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Description
A year ago around this time, my best friend committed suicide. Just two months before that, she had another attempt while visiting another country for her vacation. I happened to find her suicide note posted on social media and immediately notified her family. Things were very hectic for the next few days as we tried to contact local authorities, local friends, tracked her locations, etc. In the end, we managed to find her. After that incident, I found myself distancing from her like a coward I was. When I came back home to visit, I never looked for her and I had always had. I kept thinking, if I were to reach out and be there for her, would this whole thing have played out differently? I only found out officially of what happened after the pandemic started and it's been eating me away that I'm unable to go home and visit her grave for a proper closure, although I'm quite doubtful that it would.

We had matching tattoos of koi fishes, mines red and hers blue.

I just want to see her again. There are too many things left unspoken. Wish I know a way out of all this spiraling.

Description
A year ago around this time, my best friend committed suicide. Just two months before that, she had another attempt while visiting another country for her vacation. I happened to find her suicide note posted on social media and immediately notified her family. Things were very hectic for the next few days as we tried to contact local authorities, local friends, tracked her locations, etc. In the end, we managed to find her. After that incident, I found myself distancing from her like a coward I was. When I came back home to visit, I never looked for her and I had always had. I kept thinking, if I were to reach out and be there for her, would this whole thing have played out differently? I only found out officially of what happened after the pandemic started and it's been eating me away that I'm unable to go home and visit her grave for a proper closure, although I'm quite doubtful that it would.

We had matching tattoos of koi fishes, mines red and hers blue.

I just want to see her again. There are too many things left unspoken. Wish I know a way out of all this spiraling.