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Description
Dave walked into his own party, fifteen minutes late in spite of the fact that it was being held not only on his own ridiculously dangerous planet, but also in his very own home. He was wearing a red felt suit, and had two fedoras in his hands, one black, and one red. You hoped that this had nothing to do with creepy troll romances. You did not wanna end up having to do random kinky blackrom shit with someone you didn’t know. Or worse, Eridan.
“We’re gonna play fifteen minutes in heaven, bitches.” The cool-kid said, a small, shit eating grin working it’s way to his lips. You face-palmed, and hoped that this wasn’t going to go down like you had the feeling it would. You’d end up in the closet with Karkat, and he’d yell at you the whole time, or Kankri while he lectured you, or Eridan while he groped at you and you banged on the door.
You only hoped that the sort-of chaperone, the one who only went by the signless, would prevent such immature, and irresponsible shenanagins from occuring. He was an adult, and far more respected than any of the younger adult trolls, like Kankri and his babbling, or Mituna and his fits of crazy. He sat in the corner, one eyebrow raised, and his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall, covered by that dramatic cloak of his. He had a small bit of stubble, and a well-kept goatee, and he was the definition of sexy. Ever movement showed off his lean, but defined muscles, and he dripped an aura of authority and respect, without inducing the fear of many figures with a similar air about them.
But seeing as how you were also there as a sort-of adult figure, mostly to make sure neither of the Amporas got up to any funny business, you wouldn’t be in the hat for selection. Not that it mattered unless the Christ-figure was there with you. You had no desire to be locked in a closet for fifteen minutes with any of the others. You were pouting, and fantasizing at the same time when you heard your name called from the red hat, which apparently contained the females. Your (gemstone eye color) eyes flew open, shocked at the newest addition to your “WTF” resume.
“And now, for the guy our lovely mistress gets to make out with in a closet…” Dave said, building suspense as he drew from the black hat of males. The paper was small, and so your were waiting for something like John, who wrote in nearly microscopic script. “Whatever dickwad decided to only draw the fucking sixty-nine crab.” He held up the cancer symbol written in a bright red ink.
“How did I know signing the ledger would come back to bite me?” He said, smiling a little and shrugging. “I think this is just an excuse to get the adults out of the room, and lock us away. What do you think?” He raised an eyebrow at you, and you flushed redder than his signature. He was letting you make the choice, and you had no idea what to do. Logic told you that you should stay here and watch the children, but your stupid, swooning heart told you to get alone with him in the closest thing to a romantic situation you were likely to get.
“There old enough that I don’t know why we’re here to start with. Besides, if they do anything we’ll hear one of your kids, either calling them curse words, or blowing his damn whistle.” You answered, trying to be cool about it. Luckily, you had the aura of cool given off by the Strider as an example, and you seemed to pull it off.
“Alright. Have fun, kids. But not too much.” The signless said, smirking slightly wider, and showing his sharp canine tooth, by accident or intention you didn’t know.
He walked into the open closet, and you followed on his heels like a lost puppy, trailing a man who happened to have a raw steak in his hands. The door was closed behind you, and you sighed, wondering if the nervousness in your chest was more due to the possible activities occurring outside, or the man on the inside. You couldn’t see a damn thing, and you started trying to feel your way around. Every time you felt the cloth of a coat, you wondered if it was the cotton of his cloak, and patted it to find it empty. There was only so much room in this itty-bitty closet, where the hell did he go!
“There you are.” He said, and you got your answer as he somehow ended up behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder.
“How did you end up behind me?” You asked, turning around, as if you would be able to look him in the face. Due to his various levels of hunching, mostly standing straight when addressing people, and looking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame half the rest of the time. The question was, where was his face now.
“I simply felt around trying to find you, and somehow ended up at the door without hitting you.” He explained, and you knew that he had that cute, apologetic smile of his on those full, red, soft looking lips.
“But I can’t even stretch out my arms…how…?” while you were busy figuring out the logistics of the enclosed space, he began chuckling.
“This is Dave, we’re talking about…Are we sure that you’re confused?” He said, and you shrugged.
“Probably a secret compartment or something else weird likes that.” You decided, laughing along with him.
“Well, this is a kissing game,” he said, and you nearly had a stroke of joy. “Wanna follow the rules? I mean, what kind of chaperone doesn’t follow the rules?”
“Yeah. Defiantly. Just doin’ our adult-like duties.” You said, mentally cursing as your face returned to its strawberry-esk appearance. You could just feel his smirk as warm lips touched yours; only a whisper, until it became more of a shout, or at least his preacherly projection voice. In surprise, your body moved back, leaving you leaning on the far wall of the closet as he moved his hand to your face, caressing it softly before his tongue did the same to your waiting lips.
Now you could feel his smirk, but you didn’t care. Every touch had the perfect mix of care and dominance, the combination that only he could achieve. You worked your fingers into that soft, tousled silk that was his raven hair. He put a strong hand on your hip, as his tongue worked its magic on your mouth, making your vision blur and your knees go weak. Your bodies were pressed flush against each other when the door opened, and everyone looked in.
“Oh God, even with the shades and the dark, I’ve still seen too much!” Dave said, making a disgusted face.
“WHAT THE FUCK, DAD?” Karkat shouted, looking horrified.
“And they were worried about what WE would do? Not to mention with that smile on your face, we can hardly call you the sufferer anymore.” John said, simply having a pre-laugh face.
“Yeah, yeah…” You rolled your eyes, and stuck your tongue out at them.
“I don’t want the old man’s sloppy seconds.” Dave said, walking out. “Worst birthday gift ever.”

