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flawedfairytale — it's 4am
Published: 2010-02-01 00:59:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 1084; Favourites: 41; Downloads: 11
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Description
and my heart's still beating.}we paused;
tying heart-strings with our scores set at zero.
folding our glove of black inked hearts;
we stopped lusting for kicks.
at 2.23 am, reality wasn't all it was made out to be.}
bottle-green thistles
thorned through your pupils;
dropping seconds of olive breath
as i sacrificed my lungs to feed
our envy--
hexing the charmed air
and bleaching the sky; a whitewash
deluge, with ivory petticoats
translucent amidst the haze;
my smoky half-moon crescents obscured
from your sight. blurring with spits
of earl-grey rubble dropping from our
forgotten eyes-- i step
away; lost into the distance.
at 3.45 am, reality ceased to exist.}
and now,
it's 4am
and the clouds don't fly like they used to.
the kites have fallen;
fallen, fallen
and sparrows are grounded. their wings
caught in limbo; multiple choice with all the
wrong answers, coaxed to fight or flight.
yet,
it's 4am
and i'm still alive.
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Comments: 32
Your style of writing and all the emotions you pack in your words render me awe-struck. 
Lovely, lovely job!
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Awh, bless you! Thankyou so much, I'm glad you felt that way ^.^
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Thank you for sharing such an incredible piece, Lucy
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This is fabulous! Wow. I love it, just the way it all came together at the end. The imagery you used in the middle section is so original and awesome! I can't wait to look at the rest of your gallery.
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Thankyou, that means a lot to me. (:
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You're incredibly welcome! ^_^
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Once again mesmerized by your writing. I couldn't quite the flow of this but nevertheless it's great ^_^
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Thankyou soso much 
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This poem is absolutely gorgeous. Every word is well-thought-out and every line perfectly executed. The description and figurative language is rich and clear. I adore it.
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You are so sweet- thankyou!
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You're really sweet, thankyou.
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Aag, you're too kind. Thankyou.
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bottle-green thistles
thorned through your pupils;
dropping seconds of olive breath
as i sacrificed my lungs to feed
our envy--
just plain delicious.
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your writing is great! you have an awesome style...
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I love the way you give color to things we cannot see! Beautiful vision!
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Thankyou so much.
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I agree. I love the time-progression, and that closing line! Perfect! This is a wonderful piece, I am sorry that I have no better comments than that.
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Aag, don't be sorry; thankyou so much.
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Love the use of time to show progression and the fantastic way you frame your lines. You make such interesting language choices that never fail to payoff with fantastic images and emotions.
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Thankyou soso much.
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Very pretty, your style of writing is so wonderful. I'm just curious, how long does it take you on average to write a piece of this length? x
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Thankyou! Hmm, this one took around 30-45 minutes, just because I was tired and the thoughts of this kept me awake, so it was more of a i-need-to-write-this-now than anything else. But generally around an hour, I think. :]
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