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School Days Comic
by-nc-nd
Published: 2011-02-23 22:43:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 27360; Favourites: 1278; Downloads: 0
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Description
This is my first attempt at writing a comic, so any feedback would be great.The story was inspired by Kurt Vonnegut.
The script is written by me with the artwork is done by the awesome ~m-u-h-a .
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Comments: 1000
This is my first critique but in this case I feel that I should write one for once.
The artwork is nicely done, I really like the colors and style though it sure has a few flaws every now and there but otherwise it's really well done and works great with the story itself.
About the story though... I'm OUTRAGED that you didn't give any credits to the original story which you used nearly unchanged. The story is "Examination Day" and was written by Henry Slesar as you are probably very aware yourself.
If you had given credit instead of claiming that you wrote the skript everything would have been allright but this behaviour is really disappointing and makes me mad.
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Well the art is great so I have to congratulate ~m-u-h-a on this. Each moment of the story is draw really well, even the simple emotions are portrayed so well. The last panel is great because they have captured a very shocking moment so well.
Originality I cannot give any points for because I, along with many others, have actually read this story before. Examination Day, the story I think you have probably based this on, is featured in many English literature books world wide because of it's strong political views.
Impact wise, I think it's left a sour taste in my mouth. The story is quite gripping and has a strong impression on you for the shock ending but I'm highly disappointed that this has got so much recognition when you've not done something very original and copied a famous work without giving credit e.deviantart.net/emoticons/f/f⦠" width="15" height="15" alt="
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I totally agree.
I really don't get why artists can hide critiques just by marking them as unfair or ignoring them because that's just dumb and totally goes against the idea of critique in general.
In the end it's up to everyone themself whether they agree with the critique or not but irl you'd have to at least listen to other ppl's critique too whether you want to hear it or not
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Totally agree. You should not be allowed to hide a critque. You should be allowed to report them but not hide them, especially when a person is just giving their opinion.
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This is a truly stunning comic with an unforeseen outcome.
The layout is very easy to follow and the single pages are all very harmonic in colours.
Maybe it would have been better if you upldoaded it page by page because the colour scale implies a certain atmosphere which is slightly disturbed by the contrast between one page and those before and afterwards.
A detail about the layout that makes it look a bit unprofessional is the way you added the page numbers.
It doesn't look like you were going for consistent looking numbering.
It's a detail you could take care of in future.
The panels themselves are drawn in a (to me) appealing style, not too realistic and not too cartoonish either what suits the plot nicely.
Only few details look a bit off like for example how the father is holding the phone on the last page or his hand in the last panel of the first page (but hands are tricky things to draw so that's forgivable e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w⦠" width="15" height="15" alt="
What also appears strange to me is that you are suddenly changing the style of shading in the second last panel; the hatching looks more like hair than shading.
Yet all in all you displayed a stunning and deep story with a surprising and dramatic twist on very few pages. Great job!
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Der Comic. Das war unerwartet! D:
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Nicht wahr? :C
Aber ich finde den verdammt gut.
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its a great comic story ! the art work is also very amazing , an the story got my interest ! keep the hard work going . i'm a story writer myself so having a chat with you would be awesome ! i'l hope you got the time one day
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Thanks for the comment!
I am glad that youΒ liked artwork but it wasn't done by me. I only wrote the script.
Let me know if you still want to chat.
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0f course i want to chat ! about the art tell the person who drew it , it was very nice ! send me a message if you want to
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Great work! Would you be interested in working on a comic book together?
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What did you have in mind?
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Something fun and inspiring for both of us! I'm thinking something fresh that matches your artwork.
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damn son!!!!
now that's what I call a plot twist!
amazing story and the colours really help set the mood.
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lol - thanks. I am glad that you enjoyed it!
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Thanks for the feedback.
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Thanks for the wonderful comment!
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The last few lines kind of stabbed me...But anyways this is brilliant
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Thanks for the wonder comment!
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And I thought Harrison Bergeron showed a disturbing future.
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I hope you enjoyed the story.
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Nope...this was only a short story.
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Took you a while to answer, but at least I could read the comic again...
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That was horrible, brutal, cruel, nasty, malicious, excessively dark, and a bunch of other words I found in a Thesaurus.
I WANT MORE!!!
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lol - thanks for you amazing feedback.
I hope to write more stories in the future!
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Wow that was really sad. I liked it a lot that.
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I am glad you enjoyed the story.
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A world that only provides education to the chosen, and those who succeed above the requirements are erased. Now that's messed up but interesting at the same time. Great work and pray this does not happen in the future.
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Scary thing - It is currently happening now!
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I remember seeing this before, but I don't remember commenting.
The scary thing about this is that it could actually happen. Great work, anyways, both to you, the writer, and to the artist.
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It actually does happen in certain parts of the world...Now that is scary.
Thanks for the comment!
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There was a 80's Twilight Zone episode with this same story:
[link]
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I hope it didn't freak you out too much.
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Actually, I think I read something very like it, a long time ago. But I do have to wonder if there aren't people out there who could see what unfolded in your comic, as a Good thing.
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Wow. That's...disturbing, but very good. Nice job.
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that is a very scary dystopia, and let me tell you, i've read a few. personally, i would have told my kid to act stupid, and if they murdered him/her anyway, i would have acted the same.
alll in all, very good and interesting
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