it's gotta get worse before it gets better?" Too true. XD

And, to my shock, I actually started feeling a little better! The nightmares weren't as bad, I didn't have such a headache, I didn't feel quite so bitter.. By the time I was done with the painting altogether, I had worked through a lot of what was bothering me. Things weren't great again by any means.. but I felt better, thought a little clearer, and that helped a lot. I was finally able to get to the bottom of why I was so angry, you know?

I think one of the main reasons I got as angry as I did was out of frustration; I spend so much time trying to become a better person, be more compassionate and understanding of others, trying to give them what they need, and it feels like I do it all for people [particularly family and friends] who never seem to appreciate it; any of it. And I let it get to me.

But what I realized is.. yes, that's frustrating and it's painful, but who is my anger over all these things really hurting? Certainly not them; it's hurting me. And I deserve better than that; I don't have to punish myself because other people are choosing to treat me poorly, and I won't. Not anymore.

That's why this piece is a source of pride for me; it represents that choice, and I know I made the right decision.
I could have chosen to behave like them, and allow myself to become vengeful and self-destructive, but I chose a better way, one that let me deal with my issues without hurting anyone else. I poured my thoughts and feelings into my work, and created something wonderful out of something terrible. A baby step down the road I travel, but a step nonetheless. I just have to remember that, no matter how thick the fire or darkness, I always have the choice to either let myself be swallowed by it, or use it to become even stronger. And I choose.. to be strong.

//sorry about the wall of text, I just had so much to say!!////cries

Done on Paint Tool SAI in about 3 hours. <3

Song Inspiration ~ "All I hear is noise/don't expect my full attention when you speak to me/all I hear is noise" ~ All I Hear Is Noise by Surveyor

Description
Speedpainting! ~ www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1Ucv5…

"Dark" art received the most votes on the poll, so dark art it is!

I really enjoyed working on this piece! It was fun to do something colorful again, and I've missed Color Therapy!

I definitely needed it, that's for sure! Working on this really helped me work through some personal issues I was having at the time; it was just one of those extremely stressful, "anything-that-can-go-wrong-will-go-wrong" months, and I was just so angry, all the time! I literally couldn't stop being angry, no matter how much I tried.

I'd spend all day fuming, looking for some sort of distraction in hopes that I would cool down a bit, then something worse would happen and I'd get even angrier.. by the time I got to bed, I'd be so freakin' miserable that all I could do was dread what tomorrow would bring. And in my dreams, my mind found very creative ways to express how truly angry I was, deep down inside, so.. that was a thing.

Anyway, one day I was at such a boiling point that I honestly just didn't know what to do with myself, and I eventually found myself at the computer, working on this.
It was slow-going at first, because, naturally, the more I tried not to think of all the crap I was trying to get away from, the more I couldn't help but focus on it, and.. I just gave up. I was tired of trying not to think about it all - not like it was helping anyway - and I just let myself run through everything as I drew; thaaaaat's when the picture got really colorful!

The more I thought, the brighter the hair got, the deeper the red got.. kinda like my anger, haha. You know the saying, "it's gotta get worse before it gets better?" Too true. XD

And, to my shock, I actually started feeling a little better! The nightmares weren't as bad, I didn't have such a headache, I didn't feel quite so bitter.. By the time I was done with the painting altogether, I had worked through a lot of what was bothering me. Things weren't great again by any means.. but I felt better, thought a little clearer, and that helped a lot. I was finally able to get to the bottom of why I was so angry, you know?

I think one of the main reasons I got as angry as I did was out of frustration; I spend so much time trying to become a better person, be more compassionate and understanding of others, trying to give them what they need, and it feels like I do it all for people [particularly family and friends] who never seem to appreciate it; any of it. And I let it get to me.

But what I realized is.. yes, that's frustrating and it's painful, but who is my anger over all these things really hurting? Certainly not them; it's hurting me. And I deserve better than that; I don't have to punish myself because other people are choosing to treat me poorly, and I won't. Not anymore.

That's why this piece is a source of pride for me; it represents that choice, and I know I made the right decision.
I could have chosen to behave like them, and allow myself to become vengeful and self-destructive, but I chose a better way, one that let me deal with my issues without hurting anyone else. I poured my thoughts and feelings into my work, and created something wonderful out of something terrible. A baby step down the road I travel, but a step nonetheless. I just have to remember that, no matter how thick the fire or darkness, I always have the choice to either let myself be swallowed by it, or use it to become even stronger. And I choose.. to be strong.

//sorry about the wall of text, I just had so much to say!!////cries

Done on Paint Tool SAI in about 3 hours. <3

Song Inspiration ~ "All I hear is noise/don't expect my full attention when you speak to me/all I hear is noise" ~ All I Hear Is Noise by Surveyor