Description
Dave walked into his own party, fifteen minutes late in spite of the fact that it was being held not only on his own ridiculously dangerous planet, but also in his very own home. He was wearing a red felt suit, and had two fedoras in his hands, one black, and one red. You hoped that this had nothing to do with creepy troll romances. You did not wanna end up having to do random kinky blackrom shit with someone you didn’t know. Or worse, Eridan.
“We’re gonna play fifteen minutes in heaven, bitches.” The cool-kid said, a small, shit eating grin working it’s way to his lips. You face-palmed, and hoped that this wasn’t going to go down like you had the feeling it would. You’d end up in the closet with Karkat, and he’d yell at you the whole time, or Kankri while he lectured you, or Eridan while he groped at you and you banged on the door.
You only hoped that the sort-of chaperone, the one who only went by the signless, would prevent such immature, and irresponsible shenanagins from occuring. He was an adult, and far more respected than any of the younger adult trolls, like Kankri and his babbling, or Mituna and his fits of crazy. He sat in the corner, one eyebrow raised, and his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall, covered by that dramatic cloak of his. He had a small bit of stubble, and a well-kept goatee, and he was the definition of sexy. Ever movement showed off his lean, but defined muscles, and he dripped an aura of authority and respect, without inducing the fear of many figures with a similar air about them.
But seeing as how you were also there as a sort-of adult figure, mostly to make sure neither of the Amporas got up to any funny business, you wouldn’t be in the hat for selection. Not that it mattered unless the Christ-figure was there with you. You had no desire to be locked in a closet for fifteen minutes with any of the others. You were pouting, and fantasizing at the same time when you heard your name called from the red hat, which apparently contained the females. Your (gemstone eye color) eyes flew open, shocked at the newest addition to your “WTF” resume.
“And now, for the guy our lovely mistress gets to make out with in a closet…” Dave said, building suspense as he drew from the black hat of males. The paper was small, and so your were waiting for something like John, who wrote in nearly microscopic script. “Whatever dickwad decided to only draw the fucking sixty-nine crab.” He held up the cancer symbol written in a bright red ink.
“How did I know signing the ledger would come back to bite me?” He said, smiling a little and shrugging. “I think this is just an excuse to get the adults out of the room, and lock us away. What do you think?” He raised an eyebrow at you, and you flushed redder than his signature. He was letting you make the choice, and you had no idea what to do. Logic told you that you should stay here and watch the children, but your stupid, swooning heart told you to get alone with him in the closest thing to a romantic situation you were likely to get.
“There old enough that I don’t know why we’re here to start with. Besides, if they do anything we’ll hear one of your kids, either calling them curse words, or blowing his damn whistle.” You answered, trying to be cool about it. Luckily, you had the aura of cool given off by the Strider as an example, and you seemed to pull it off.
“Alright. Have fun, kids. But not too much.” The signless said, smirking slightly wider, and showing his sharp canine tooth, by accident or intention you didn’t know.
He walked into the open closet, and you followed on his heels like a lost puppy, trailing a man who happened to have a raw steak in his hands. The door was closed behind you, and you sighed, wondering if the nervousness in your chest was more due to the possible activities occurring outside, or the man on the inside. You couldn’t see a damn thing, and you started trying to feel your way around. Every time you felt the cloth of a coat, you wondered if it was the cotton of his cloak, and patted it to find it empty. There was only so much room in this itty-bitty closet, where the hell did he go!
“There you are.” He said, and you got your answer as he somehow ended up behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder.
“How did you end up behind me?” You asked, turning around, as if you would be able to look him in the face. Due to his various levels of hunching, mostly standing straight when addressing people, and looking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame half the rest of the time. The question was, where was his face now.
“I simply felt around trying to find you, and somehow ended up at the door without hitting you.” He explained, and you knew that he had that cute, apologetic smile of his on those full, red, soft looking lips.
“But I can’t even stretch out my arms…how…?” while you were busy figuring out the logistics of the enclosed space, he began chuckling.
“This is Dave, we’re talking about…Are we sure that you’re confused?” He said, and you shrugged.
“Probably a secret compartment or something else weird likes that.” You decided, laughing along with him.
“Well, this is a kissing game,” he said, and you nearly had a stroke of joy. “Wanna follow the rules? I mean, what kind of chaperone doesn’t follow the rules?”
“Yeah. Defiantly. Just doin’ our adult-like duties.” You said, mentally cursing as your face returned to its strawberry-esk appearance. You could just feel his smirk as warm lips touched yours; only a whisper, until it became more of a shout, or at least his preacherly projection voice. In surprise, your body moved back, leaving you leaning on the far wall of the closet as he moved his hand to your face, caressing it softly before his tongue did the same to your waiting lips.
Now you could feel his smirk, but you didn’t care. Every touch had the perfect mix of care and dominance, the combination that only he could achieve. You worked your fingers into that soft, tousled silk that was his raven hair. He put a strong hand on your hip, as his tongue worked its magic on your mouth, making your vision blur and your knees go weak. Your bodies were pressed flush against each other when the door opened, and everyone looked in.
“Oh God, even with the shades and the dark, I’ve still seen too much!” Dave said, making a disgusted face.
“WHAT THE FUCK, DAD?” Karkat shouted, looking horrified.
“And they were worried about what WE would do? Not to mention with that smile on your face, we can hardly call you the sufferer anymore.” John said, simply having a pre-laugh face.
“Yeah, yeah…” You rolled your eyes, and stuck your tongue out at them.
“I don’t want the old man’s sloppy seconds.” Dave said, walking out. “Worst birthday gift ever.”